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30 Dumbest Wedding Traditions

Bouquet Tosses

Bouquet Tosses

If there’s one thing single people hate, it’s being called out for being single. What’s wrong with being single, anyway? Sure, there’s harmless intent, but if you have a real bouquet, chances are you want to keep it, and tossing it indiscriminately in the air could result in it being destroyed.

 

On top of this, there's a belief that the person who caught the bouquet is going to be the next person to get married. That puts a ton of pressure on the person that caught the bouquet honestly, and they may feel like a failure if they don't get married next. And then maybe they rush into a marriage that ends in divorce and its all because of you. Think about that! Hmm?

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Garter Tosses

Garter Tosses

Garter tosses are incredibly sexist. Everyone is watching as the groom digs under his bride’s dress to remove her lingerie and then flings it into a crowd of men. To make things even more awkward, the bachelor is supposed to put it on the “lucky” bachelorette who catches the bouquet? The whole tradition is pretty cringe-worthy.

Do you know what would be better to throw? A tie. I mean, the ties can get pretty uncomfortable after wearing them all day and honestly you want to get that thing off as soon as possible. Plus a dude could always use another tie. You can never have too many and it's actually useful, unlike a garter.

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Best Man’s Toast

Best Man’s Toast

Most people hate speaking in public, much less in front of a room of guests that are all expecting something impressive. A best man speech can be as nerve-wracking as giving a presentation in front of your bosses, except you have to be funny. Give the option for a speech but don't require one.

The best man's toast is ultimately punishment. You are punishing your best friend by making them do it and it's not right. You are also putting yourself at risk, if their fear of public speaking is big enough, of them rejecting your request to be your best man. And then you are stuck with your brother or cousin as a best man, and then they are going to tell an embarrassing childhood story about you and you have no one to blame but yourself.

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Receiving Lines

Receiving Lines

Eventually, the bride and groom make their way to each guest at their table, so there’s no reason to have a receiving line. Worst of all, receiving lines clog up everything as everyone arrives. Allow guests to find their places and meet them after the ceremony or later in the day.

So please stop holding everyone up. Sure the wedding ceremony is nice and everything but nobody wants to be there any longer than they need to be. There's a reception afterward and that why everyone wants to be at your wedding. They want to eat, because they are hungry and they want to drink so that they can feel more comfortable socializing.

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Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

It isn’t that we’re against grooms and brides having a relaxing night before the stressful day. What we are against is the “last night of freedom” notion. Getting married isn’t supposed to be a shackle or an arrow to the knee – it isn’t the 5th century. If you are lamenting your last night alone as a bachelor or bachelorette, then perhaps you aren't quite ready to get married yet.

Go out, have fun, but leave the mostly-naked women and men alone. You don't need strippers to have a good time. You might not want to overdo it on the drinking, but you can always have a few drinks at a bar the night before. And if you want to really have fun, do something like bowling. There's plenty of ways to loosen up.

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Giving Away the Bride

Giving Away the Bride

The idea seems sweet, but it isn’t at its core. A bride isn’t an object to give away. She’s not being traded for 40 chickens. Alternatively, couples have decided to give people a choice to bless the union. Others had their parent (mother or father) walk them to the alter, hugged them, and then let them sit down. Simple and just as sweet.

Going along the same lines as this is the idea of asking the father permission to marry his daughter. Ultimately, the bride-to-be is a big girl who can make her own decisions. She doesn't need daddy's approval. Just because he's her father doesn't mean he owns her. Marriage is her choice as much as anyone else.

Traditional Wedding Vows

Traditional Wedding Vows

Traditional wedding vows are incredibly outdated to the point where the bride still agrees to “serve and obey” her husband. Um, excuse me? Some traditional vows go even further by “ever seeking to please” and “submit to” the husband. It’s more meaningful to write your own vows. They don’t have to be complicated. Just say how you feel.

Of course, if you really don't know what to say, you could always tweak the original words so that they resemble something that more accurately expresses how you feel. And who knows, maybe you will come up with something entirely original in the process -  just something to think about.

