If there’s one thing single people hate, it’s being called out for being single. What’s wrong with being single, anyway? Sure, there’s harmless intent, but if you have a real bouquet, chances are you want to keep it, and tossing it indiscriminately in the air could result in it being destroyed.
On top of this, there's a belief that the person who caught the bouquet is going to be the next person to get married. That puts a ton of pressure on the person that caught the bouquet honestly, and they may feel like a failure if they don't get married next. And then maybe they rush into a marriage that ends in divorce and its all because of you. Think about that! Hmm?
Garter tosses are incredibly sexist. Everyone is watching as the groom digs under his bride’s dress to remove her lingerie and then flings it into a crowd of men. To make things even more awkward, the bachelor is supposed to put it on the “lucky” bachelorette who catches the bouquet? The whole tradition is pretty cringe-worthy.
Do you know what would be better to throw? A tie. I mean, the ties can get pretty uncomfortable after wearing them all day and honestly you want to get that thing off as soon as possible. Plus a dude could always use another tie. You can never have too many and it's actually useful, unlike a garter.
Best Man’s Toast
Most people hate speaking in public, much less in front of a room of guests that are all expecting something impressive. A best man speech can be as nerve-wracking as giving a presentation in front of your bosses, except you have to be funny. Give the option for a speech but don't require one.
The best man's toast is ultimately punishment. You are punishing your best friend by making them do it and it's not right. You are also putting yourself at risk, if their fear of public speaking is big enough, of them rejecting your request to be your best man. And then you are stuck with your brother or cousin as a best man, and then they are going to tell an embarrassing childhood story about you and you have no one to blame but yourself.
Eventually, the bride and groom make their way to each guest at their table, so there’s no reason to have a receiving line. Worst of all, receiving lines clog up everything as everyone arrives. Allow guests to find their places and meet them after the ceremony or later in the day.
So please stop holding everyone up. Sure the wedding ceremony is nice and everything but nobody wants to be there any longer than they need to be. There's a reception afterward and that why everyone wants to be at your wedding. They want to eat, because they are hungry and they want to drink so that they can feel more comfortable socializing.
Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties
It isn’t that we’re against grooms and brides having a relaxing night before the stressful day. What we are against is the “last night of freedom” notion. Getting married isn’t supposed to be a shackle or an arrow to the knee – it isn’t the 5th century. If you are lamenting your last night alone as a bachelor or bachelorette, then perhaps you aren't quite ready to get married yet.
Go out, have fun, but leave the mostly-naked women and men alone. You don't need strippers to have a good time. You might not want to overdo it on the drinking, but you can always have a few drinks at a bar the night before. And if you want to really have fun, do something like bowling. There's plenty of ways to loosen up.
Giving Away the Bride
The idea seems sweet, but it isn’t at its core. A bride isn’t an object to give away. She’s not being traded for 40 chickens. Alternatively, couples have decided to give people a choice to bless the union. Others had their parent (mother or father) walk them to the alter, hugged them, and then let them sit down. Simple and just as sweet.
Going along the same lines as this is the idea of asking the father permission to marry his daughter. Ultimately, the bride-to-be is a big girl who can make her own decisions. She doesn't need daddy's approval. Just because he's her father doesn't mean he owns her. Marriage is her choice as much as anyone else.
Traditional Wedding Vows
Traditional wedding vows are incredibly outdated to the point where the bride still agrees to “serve and obey” her husband. Um, excuse me? Some traditional vows go even further by “ever seeking to please” and “submit to” the husband. It’s more meaningful to write your own vows. They don’t have to be complicated. Just say how you feel.
Of course, if you really don't know what to say, you could always tweak the original words so that they resemble something that more accurately expresses how you feel. And who knows, maybe you will come up with something entirely original in the process - just something to think about.
Gifts are great, but when two adults get married, they probably have what they need. Now that it's the 21st century, most couples are already living together before they get married, so they are going to have mostly what they need. They’ll have a toaster oven, a blender, and all that other junk. Gift registries usually list odd things that they don’t have and will probably rarely use.
Instead, give them what they really need – cash. Weddings are expensive, and money gives them a chance to recoup some of that cost. cash is always appreciated and it's actually already a tradition for Italian weddings. So, there's a precedent set there. Be more like the Italians and give cash. It's easier on the gift-givers too.
Feeding Each Other Cake
After spending an hour or more on makeup, the last thing the bride wants is to have her makeup ruined by a sticky, sweet cake. Unless the groom is going to feed her with a steady hand delicately, it’s best to skip this tradition and allow her to look fantastic the whole day.
