The newest “snowflake” debate cropping up on Facebook and IRL is “Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas.” Apparently, stingy Karens are complaining that some people like using a more general term to refer to the holiday season. “Happy Holidays” is inclusive for people of all religious holidays, such as Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, etc.
Plus, it is a catch-all term for non-religious celebrations, like Thanksgiving and New Years.
Unfortunately, this neutral greeting has been spun by Karens to be the newest display of liberal “snowflake” behavior. Remember when Karens were freaking out that “Xmas” can be used to refer to Christmas? Yeah, this is basically the same debate.
Nobody cares about removing “Christ” from Christmas; we simply want to be happy celebrating whatever we want to celebrate!
Karens certainly ruin the fun for random people during the holidays, but she doesn’t stop there. Karens are able to knock everybody she knows down a few pegs, even family members she claims are the “reason for the season.”
For the love of all things holy, never show up to Karen’s Christmas dinner wearing ripped jeans unless you want to be shamed into the next century.
Historically, Karens are obsessed with their own appearances, so why do they feel the need to comment on their daughter’s weight gain or Aunt Linda’s cold sore? Family should prioritize acceptance and helping everyone feel loved, especially during the holiday season.
So if the Karen in your life decides to bring up that ripped jeans are "from the devil," steer the conversation toward non-appearance-oriented topics.
Arguably worse than gossiping about their daughter’s “Freshman 15,” Karens stir up the worst conversations at the dinner table.
After just having survived a massacre at the Thanksgiving table a month prior, everyone should prepare for the worst at Christmas dinner if they have a Karen in their life.
Not only will “Happy Holidays” be up for debate, but every controversial social issue, too. Don’t worry, if you research your neighborhood Karen’s Facebook wall, you’ll find all of her sources right in one place.
Then you’ll be able to foresee Karen’s next dinner topic she wants everyone to agree with her on. Perhaps you’ll even get her to accept that everyone has basic human rights!
“No, Karen. We can’t rush shipping on your son’s AirPods special for you!” All of our favorite items are suffering from shortages right now because of the pandemic.
Strict health guidelines and labor shortages are slowing down production, cargo lanes, and shipping workers to a snail’s pace, and everyone is feeling the adverse effects.
Karen complaining in the grocery store about item shortages is a surefire way to dampen the mood during your routine shopping trips. The world doesn’t revolve around Karen, but she doesn’t know that!
Hopefully, someone will ask her for a charitable donation and she’ll be outed as a Scrooge on the spot!
Believe it or not, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, and It’s A Wonderful Life aren’t the only Christmas movies that exist.
A Karen would have you believe otherwise, so don’t be fooled. Next time she asks if watching them for the fifth time that month is okay, say no.
She won’t be happy about missing out on Donna Reed and James Stewart reciting the same dialogue from the past seven decades, but perhaps a little Christmas goofiness could cheer her up. Elf and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation are comedic classics for Christmas.
If your Karen is particularly stingy, toss a little Polar Express her way.
Christmas sweaters range from hand-knitted masterpieces to downright cheesy, especially if Karen forces the entire family to wear the same bright red sweater with white stripes from J.C. Penny for a Christmas card.
Christmas sweaters aren’t inherently cringeworthy, but matching outfits are so 20th century. And don't get us started on "ugly" sweaters.
Even the ugly Christmas sweater trend is getting out of hand; they’re only suitable for humble house parties and ironic office shindigs. Only Karens have the audacity to walk around in public wearing Rudolph-and-Frosty-the-Snowman mashup knits like she’s straight from the ‘80s.
There's nothing wrong with a simple snowflake sweater... Remember that.
Everyone loves decorating for the holidays — at least, anyone with a soul — including Karens. From wrapping garland around the banister to topping a fresh Christmas tree with a shimming gold star, something about those little Santa figurines makes the season shine a little brighter.
But Karens always have to go overboard.
Bigger isn’t necessarily better, and we wouldn’t mind Karen’s towering snowman blow-ups or blinding lights if she managed to take them down before Valentine’s Day. Christmas decorations are special because they’re appropriate one time per year.
Outside of November, December, and a week into January, the stockings need to be shoved back into the attic.
The holidays can be a wonderful time to join both sides of the family and have a joyous time exchanging gifts and establishing a foundation of love, trust, and goodwill between everyone.
But we all know that it rarely goes that smoothly when a Karen’s involved. An angry Karen should be avoided at all costs.