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Gift Registries

Gift Registries

Gifts are great, but when two adults get married, they probably have what they need.  Now that it's the 21st century, most couples are already living together before they get married, so they are going to have mostly what they need. They’ll have a toaster oven, a blender, and all that other junk. Gift registries usually list odd things that they don’t have and will probably rarely use. 

Instead, give them what they really need – cash. Weddings are expensive, and money gives them a chance to recoup some of that cost. cash is always appreciated and it's actually already a tradition for Italian weddings. So, there's a precedent set there. Be more like the Italians and give cash. It's easier on the gift-givers too. 

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Feeding Each Other Cake

Feeding Each Other Cake

After spending an hour or more on makeup, the last thing the bride wants is to have her makeup ruined by a sticky, sweet cake. Unless the groom is going to feed her with a steady hand delicately, it’s best to skip this tradition and allow her to look fantastic the whole day.

And I mean, it's pretty cringy.  Everyone knows you know how to eat properly. You aren't babies just because you are in love. There are definitely people in the crowd looking away or rolling their eyes at the feeding thing. Besides, you may already find yourself feeding your partner the next time they get sick or really old. So just wait for that.

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Choreographed First Dance

Choreographed First Dance

We’re a firm believer that the wedding is for the bride and groom – not the guests. It’s a party, but it’s the union of a couple for the rest of their lives. Why entertain the guests? Not to mention that training for the dance is a ton of work that could be spent elsewhere. 

Why make the wedding fake like that anyway? This is supposed to be a day you enjoy, not stress out about. I don't know about you but I'd be tripping out getting the dance perfect only for people to be laughing at me on the inside anyway. just be yourself and dance like yourself.

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Weird Animal Involvement

Weird Animal Involvement

Weddings are chaotic enough without adding animals to the mix – we’re talking birds, bugs, and everything else. Butterflies, birds, and any other animals shouldn’t be released after the wedding. It’s best to leave them where they belong.

A lot could go wrong when you add animals to a wedding. They can be a huge distraction and they can end up going to the bathroom somewhere you don't want them to at your wedding. If its a bird or something, you really would want to deal with them going on your dress or tux. Just saying.

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Not Seeing Each Other

Not Seeing Each Other

First, the couple has a good history of seeing each other, or we hope so anyway. Second, not seeing each other for 24 hours while dealing with the biggest day of their lives? That’s just a killer. Chances are, he’s seen the dress, and he’s seen his wife several times before the wedding.

The reason they say it, of course, is that seeing the bride before the wedding is supposedly bad luck. But pretty sure there have been marriages that lasted where that really wasn't an issue. This is a thing that is ultimately going to die because it's not really a concern at all. The only reason to do it, is if you have never seen each other in a dress or tux and you really like surprises.

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White Wedding Dresses

White Wedding Dresses

White can be beautiful, but it can stain easily. Some people don't own any white shirts because of this very reason. And after the wedding is over, you are going to be eating at the reception, so something is bound to spill on that dress, especially after a few drinks. So, unless you can manage, feel free to avoid white.

Additionally, sometimes white isn’t a person’s color. White dresses originally meant that the bride was “pure” and a virgin when at the altar, but that isn’t anyone’s business. If you love white, go for it. Otherwise, don’t feel pressured into the whole white dress thing. You should always feel free to express yourself at your own wedding.

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Live Flowers

Live Flowers

This one is dumb for one reason: it’s so expensive. Live flowers can cost hundreds and thousands of dollars depending on the size of your wedding. Then, you get to watch your money droop and die right in front of you. Once the wedding is over, what are you going to do with them? 

The best part about fake flowers is that they can be reused and repurposed. With fake flowers, you can make bouquets for your home or donate them to someone else’s wedding. Ultimately, fake flowers are way more practical and cheaper than real ones, and you can more easily find fake versions of the flowers you want. And if anything, when you want the smell of fresh flowers, you could do a bit of both real and fake.

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Clinking Glasses to Kiss

Clinking Glasses to Kiss

Clinking glasses can be dangerous. Your guests could end up breaking the glasses, especially once they've been liquored up and then you are left with a table full of broken glass. That is both hazardous and expensive, but that’s not even the worst of it.  It's also just plain irritating.