And I mean, it's pretty cringy. Everyone knows you know how to eat properly. You aren't babies just because you are in love. There are definitely people in the crowd looking away or rolling their eyes at the feeding thing. Besides, you may already find yourself feeding your partner the next time they get sick or really old. So just wait for that.
Choreographed First Dance
We’re a firm believer that the wedding is for the bride and groom – not the guests. It’s a party, but it’s the union of a couple for the rest of their lives. Why entertain the guests? Not to mention that training for the dance is a ton of work that could be spent elsewhere.
Why make the wedding fake like that anyway? This is supposed to be a day you enjoy, not stress out about. I don't know about you but I'd be tripping out getting the dance perfect only for people to be laughing at me on the inside anyway. just be yourself and dance like yourself.
Weird Animal Involvement
Weddings are chaotic enough without adding animals to the mix – we’re talking birds, bugs, and everything else. Butterflies, birds, and any other animals shouldn’t be released after the wedding. It’s best to leave them where they belong.
A lot could go wrong when you add animals to a wedding. They can be a huge distraction and they can end up going to the bathroom somewhere you don't want them to at your wedding. If its a bird or something, you really would want to deal with them going on your dress or tux. Just saying.
Not Seeing Each Other
First, the couple has a good history of seeing each other, or we hope so anyway. Second, not seeing each other for 24 hours while dealing with the biggest day of their lives? That’s just a killer. Chances are, he’s seen the dress, and he’s seen his wife several times before the wedding.
The reason they say it, of course, is that seeing the bride before the wedding is supposedly bad luck. But pretty sure there have been marriages that lasted where that really wasn't an issue. This is a thing that is ultimately going to die because it's not really a concern at all. The only reason to do it, is if you have never seen each other in a dress or tux and you really like surprises.
White Wedding Dresses
White can be beautiful, but it can stain easily. Some people don't own any white shirts because of this very reason. And after the wedding is over, you are going to be eating at the reception, so something is bound to spill on that dress, especially after a few drinks. So, unless you can manage, feel free to avoid white.
Additionally, sometimes white isn’t a person’s color. White dresses originally meant that the bride was “pure” and a virgin when at the altar, but that isn’t anyone’s business. If you love white, go for it. Otherwise, don’t feel pressured into the whole white dress thing. You should always feel free to express yourself at your own wedding.
This one is dumb for one reason: it’s so expensive. Live flowers can cost hundreds and thousands of dollars depending on the size of your wedding. Then, you get to watch your money droop and die right in front of you. Once the wedding is over, what are you going to do with them?
The best part about fake flowers is that they can be reused and repurposed. With fake flowers, you can make bouquets for your home or donate them to someone else’s wedding. Ultimately, fake flowers are way more practical and cheaper than real ones, and you can more easily find fake versions of the flowers you want. And if anything, when you want the smell of fresh flowers, you could do a bit of both real and fake.
Clinking Glasses to Kiss
Clinking glasses can be dangerous. Your guests could end up breaking the glasses, especially once they've been liquored up and then you are left with a table full of broken glass. That is both hazardous and expensive, but that’s not even the worst of it. It's also just plain irritating.
After the ceremony, the couple wants to eat their meal, but can’t because people are clinking glasses. It’s easy, so why wouldn’t guests do this? You could use plastic glasses, but some brides get creative. One placed a jar at the head table and allowed people to donate spare change to a cause for a kiss.
Only Two Wedding Colors
The rule that you should limit your wedding to two basic color palettes is utter nonsense. If you love colors, this is your wedding and you should feel free to express yourself. You can display a variety of colors at your wedding that appeal to you, and your man or wife.
. Of course, you want to make sure your colors complement one another and aren't clashing, but other than that, go as colorful as you like. Choose colors that represent your personality or even seasonal colors for a seasonal-themed wedding. This is your special day and you deserve not to have some boring two-tone wedding.
Matching Bridesmaids Dresses
Bridesmaid dresses don't have to match and we really don't know how it ever became a thing. A bridesmaid isn't actually your maid. She (or he) doesn't really need to be wearing some uniform that points out that they are the bridesmaid. They are your best friend, not your servant.
So treat them like their own person and let them wear a dress they actually feel comfortable wearing because everybody is different. And even if you want them to be wearing the same style of dress, you can always choose one that is available in a variety of colors, and they can all wear the color they prefer. Alternatively, you can heave them wear a similar color but different style of dress. Regardless, the point stands: the dresses don't need to match.
