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15 Dumbest Wedding Traditions

Bouquet Tosses

If there’s one thing single people hate, it’s being called out for being single. What’s wrong with being single, anyway? Sure, there’s harmless intent, but if you have a real bouquet, chances are you want to keep it and tossing it could result with it being destroyed.

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Garter Tosses

Garter tosses are incredibly sexist. Everyone is watching as the groom digs under his bride’s dress to remove her lingerie and then flings it into a crowd of men. To make things even more awkward, the bachelor is supposed to put it on the “lucky” bachelorette who catches the bouquet? The whole tradition is pretty cringe-worthy.

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Best Man’s Toast

Most people hate speaking in public, much less in front of a room of guests that are all expecting something impressive. A best man speech's can be as nerve-wracking as giving a presentation in front of your bosses, except you have to be funny. Give the option for a speech but don't require one.

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Receiving Lines

Eventually, the bride and groom make their way to each guest at their table, so there’s no reason to have a receiving line. Worst of all, receiving lines clog up everything as everyone arrives. Allow guests to find their places and meet them after the ceremony or later in the day.

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Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

It isn’t that we’re against grooms and brides having a relaxing night before the stressful day. What we are against is the “last night of freedom” notion. Getting married isn’t supposed to be a shackle or an arrow to the knee – it isn’t the 5th century. Go out, have fun, but leave the mostly-naked women and men alone.

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Giving Away the Bride

The idea seems sweet, but it isn’t at its core. A bride isn’t an object to give away. She’s not being traded for 40 chickens. Alternatively, couples have decided to give people a choice to bless the union. Others had their parent (mother or father) walk them to the alter, hugged them, and then let them sit down. Simple and just as sweet.

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Traditional Wedding Vows

Traditional wedding vows are incredibly outdated to the point where the bride still agrees to “serve and obey” her husband. Um, excuse me? Some traditional vows go even further by “ever seeking to please” and “submit to” the husband. It’s more meaningful to write your own vows. They don’t have to be complicated. Just say how you feel.

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Gift Registries

Gifts are great, but when two adults get married, they probably have what they need. They’ll have a toaster oven, a blender, and all that other junk. Gift registries usually list odd things that they don’t have and will probably rarely use. Instead, give them what they really need – cash. Weddings are expensive, and money gives them a chance to recoup some of that cost.

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Feeding Each Other Cake

After spending an hour or more on makeup, the last thing the bride wants is to have her makeup ruined by a sticky, sweet cake. Unless the groom is going to feed her with a steady hand delicately, it’s best to skip this tradition and allow her to look fantastic the whole day.

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Choreographed First Dance

We’re a firm believer that the wedding is for the bride and groom – not the guests. It’s a party, but it’s the union of a couple for the rest of their lives. Why entertain the guests? Not to mention that training for the dance is a ton of work that could be spent elsewhere. 

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Weird Animal Involvement

Weddings are chaotic enough without adding animals to the mix – we’re talking birds, bugs, and everything else. Butterflies, birds, and any other animals shouldn’t be released after the wedding. It’s best to leave them where they belong.

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Not Seeing Each Other

First, the couple has a good history of seeing each other, or we hope so. Second, not seeing each other for 24 hours while dealing with the biggest day of their lives? That’s just a killer. Chances are, he’s seen the dress, and he’s seen his wife several times before the wedding.

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White Wedding Dresses

White is beautiful, but it can stain easily. Additionally, sometimes white isn’t a person’s color. White dresses originally meant that the bride was “pure” and a virgin when at the altar, but that isn’t anyone’s business. If you love white, go for it. Otherwise, don’t feel pressured into the whole white dress thing.

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Live Flowers

This one is dumb for one reason: it’s so expensive. Live flowers can cost hundreds and thousands of dollars depending on the size of your wedding. Then, you get to watch your money droop and die right in front of you. Once the wedding is over, what are you going to do with them? With fake flowers, you can make bouquets for your home or donate them to someone else’s wedding.

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Clinking Glasses to Kiss

Clinking glasses can be dangerous, but that’s not the worst of it. After the ceremony, the couple wants to eat their meal, but can’t because people are clinking glasses. It’s easy, so why wouldn’t guests do this? You could use plastic glasses, but some brides get creative. One placed a jar at the head table and allowed people to donate spare change to a cause for a kiss.

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