In the past, it was a common teaching that you should not scrape your bowl or plate clean because it could annoy other diners.
If this rule were implemented today, your ears would never again have to suffer the pain of hearing a restaurant full of people scraping their plates while you're trying to have a romantic dinner.
Children are generally taught to not talk with food in their mouths, but many people have completely let this manner slide! It’s now common to see someone take a bite of pizza, then immediately start talking about a text they received.
No text is worth showing everyone the bits of pepperoni in your teeth. It's simply disgusting!
This rule not only breeds politeness, but it could also save your life. Eating too quickly looks gross, makes a mess, ruins your digestive system, and increases your chances of choking.
If this rule were more popular, you could actually enjoy a meal instead of scarfing it down to simply quiet your growling belly.
The '90s ushered in the age of thank you cards, and technology ushered it out. An email or text will suffice today, but are your gifters really happy with that minuscule amount of gratitude?
A hand-written, "snail mailed" thank you card takes only a few minutes and can make all the difference!
You use to get glares from everyone if you didn't give up your bus seat to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant. Yet today, those people are expected to fend for themselves and suffer the entire trip.
Standing up for a while won't hurt you that much, and it will help the other person more than you could ever imagine.
"Please RSVP" means "Please let me know if you are coming or not so that I may plan accordingly." Simply ignoring an invitation leads to delays in planning, and expecting to be included last minute because you didn't RSVP isn't fun for anyone.
Just make a phone call. It doesn't take that long.
Genuine emergencies obviously come up from time to time, but it better be a really good excuse if you're going to be late to meet someone or have to cancel altogether. At the very least, the need a heads up.
But if you're bailing on plans all willy nilly like time and space have no meaning in your world, that's when you veer into bad manners territory.
Back in the day, it used to be considered rude if you checked your watch while someone was talking to you. Watches may be out of style these days, but thankfully, we've got a whole new device to help us ignore our conversation partners.
Unless you're expecting urgent bad news in the near future, keep your phone out of your hands when you're having a conversation. And maybe even try a little of this crazy thing called eye contact!
We wouldn't want to ship gossipy, nosy neighbors all the way to Siberia, but back in the day, being a gossip was a great way to eliminate your entire social circle. Gossipping was just tacky. Full stop.
These days, we have entire industries devoted to celebrity gossip, so I don't see shunning coming back in style any time soon.
This one isn't just about manners--it's just a smart way to eat. Even the most gracious of eaters drop stuff from time to time, and they're thankful to have a napkin to catch it instead of their pants.
If putting a napkin in your lap doesn't seem like enough fun, you could always make a big to-do by unfurling it with a flourish. And don't forget the judgmental stares at the dinner guests who don't have one in theirs!
You're at a party and you overhear someone in a conversation spout the most grievous factual error in human history--what do you do? Slide into the convo unannounced with a big, "AAAAACTUALLY..."?
If you have any sense of decency, you'll bite your tongue and not butt into conversations where you're not wanted. You might have tons of interesting things to say, but no one needs your unsolicited talking points.
There are so many different ways we can invade people's privacy. And they're all pretty rude.
Whether you're snooping through a medicine cabinet at a party or reading texts over your friend's shoulder, not every aspect of a person's life is an open book for you to peruse at your leisure. Plus, if you go snooping too hard, you're probably going to find something you don't want to see.
There was a time when a person was about as likely to toss some garbage out of their car as they were to murder someone in broad daylight. But those days are long gone now.
These days, it's rare to see a street that isn't full of garbage someone couldn't bother to throw away properly. We promise that, no matter where you are, there is almost certainly a trash can in your vicinity.
Good sportsmanship is important for both parties, whether you're the winner or the loser. People who obnoxiously brag about their wins are just asking for karma to knock them down a peg.
But then on the other hand, nothing is more obnoxious than someone who's currently in the pity party of the century after a loss. Winning isn't everything, but neither is losing.
You never know when someone is going to mop and vacuum, and you never know when someone is going to be a crazy person about wearing your shoes in their home. So, it's always safe to ask about the shoe situation shortly after you walk in the door.
If your host has good manners themselves, they will spare you the indignity of removing your shoes in someone else's home like you're a child. But if they say the shoes have to go, let's hope you're wearing clean socks!
Staying humble if you're filthy rich is not just about manners. It's also a very smart and important survival strategy.
You know who's getting robbed blind? The idiots that plaster their mansions and sports cars and locations all over social media. You know who doesn't? The incognito billionaire who dresses like he hasn't bought new clothes in a decade.
We're all going to disagree from time to time, but that doesn't mean every public conversation you have needs to be a confrontation. Learning to bite your tongue and just silently enjoy someone being dead wrong is one of life's finest pleasures.
Even if you strongly disagree with someone, it's not always wise to point our points of disagreement. You may find yourself with no one to talk to at all if you go down that path
This may be the ultimate of all the classic manners. Everyone from a king to a peasant knows not to put their elbows on the table.
When you eat like this, it just makes you look a little wild and slovenly. And the whole point of life is to convince people that you aren't those things, even if you are.
There is absolutely no reason to put on a dress and pearls or a suit and tie just to sit down at the dinner table--except for the pageantry. And isn't that enough?
I'm not sure if this was ever actually commonplace for people to dress up at the dinner table, but if not, it's time for us to make history ourselves.
We've all been there--you spot someone in public you don't want to talk to, but unfortunately, they see you and have other plans. It's totally normal to tell them the white lie that you didn't see them, but that doesn't make it any less rude.
For one, everyone knows you're probably lying, so what's the point? If you really can't stand not to lie, give them a quick hello and tell them you've got plans that you're late for.
Most people don't go looking to get bumped into in public, and yet it still happens because they can't look where they're going because they're glued to the phone.
Maybe give looking up instead of down a try? You'll be surprised what you'll find up there, plus you won't end up creamed by a car you didn't see coming!
Even if every New Yorker was just the perfect gentleman or lady, riding the subway would still be a nightmare. But we don't have to make confined spaces like these any worse than they already are.
If you're going to be jammed like sardines up against strangers, maybe do everyone the courtesy of taking a shower every once and a while. And giving up your seat to an old woman will always score you brownie points.
The only thing worse than guests is unexpected guests. Even if you're childhood friends, a courtesy text that you're headed over is always appreciated.
Showing up unannounced could lead to embarrassment on all sides. You never know what kind of weird things your friends get up to in the privacy of their own homes...
We've all gotten terrible presents before, and hopefully, we've all grinned and said thank you anyways. Even if it's not what you wanted, you can at least appreciate the effort.
You have no obligation to love or use whatever it is that you've gotten, but that's a conversation for another day. In the moment, just be grateful that someone out there thought of you.
Conspicuous consumption has always been a thing, but it's definitely easier than ever to prove just how much money you have and just how few manners you have through the extravagant clothing and lifestyle items you buy.
No one wants to try and carry on a conversation with someone in a solid gold baseball cap and elephant tusk high heels. Be smart and keep your money to yourself.
In 1883 Walter Houghton published American Etiquette and Rules of Politeness. And in his book, he's got one of the best rules for dealing with people: "Never speak of a man's virtues before his face or of his faults behind his back."
Most people already know that it's rude to talk badly about someone behind their back, but it's interesting that he equates it to complimenting someone to their face. Apparently, all that buttering up is unhealthy.
