As a woman, you’ll have friends, coworkers, family members, and acquaintances become pregnant at some point, but there are some things you should never say to a pregnant woman no matter how close you are to her. It’s okay to discuss your coworker/friend/acquaintance’s pregnancy with her, but if you say the wrong thing to her on the wrong day, you will regret it.
These women are participating in the most wonderful miracle that the body is capable of doing, and although I’m a mother of two wonderfully awful teenagers myself, I have forgotten what it’s like to be the pregnant one. It’s been a while since I was that sensitive, slightly crazy person with ever-changing body parts and emotions. Read on for things to never say to a pregnant woman, and let my experiences save your friendships.
- “You look tired, are you ok?”
You should never ask if she feels ok. She doesn’t most days, but she also doesn’t need your non-pregnant, feeling-good self to remind her. - “So, you’re still pregnant?”
You probably mean this to just say that she isn’t showing yet, but it comes out like you don’t think there’s a baby in there. She’s already worrying constantly in the beginning so don’t add to it. - “You better get all your sleep in now because when the baby gets here you will never have a chance again.”
No crap, but throwing it in her face doesn’t help. Plus, after like 5 or so years, she can start sleeping again. - “Well, you sure look pregnant today!”
No, just don’t. I know you want to let her know that she’s finally showing a baby bump, which you think she wants to hear, but it just feels like you’re calling her fat. Nice try, though. - “So are you worried you’re going to get stretch marks? Did your mom have stretch marks? If so, you’ll get them for sure.”
Well, she wasn’t worried about it until now. - “I hope you’re having drugs during your delivery because mine was awful… [Insert graphic details about your child’s birth]”
It’s nice to let first-time mothers know the things that you wish you had known, but let’s not worry her to death about the truly scary stuff. Keep the advice to diapers and formula. - “Holy crap, your feet are huge today!”
From recent experience, do not say this or you might get hurt. That’s all I’m saying on this one. - “How many babies do you have in there?”
She gets it: she’s huge! Come on, let’s not say this. And if she happens to actually have more than one in there then don’t say she looks too tiny. She’ll think her babies are underweight. This advice goes both ways. - “I can’t wait until happy hour today!”
Yeah? Well she can’t wait for happy hour in several months. Let’s not remind her she can’t drink her worries away like we can. - “How much weight have you gained so far?”
I don’t know why women ask this, other than to make ourselves feel better about how much we had gained when we were pregnant. Women can be mean to each other, but be kind to the emotional pregnant women in your life, and never ask this question.
