The end of a marriage can be devastating, but it’s important to get back out there. Haven’t you missed out on enough already? If you’re like most people and you have no idea how to get back into the dating scene, follow these dating-after-divorce do’s and don’ts.
Do Take Your Time
Cry, vent to your friends, eat a whole carton of ice cream. Do what you need to do to move on and unpack your baggage so you don’t unload it on the next person that comes along. Then take a minute to rediscover who you are and figure out what you want. This is your time.
Don’t Talk About Your EX
If you feel the need to vent about how crazy your ex was, call up a friend or a therapist. Do not, under any circumstance, tell your date about it. Nothing ruins a date faster than trash-talking an ex. Even if they ask what went wrong in your marriage, which they they will, keep your explanation short and sweet and move on. You’re starting over, so let the past be the past.
Do Have Fun
Divorce is hard; dating is not. Take this opportunity to really get to know yourself and have some fun in the process. You’re finally free to do what you want to do, so take advantage of the moment.
Don’t Come on Too Strong
It’s understandably hard to adjust from married life to single life, but it’s important to keep things light. It may be easy to jump right into another serious relationship, but it’s better to take things slowly. Take your time getting back into the dating game and try not to get too serious right away. The first, second, or third person you date after your divorce likely won’t be the person you end up with. Take the opportunity to get to know different personalities and find out what you want, more importantly, what you need, in a partner before settling down again.
Do Take Chances
Love is all about taking chances. You’re not going to meet someone by watching chick flicks with your cats or updating your social media status about how depressed you are. Get out there and do something you’ve never done before. Sign up for online dating. Take a cooking class. Do the things you enjoy and eventually you will find someone with similar interests.
Don’t Give Up Hope
Just because your marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean it won’t work out with someone else. Just remember to keep your head up and recognize your self worth. Take your time and keep in mind: it’s about the journey, not the destination.
