You hear of people having a handful of chickens in their backyards so they can get fresh eggs every day. Sounds easy, you get the chickens, and they give you eggs. Don’t be fooled. It is much harder than that.
- There are how many kinds of chickens?
There are so many types of chickens to pick from, and they all lay different eggs. Some don’t produce very often at all, and some are just egg-making machines. Some varieties of chickens don’t get along, and some do. There’s a lot of research to do. After hours of online research, I ended up going with the kinds the local farmer’s co-op had at the time. I ended up with five “good layers” of three different breeds. Thanks guy-from-the-co-op for being patient with a lady in heels waist up in a barrel of chicks. - I am a chicken owner!
Man, I was excited driving home! They were so freaking cute!! We stared at them and took them out and held them. We tucked them in for their first night all cozy warm in their cardboard box, and hoped they would survive the night. We went to bed terrified of what we had just started. - Be prepared.
As the days went by, and they survived, we learned that they needed more space, and that we weren’t keeping them warm enough as they were huddled up in a corner together. So we got back online, bought a better heat lamp, and learned to use a red bulb because apparently if a baby chick sees blood on another chick then that cute little fuzz ball will peck the other one to death. Yeah, didn’t see that horror movie turn did you? Anyway, we got their temporary housing going while my husband continued building their outdoor coop. - They're chickens.
On sunny days we would have the baby chicks outside in the sun pecking around in the grass and mulch and being adventurous, but never leaving each other. If one somehow got away from the others she would basically holler until she and the others found each other again. Like a little homing signal. They were so fun to watch scratching around and being scared of everything. They were basically chicken. Yeah, I said it. - Constipation can lead to cute names.
We named them, because at that time we could tell them apart. One we named Booty because she got “putty butt”. Yeah, that’s a thing. Not fun to help clean up, but put a little apple cider vinegar in their water and you are good to go. Hey, it happens to the best of us. - Chicks need protection.
When they were big enough, and their coop was finally done, they were able to be outside all the time. They were no longer small enough to be hawk meat. The chickens were outside, but still in our fenced-in backyard. We built a coop that sat on the grass and could be moved around to different areas of the yard to make sure the chickens had new piece of grass regularly and to help with fertilization. This is called a chicken truck. We would open the door first thing in the morning and in the evening right before dark put the girls back up again. In the early days, they didn’t want to go back up in the coop near dark like they do now, so herding them was a spectacle. - The eating never stops.
We spent two weekends in the spring planting our new flower beds, potted plants, and raised garden. One day I came home from work to find that those b****** ate EVERYTHING! And I mean everything. As I was looking around at all of my work undone, and chicken crap all over the place, and decided I’d had it. “They are going outside the fence today!” I declared. So out they went, and all the replanting began. The girls walked the fence for days begging to come back in and eat my baby bell peppers. Laughing in their faces wasn’t as fulfilling as I had hoped. - They're pecker heads.
Apparently chickens like shiny things. Unfortunately, the eyeball is a shiny thing. When you invite friends over and they bring their nature-loving little girl who can't wait to hold a chicken, be sure to tell her to hold it away from her face. My little dog was also a victim, and now he avoids the chickens like the plague. Luckily, both eyeballs only sustained minor injuries. - Show them whose boss.
We learned that chickens don’t respond well to, “Hey, stop that,” or “Quit it”, but if you can mimic a flying raptor it will get their attention. You don’t even need to be good at it. Just a very loud semi-crow call will send them scattering and away from your beloved plants. - Chickens don’t start laying eggs right away, but they still want treats for doing nothing.
Now that they are truly “free range” chickens they spend most of the time in my front flower beds, kicking up mulch and eating lizards. One of the chickens in particular (we call her Jess) ate a whole lizard and a field mouse before she was full grown. She’s quite the badass. I’m starting to appreciate them for roaming the yard and keeping the wasps at bay. I haven’t seen a single one since we let them outside, but have we seen an egg yet? No. I hear this takes time and patience and just letting the girls mature. In the meantime, I’m making them frozen treats of fruit. This is mainly for entertainment as there is nothing like watching chickens run after thrown blueberries down a driveway.
So here I am 4 months into being a chicken owner. I still look forward to opening the coop door and see the girls come flying out, excited to be free. If they see you with something in your hand they will come running, and they will be hyped whether it’s a bug, or a strawberry. I laugh every time I watch them just being chickens. People say you get chickens for the eggs and meat. No, you don’t. You get chickens for the entertainment. Hopefully there will be eggs soon though.
