14 Reasons to Skip the Rio Olympics  main image
Scroll Down To Continue

14 Reasons to Skip the Rio Olympics

1. The water is full of flesh-eating bacteria.

1. The water is full of flesh-eating bacteria.

MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) is a staph infection that starts eating away at your skin and can burrow into your body, causing infections. It's everywhere along the coast and has already infected one athlete during a test event—an athlete that is still trying to compete, by the way.

(Image via Bigstock)

2. There are human body parts on the beach.

2. There are human body parts on the beach.

Last month, human body parts that included "a foot and another unidentified body part" started washing up on the beach near the volleyball stadium. That can't be a great sign, can it? "Well, we don't know for sure what it is, but it's definitely from a person." Yikes!

(Image via Bigstock)

3. There are gunfights in the streets.

3. There are gunfights in the streets.

A drug trafficker escaped from a hospital, gun battles have killed 10 people, a bodyguard for Rio's mayor was killed in a mugging, a doctor was killed driving down the expressway, and an Australian Paralympian was mugged at gunpoint. It's basically Robocop's version of Detroit out there. 

(Image via Bigstock)

4. The city's first responders are all on strike.

4. The city's first responders are all on strike.

First responders aren't being paid, so they've gone on strike and have begun "standing at the airport with a giant sign that says 'WELCOME TO HELL' on it." Some 85,000 police and soldiers are supposed to be deployed to help out, meanwhile, the local precincts "are begging for donations of toilet paper and pens."

(Image via Bigstock)

5. Our swimmers will literally be swimming in sewage.

5. Our swimmers will literally be swimming in sewage.

You have a 99% chance of getting sick with something after drinking only three tablespoons of water in Rio. When they nabbed the Olympic bid, they said they'd build eight treatment facilities—great news for Rio's citizens, right? Except, they only got around to building one.

(Image via Bigstock)

6. We can't protect the athletes from the water.

6. We can't protect the athletes from the water.

Measures the athletes have taken to protect themselves are hilarious and pitiful. They include "showing up early to build an immunity" and "avoiding practice until the last possible second, hoping you don't get sick until after you've competed." 

(Image via Bigstock)

7. The city is a surveillance nightmare.

7. The city is a surveillance nightmare.

Somehow, Rio manages to feel like a police state, despite the lack of actual police. A massive surveillance uptick and the rapid militarization of local patrols is starting to make a lot of the locals uneasy. But hey, there's no need to feel paranoid! Brazil's national guard is threatening to join the local police on the picket line over a lack of paychecks and/or beds.

(Image via Flickr)

8. They shot the mascot.

8. They shot the mascot.

They shot an endangered Amazon jaguar named Juma. Just moments after the torch passed by, Juma slipped free of her chains and ran away. After tranquilizers didn't work, they shot her. It's sad that even her death can represent Rio.

(Image via Instagram)

9. The Zika virus is terrifying.

9. The Zika virus is terrifying.

Regardless if the risk is lower in winter, Zika is a terrifying virus. It's not too bad for the person who catches it, but effects on the fetus can be devastating. Tejay van Garderen, the first U.S. athlete to remove himself from consideration, cited his pregnant wife as the reason. Frankly, who would want to take that chance, even if it is a diminished one?

 

10. There's a massive doping scandal.

10. There's a massive doping scandal.

There's recently been a reanalysis of doping samples from the 2008 and 2012 games, and it's having massive repercussions. Russia's doping was so widespread that they're now facing the possibility of being banned completely from Olympic competition. Kenya narrowly avoided that same fate.

(Image via Bigstock)

11. Dope testing is kaput.

11. Dope testing is kaput.

This scandal is somewhat ill-timed. It turns out that the World Anti-Doping Association only issued accreditation to one lab in all of Brazil to perform drug testing for the Olympic games, and now they have revoked that accreditation. So apparently, there's nobody in Brazil who is qualified to perform the tests. 

 

12. The government is falling apart.

12. The government is falling apart.

The current president is in the middle of the impeachment process due to the economy collapsing and a massive corruption scandal. The vice president is now the interim president and has dissolved the Ministry of Culture and the Ministry of Human Rights. Plus, he's appointed the first all-white, all-male cabinet in Brazil in 37 years. Unrest is only going to get worse as outsiders flood the country.

(Image via Flickr)

13. The actual city is falling apart.

13. The actual city is falling apart.

The construction surrounding the Olympic village is shoddy at best, likely because $10 billion in funds went to five construction firms that are being investigated for price fixing and kickbacks. They're still scrambling to build the Olympic village and killed two people when a multimillion-dollar seaside bike path designed to spruce up the city's image collapsed.

(Image via Bigstock)

14. Athletes are dropping out left and right.

14. Athletes are dropping out left and right.

Of 60 golfers lined up to compete, 21 have dropped out, including the top four players in the world. It's not just golfers dropping out, but finding a complete list is tricky because they're doing it so rapidly (even Kobe Bryant). Between athletes staying home, getting sick, and getting banned for doping, it's looking like competition will be slim. 

(Image via Bigstock)