Father-Daughter First Look
Probably even stranger that the bride and groom first-look rule is the father-daughter one. Like, the dad has watched his daughter grow up for her whole life, so what difference does it make what dress she's wearing. And why is there even a rule that's the same for dad as it is for the groom? Dad isn't marrying her - hopefully.
This first look is often seen as an emotional event, but why? It's not like she's going to die and dad is never going to see her again. dad isn't waving his parental rights. And again, chances are that the daughter was already living with the boyfriend before she got engaged. So the whole thing is moot. Marriage is a big deal for the people involved but for dad - he's still got his daughter.
Weddings cost enough as it is, so why throw party favors into the mix? Like most party favors, it's all a bunch of stuff that’s going to end up in the trash sooner or later. Nobody cares about souvenirs for a wedding that doesn't mean anything to them beyond the day they actually attend it.
The party favors might be cool to them for like that day, and then it's just like stuff representing someone else's marriage, and unless you have a friend that's obsessed with you they aren't going to use whatever you give them - and it would be weird if they did. So after that point, the wedding is just going to be another number. Get over yourself!
The Bridal Chorus
Playing the Bridal Chorus as you walk down the aisle is one of the most prominent wedding traditions, but it's also one of the dumbest to be sure. Let's face it: it's not the best song. It's not even the top 100. Nobody is listening to the Bridal Chorus unless they are at a wedding or they are watching one in a movie
Play music that you actually want to hear! Play some sick beats! There's nothing wrong with that. There are tons of songs out there. The Bridal Chorus has only been around since 1850, so before that, people were playing other music at their weddings - believe it or not. Pick a Beatles song or an Eminem song. Nobody cares!
Matching Wedding Bands
You can be in love with someone who is not exactly like and chances are, you are. There's no reason you need your wedding bands to match because you are two different people. You may have different metal preferences, stone preferences, and all that, so why wear a ring you aren't both in love with?
It's also not like there aren't millions of other people with the same wedding bands as you unless you paid for some one-of-a-kind custom band. So wearing one that matches your spouse isn't going to help people make the connection that you two are married to each other. And if you really want to match your spouse in some way, you could always get an inscription.
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Traditionally, a bride always has women as her bridesmaids and the groom has groomsmen that are exclusively men. It's so common, in fact, that it's been the subject of a joke in movies. But this tradition is dumb. We live in the 21st century and a man and woman can be just friends. "Bridesmaids" and "groomsmen" should be your best friends, so gender should really have nothing to do with it.
If you are a bride with most male friends, feel free to have a bridesman at your wedding, and if you are a guy with a girl who is your best friend, have a groomsmaid. Don't force yourself to invite people to your wedding party that aren't really your friends just accommodate some silly tradition.
Bridal Stand-Ins for Rehearsal
Wedding rehearsals can be important when you really want to make your perfect day, well, perfect. Wedding rehearsals let everyone involved in the ceremony know how everything is going to play out and where they should be standing and all that. Unfortunately, the point is kind of moot when the bride isn't supposed to be 100% involved in the rehearsal.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of silly superstitions associated with them, including the one where a bride shouldn't walk down the aisle before her wedding. For those that believe in the superstition, a bridal stand-in is often selected to walk down the aisle for the bride. The bride can then watch the stand-in as the rehearsal as if she's never walked before or something.
Standing Wedding Party
Having your wedding party stand up with you during the ceremony is yet another ridiculous tradition. Making the bridesmaids and groomsmen stand up with you is utterly pointless. The ceremony is ultimately for the husband and wife, not the other people in your wedding party. You aren't all getting married to each other.
And chances are everyone that would be up there has been working hard to make sure you have the best wedding possible. They have been there for you through all the stresses of the wedding, so why also make them stand up during the ceremony when they could be comfortable and sitting down?
Diamond Engagement Ring
When it comes to the engagement ring, it doesn't have to have a diamond. Sure, diamonds are nice for some people, but not everyone loves them and not everyone can afford them. If you like sapphires better, go for a sapphire engagement ring or if you don't like stones, just go for a band.
If you are picking an engagement ring for someone you love, ultimately you should know what they are going to like. Feel free to pick something that they will really love rather than what society says they should like. Diamonds only have value because people give them value. Objectively, a diamond has no greater sentimental value than any other stone.
If you are insisting on gifts for a wedding instead of cash, don't be afraid to ask for what you really want or need. If you have nice plates and silverware already, you don't have to get fine china just because that's what most people ask for their wedding. A set of matching towels might be cute, but all that cuteness wears off.