After the ceremony, the couple wants to eat their meal, but can’t because people are clinking glasses. It’s easy, so why wouldn’t guests do this? You could use plastic glasses, but some brides get creative. One placed a jar at the head table and allowed people to donate spare change to a cause for a kiss.

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Only Two Wedding Colors

Only Two Wedding Colors

The rule that you should limit your wedding to two basic color palettes is utter nonsense. If you love colors, this is your wedding and you should feel free to express yourself. You can display a variety of colors at your wedding that appeal to you, and your man or wife.

. Of course, you want to make sure your colors complement one another and aren't clashing, but other than that, go as colorful as you like. Choose colors that represent your personality or even seasonal colors for a seasonal-themed wedding. This is your special day and you deserve not to have some boring two-tone wedding. 

Matching Bridesmaids Dresses

Matching Bridesmaids Dresses

Bridesmaid dresses don't have to match and we really don't know how it ever became a thing. A bridesmaid isn't actually your maid. She (or he) doesn't really need to be wearing some uniform that points out that they are the bridesmaid. They are your best friend, not your servant.

So treat them like their own person and let them wear a dress they actually feel comfortable wearing because everybody is different. And even if you want them to be wearing the same style of dress, you can always choose one that is available in a variety of colors, and they can all wear the color they prefer. Alternatively, you can heave them wear a similar color but different style of dress.  Regardless, the point stands: the dresses don't need to match.

Father-Daughter First Look

Father-Daughter First Look

Probably even stranger that the bride and groom first-look rule is the father-daughter one. Like, the dad has watched his daughter grow up for her whole life, so what difference does it make what dress she's wearing. And why is there even a rule that's the same for dad as it is for the groom? Dad isn't marrying her - hopefully.

This first look is often seen as an emotional event, but why? It's not like she's going to die and dad is never going to see her again. dad isn't waving his parental rights. And again, chances are that the daughter was already living with the boyfriend before she got engaged. So the whole thing is moot. Marriage is a big deal for the people involved but for dad - he's still got his daughter.

Party Favors

Party Favors

Weddings cost enough as it is, so why throw party favors into the mix? Like most party favors, it's all a bunch of stuff that’s going to end up in the trash sooner or later. Nobody cares about souvenirs for a wedding that doesn't mean anything to them beyond the day they actually attend it. 

The party favors might be cool to them for like that day, and then it's just like stuff representing someone else's marriage, and unless you have a friend that's obsessed with you they aren't going to use whatever you give them - and it would be weird if they did. So after that point, the wedding is just going to be another number. Get over yourself!

The Bridal Chorus

The Bridal Chorus

Playing the Bridal Chorus as you walk down the aisle is one of the most prominent wedding traditions, but it's also one of the dumbest to be sure. Let's face it: it's not the best song. It's not even the top 100. Nobody is listening to the Bridal Chorus unless they are at a wedding or they are watching one in a movie

Play music that you actually want to hear! Play some sick beats! There's nothing wrong with that. There are tons of songs out there. The Bridal Chorus has only been around since 1850, so before that, people were playing other music at their weddings - believe it or not. Pick a Beatles song or an Eminem song. Nobody cares!

Matching Wedding Bands

Matching Wedding Bands

You can be in love with someone who is not exactly like and chances are, you are. There's no reason you need your wedding bands to match because you are two different people. You may have different metal preferences, stone preferences, and all that, so why wear a ring you aren't both in love with?

It's also not like there aren't millions of other people with the same wedding bands as you unless you paid for some one-of-a-kind custom band. So wearing one that matches your spouse isn't going to help people make the connection that you two are married to each other. And if you really want to match your spouse in some way, you could always get an inscription. 

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Traditionally,  a bride always has women as her bridesmaids and the groom has groomsmen that are exclusively men. It's so common, in fact, that it's been the subject of a joke in movies. But this tradition is dumb.  We live in the 21st century and a man and woman can be just friends. "Bridesmaids" and "groomsmen" should be your best friends, so gender should really have nothing to do with it.

 If you are a bride with most male friends, feel free to have a bridesman at your wedding, and if you are a guy with a girl who is your best friend, have a groomsmaid. Don't force yourself to invite people to your wedding party that aren't really your friends just accommodate some silly tradition.

