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a woman messages a potential match via her cell phone to set up a date

5 Tips for Sending the Perfect First Message Online

Sending that first message to your online match can be tricky. Don’t waste your time sending emails that will never produce a response. Here are some tips to help you avoid those commonly made errors that could be standing in the way of your online love life.

  1. Take The Time To Edit

    First things first, don’t send a message full of grammatical errors and misspellings! This makes it look as if you don’t really care at all. You will come across as lazy or uninterested, and your email will most likely be sent directly to the trash folder. Take the time to write a decent message, and edit it before you hit send.

  2. Read Their Profile First

    If you send a message to a potential match and ask them questions that they’ve already answered on their profile, you probably won’t get a response. If you’re actually interested, take the time to read through their profile and ask questions that you truly want to know the answers to. Show them that you’re really trying to get to know them instead of asking them something generic and redundant.

  3. Don’t Be Self-Absorbed

    Don’t talk about yourself throughout the majority of your first email. If they want to know more about you, they can click on your profile and find out. But, word to the wise, don’t open with a compliment. It’s better to talk about shared interests than to try to flatter someone you’ve never met. Make the email about the other person and show your interest. That alone should be flattery enough.

  4. Send An Actual Message

    When you send a message, don’t just say “hi” or “you’re cute.” This does nothing to provoke a response of any kind. Prove that you’ve done your research. Talk about their profile and their interests. When you send a one-liner, it looks as if you’ve merely scanned through their photos, found something you liked, and sent an uninviting attempt at making a connection.

  5. Keep It Rated PG

    And lastly, please keep your message clean. Unless you’re on a hook-up website, there is no need for a smut-filled email. It usually makes you seem creepy, and the message will never have the effect you had hoped. If you’re actually looking for a relationship, or even just a date, this is definitely not the way to get started. Remember, even though you know what you’re like and who you are, nobody online knows the real you. Make sure you put your best foot forward.

Last Updated: February 12, 2016