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20 Things We Can't Wait to 'Dislike' on Facebook

It's official! Mark Zuckerberg has confirmed that Facebook is testing a "dislike" button, adding that if everything goes well, the feature could be rolled out across the social network. 

He might have the lofty idea that we’ll only use the dislike button to express our empathy for sad events, but let’s get real. The dislike button is going to be used for so much more than that. Here are the 20 things we cannot wait to dislike on our news feeds!

  1. A distant friend’s fifth pregnancy announcement. We get it. You can reproduce.
  2. Almost-naked, pregnant mirror selfies. It’s really not okay to share the overly intimate shots of your bare tummy. It’s cool you’re creating a life, but keep the half-dressed bathroom shots to yourself.
  3. “The Kardashians did [insert stupid thing].” We. Don’t. Care.
  4. Long political opinions that are riddled with typos and inaccuracies. Please, for the love all things holy, stop.
  5. Mushy exclamations about how much you love your significant other. If you feel the need to express your love, express it to the person and not the world.
  6. A gift your significant other sent you. Cool. We didn’t get flowers or cookies today, but we did get irritated by your boasting.
  7. Whatever "AMAZING" thing your baby has learned to do. Ok cool, your kid laughed. News flash: All babies learn to laugh, and sometimes it's at their parents' dislike-worthy Facebook posts.
  8. Pictures of dinner you made from prepackaged boxes. Oh you made mac & cheese and fish sticks? We were doing that at 7, and even as 7-year-olds we wouldn't have posted a picture of it on Facebook.
  9. Your highschool throwback images. Unless it’s genuinely funny, no one wants to see a zit-covered face from a million years ago.
  10. The celebrity you’re posting as your #MCM or #WCW. Do you realize that you don’t actually know these people? (And if you did, they would probably dislike your post.)
  11. Any minor life updates. “Roman is having an OK day and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.” Dislike.
  12. Car selfies. If you’re gonna take a selfie, post it on Snapchat where it can only be seen for 24 hours. (Also, if it makes you feel better, we can't dislike it on Snapchat.)
  13. Weather updates. Look, if there’s a tornado warning, we can get the latest info from the weather pros on TV.
  14. Images of cars that you own or wish you owned. You got a new car? Go drive it. You want a Ferrari? Go work for it. We'll dislike everything else.
  15. Links from "content mills" like Elite Daily, Upworthy, and Buzzfeed. We know it’s easy to get sucked down the viral rabbit hole, but we don’t admit it by sharing on social media.
  16. Pointless Timehop updates. It might be interesting to you, but the rest of us don’t really care what your roommate texted you four years ago.
  17. Pictures from the party we weren’t invited to. It’s one thing to not invite us, but it’s quite another to boast about the fabulous event we weren’t at. Dislike.
  18. Statuses containing a map location. Oh, you’re eating at some hipster pasta bar? Where’s the dislike button?
  19. Images of your perfectly put-together home. We will dislike this because, quite frankly, it is a lie. No one lives in a home that clean.
  20. Photos of what’s on the TV. Facebook isn't your personal broadcasting station, and even if it were, we'd dislike it.
Last Updated: September 15, 2015