If Karen isn’t already moaning about her in-laws coming into town only to dirty all her nice towels and “get on her nerves,” then she’s complaining about her 30-year-old son bringing his girlfriend over to join the celebration. No, Karen, he’s not trying to replace you, and it’s kind of creepy to be so clingy around your adult son. Family is who you make it to be, not just blood.
Plus, no significant other willingly “invades” family time just to make mothers angry.
While Karen obviously thinks it’s outrageously ridiculous for her to work Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, or New Year's Day, somehow she changes her mind when she needs triple shot mocha in the morning.
Somehow she never remembers that the people making her morning coffee aren't soulless drones, but people with feelings and, more importantly, family.
Nobody should have to work on major holidays. Of course, certain industries like healthcare and various frontline jobs can’t help but stay open, Target and Starbucks are not essential businesses even when Karen screams at a customer service representative over the phone that she couldn’t get a frozen pie crust in time for dinner.
The only thing worse than waiting in mile-long lines for holiday shopping is failing to find parking before you even get to start.
This time of year, every Karen decides that parking rules don’t apply to them and can weasel their gargantuan Toyota Sequoia into two empty spots in the mall parking garage.
Sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how this works. No one except you cares that you got your annual shiny new car to parade around town in front of all the other PTA moms.
People aren’t deliberately going to try and scratch your precious baby. Just let people park! We all have families to buy an obscene amount of groceries and presents for.
After Karen stops obsessing over your subtle weight gain during Christmas dinner, she’ll promptly bring out three bottles of dessert wine to have with pie. She says she’ll just have “a glass or two,” but don’t worry, she’ll make sure to take care of the first bottle for everyone.
If you learn anything from these stories, it’s that you can never trust a Karen unless she’s slobbering wine drunk because that’s when she’s at her most vulnerable. Sure, she’ll still be a jerk, but at least it’s when all the good gossip about her coworkers comes out.
Unfortunately, it also means the family gets to awkwardly sit through another sob story about how she was dumped by “that jerk Kevin” in high school right before the senior prom.
Oh, and anything about her mothers-in-law. It’s always about mothers-in-law.
The quickest way to spot a Karen is to catch her in her natural habitat — the department store.
After she managed to take up three handicapped parking spaces that she definitely doesn’t need, she’ll scream at ANYONE and EVERYONE in her path to Bath & Body Works for a deal on three-wick candles.
Don’t even get us started about toy shopping. You haven’t seen a Karen go full beast mode until a different mom nabs the last Barbie doll from the shelf. Screaming starts, fights break out, limbs are maimed… It’s all truly horrific!
In the end, Karen always gets that Barbie doll…
One Reddit user shared their own Karen story where they encountered a Karen in fine form. A few years ago, this user was working the day before Christmas break, and, a shopper burst into the store with a designer kid’s coat that still had the security tag on it.
She didn’t steal it, but made a big scene about how the tag should’ve been removed from the get-go and rifled through her Louis bag to find the receipt “so y’all don’t try to say I’m stealing.” Sounds exactly like what a person who stile the coat would say, but we’ll let that one slide.
The worker verified her purchase through the store’s system and removed the tag. But was Karen satisfied? Of course not. She went off about how they needed “to wave the charge for the coat ($79, chump change compared to the thousand dollar earrings,) because “this store wronged [her]” for not removing the tag in the first place.
Other customers were upset that she cut in line, Karen yelled at them and threatened violence, but in the end, the manager came to diffuse the situation and she probably got a discount on the coat.
Remember what we said about matching sweaters? Yeah, those aren’t just for lounging around. Group photos are a tradition in any household, but Karen’s go especially hard when it comes to documenting her “perfect” family.
Sure, she has to scream at her husband to fix his tie and at her kids to smile for the 1,000th picture, but that’s just what families do… right?
If the family was able to wear what they were comfortable in for family pictures then this tradition wouldn’t ruin the holidays as much. It’s important to document major life events and holidays with loved ones — we’re not arguing against that. Instead, it’s problematic that Karens force their family to look perfect so that they can brag about how amazing their lives are through overpriced Christmas cards.
Next to department store Karens, restaurant Karens are the nastiest of their kind. It’s natural for customers to request special services, but Karen believes she deserves special service. If you ever serve a Karen at Chili’s on New Year’s Eve, make sure to put a lemon in her water or she won’t tip.
God forbid the bowl of chips in the middle of the table aren’t salty enough or she runs out of salsa too soon. The poor new hire will be tripping over themselves to refill her tea every five minutes.
And, whatever you do, don’t get Karen started on food shortages! As you know, that's a nasty subject on its own.
