"An international conspiracy designed to get kids to behave. Now that's a holiday."
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"You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why: Because Santa just can't deal with all your emotions right now."
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"'Tis the season to drink too much with the coworkers, friends, & family who are the reason you drink too much..."
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"You have yourself a Merry Christmas. Meanwhile I'll just stand here, freezing my balls off."
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"Santa Claus is coming to town!"
"He's gonna find out!"
"He sees you when you're sleeping!"
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"You have me so...I don't know what else you could possibly wish for...but knock yourself out."
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"Remember to put out for Santa!!!"
"Let's drink mulled wine & talk utter sh*t!"
"When I think of you...I touch my 'elf..."
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"From the desk of Santa: I've seen your Instagram...you're getting sweaters and a bible for Christmas. Love, Santa"
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"This Christmas instead of gifts, I'm giving everyone...my opinions! You're welcome."
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"From: You
"To: Someone at your work
"Subject: Merry Christmas
"Have a lovely Christmas. I've really enjoyed* working with you this year."
"*I say enjoyed - it's been bearable."
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