Bridal Stand-Ins for Rehearsal

Bridal Stand-Ins for Rehearsal

Wedding rehearsals can be important when you really want to make your perfect day, well, perfect. Wedding rehearsals let everyone involved in the ceremony know how everything is going to play out and where they should be standing and all that. Unfortunately, the point is kind of moot when the bride isn't supposed to be 100% involved in the rehearsal.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of silly superstitions associated with them, including the one where a bride shouldn't walk down the aisle before her wedding. For those that believe in the superstition, a bridal stand-in is often selected to walk down the aisle for the bride. The bride can then watch the stand-in as the rehearsal as if she's never walked before or something.

Standing Wedding Party

Standing Wedding Party

Having your wedding party stand up with you during the ceremony is yet another ridiculous tradition.  Making the bridesmaids and groomsmen stand up with you is utterly pointless. The ceremony is ultimately for the husband and wife, not the other people in your wedding party. You aren't all getting married to each other.

And chances are everyone that would be up there has been working hard to make sure you have the best wedding possible. They have been there for you through all the stresses of the wedding, so why also make them stand up during the ceremony when they could be comfortable and sitting down?

Diamond Engagement Ring

Diamond Engagement Ring

When it comes to the engagement ring, it doesn't have to have a diamond. Sure, diamonds are nice for some people, but not everyone loves them and not everyone can afford them. If you like sapphires better, go for a sapphire engagement ring or if you don't like stones, just go for a band.

If you are picking an engagement ring for someone you love, ultimately you should know what they are going to like. Feel free to pick something that they will really love rather than what society says they should like. Diamonds only have value because people give them value. Objectively, a diamond has no greater sentimental value than any other stone.

Gift Rules

Gift Rules

If you are insisting on gifts for a wedding instead of cash, don't be afraid to ask for what you really want or need. If you have nice plates and silverware already, you don't have to get fine china just because that's what most people ask for their wedding. A set of matching towels might be cute, but all that cuteness wears off.

Get stuff that you can actually use. You also don't need to deny yourself things you need because of outrageous superstitions like the knife thing. No, gifting knives isn't going to severe the relationship, it's going to give something every couple needs to get the cooking done at the house. Thanks.

Guests Wearing White

Guests Wearing White

Guests wearing white at your wedding isn't going to hurt you any, so don't worry about that. If you are wearing white as a bride, people are still going to be looking at you at the ceremony. Nobody is going to be confused about who exactly is getting married, and if they are, why were they even invited?

And honestly, if you are worried about distractions, maybe you should be more worried about someone wearing sweatpants or jeans at your wedding because with COVID going on, people might just be tempted. And even then, most people aren't going to notice your guests. The day is about you, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Getting Married at a Church

Getting Married at a Church

You might know this already, but you don't need to get married at a church or other religious institution. People often look at marriage as if it were a totally religious ceremony but it's really not. Marriages are recognized by the government and have tax benefits and all that.  They don't just belong to religious folks. If you aren't super-religious, it doesn't really make sense to get married at a church.

Get married at a place that actually means something to you, or have a destination wedding, and go somewhere you've always wanted to go. If you love the beach, who wouldn't want to go to a beach wedding instead of an old church? The only way to make your day memorable is to have it at a memorable location.

Tossing Rice

Tossing Rice

Tossing rice at the bride and groom as they leave the wedding ceremony is preposterous. If anything, it's a huge waste of food. Moreover, though, it's just messy. The rice is said to be a symbol of prosperity and fertility, but it's really totally problematic, even leading to death...of birds anyway.

Someone has to clean all that rice up and if birds get to it first, it's not good for them. After a bird has eaten the rice, it will expand in its stomach, tearing it and potentially cause death. So, unless you despise birds, you can really do without throwing carbs at the bride and groom.

Wedding Bells

Wedding Bells

Wedding bells are another pointless tradition. You don't need to marry at a place with bells just so you can hear those bells. Traditionally, in Christianity, the bells are meant to ward off evil spirits but a lot of people don't even know that – it's just something they do.

If you love the sound of the bells, go ahead and make sure you have them, but if you don't, you really don't need to worry about it. Besides, if anyone has a migraine that day, they are never going to forgive you. Decorative bells are certainly fine though if you just want the look of them.