There are few things, people, or places that are truly as American as apple pie. Except for maybe Chuck Norris, who I’m pretty sure invented apple pie. But, in all seriousness, it’s no mystery how someone with such a simple start and epic career could become more legend than man. And that’s exactly what Norris has done.
To compliment his stern, no nonsense, larger-than-life character and on-screen acts of violence and valor, countless sayings and memes have been created to pay tribute to the myth, the man, the legend: Chuck Norris. To celebrate his 75th birthday (Yeah, no lie, he’s about to be 75 on March 10th), let’s take a look at our 10 favorite lines about the legend that is Chuck Norris.
- “Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.”
- “Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.”
- “When Chuck Norris smoked his first cigarette, the cigarette coughed.”
- “Chuck Norris leaves handprints in dry cement.”
- “When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he stays still and pushes the earth down.”
- “Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just three miles.”
- “Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.”
- “Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.”
- “Cars were invented so that humans could have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.”
- “What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too late.”
All 100% true. Happy Birthday, Chuck! Here’s to another 75 years!
(Image edited from 92147157@N07, CC)