Get stuff that you can actually use. You also don't need to deny yourself things you need because of outrageous superstitions like the knife thing. No, gifting knives isn't going to severe the relationship, it's going to give something every couple needs to get the cooking done at the house. Thanks.
Guests Wearing White
Guests wearing white at your wedding isn't going to hurt you any, so don't worry about that. If you are wearing white as a bride, people are still going to be looking at you at the ceremony. Nobody is going to be confused about who exactly is getting married, and if they are, why were they even invited?
And honestly, if you are worried about distractions, maybe you should be more worried about someone wearing sweatpants or jeans at your wedding because with COVID going on, people might just be tempted. And even then, most people aren't going to notice your guests. The day is about you, so enjoy it while it lasts.
Getting Married at a Church
You might know this already, but you don't need to get married at a church or other religious institution. People often look at marriage as if it were a totally religious ceremony but it's really not. Marriages are recognized by the government and have tax benefits and all that. They don't just belong to religious folks. If you aren't super-religious, it doesn't really make sense to get married at a church.
Get married at a place that actually means something to you, or have a destination wedding, and go somewhere you've always wanted to go. If you love the beach, who wouldn't want to go to a beach wedding instead of an old church? The only way to make your day memorable is to have it at a memorable location.
Tossing rice at the bride and groom as they leave the wedding ceremony is preposterous. If anything, it's a huge waste of food. Moreover, though, it's just messy. The rice is said to be a symbol of prosperity and fertility, but it's really totally problematic, even leading to death...of birds anyway.
Someone has to clean all that rice up and if birds get to it first, it's not good for them. After a bird has eaten the rice, it will expand in its stomach, tearing it and potentially cause death. So, unless you despise birds, you can really do without throwing carbs at the bride and groom.
Wedding bells are another pointless tradition. You don't need to marry at a place with bells just so you can hear those bells. Traditionally, in Christianity, the bells are meant to ward off evil spirits but a lot of people don't even know that – it's just something they do.
If you love the sound of the bells, go ahead and make sure you have them, but if you don't, you really don't need to worry about it. Besides, if anyone has a migraine that day, they are never going to forgive you. Decorative bells are certainly fine though if you just want the look of them.
Smashing the Cake
Wedding photographers on Reddit were once asked, “What’s the one thing a couple can do during their wedding that shows they won’t last?” Almost unequivocally they responded, “Smashing the cake in each other’s face.” If you think about it, it makes total sense. Chances are all your friends are family are there.
They’re gonna watch you get embarrassed as a spectacle. Then, the woman has spent money to get her hair and makeup done, only to end up with cake smushed in it? It’s kinda disrespectful when you get down to the nitty gritty of it. That doesn’t even touch the fact that the cake is super expensive and smushed cake goes to waste.
Pairing Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
This one is definitely for any bridesmaid or groomsman that’s been involved in a wedding, but their significant other was not. One thing that often happens is that the photographer, bride, or someone else involved in the wedding pairs the bridesmaids and groomsmen up. They are then required to act like a couple.
That can be super weird for anyone that’s already in a relationship with someone else. Overall, it’s just a weird practice – forcing two people who probably barely know each other to act like a couple? That’s gonna be a no from us, dawg. Cute pictures are one thing but forcing intimacy is another.
There are a ton of events before a wedding, so why is a bridal shower one of them? They’re usually stuffy. You eat finger sandwiches and drink a cocktail or two while the bride opens gifts. As a guest, you probably have to get another gift at the wedding – why?
As someone that’s been a guest to a ton of weddings, you can go broke buying a ton of gifts for the happy couple. Then, it’s a little awkward. We’re not talking about the fun little parties with the girls, but rather the stuffy ones that make you beg that you were elsewhere.
Stuffy “Classic” Weddings
This is probably for couples that plan the wedding their parents want. They get the classic bridal chorus while having something fancy for dinner. They dance slow and exchange their vows on queue. There are a couple of words we can use for this type of wedding. Classy could be one, but we’re thinking stuffy and boring.
Weddings are supposed to be a party, aren’t they? A celebration of two people who love each other that are getting ready to spend the rest of their lives together. It isn’t a boring, yawn-fest where guests check their watch more than they watch the actual event itself. Time to put this stuffy crap to bed.
Gifts Instead of Money
We already went over that wedding are expensive, so getting money instead of gifts would be pretty great. It could off-set the cost. There’s another problem a lot of people haven’t considered: the couple probably has everything they need. This isn’t 1950 anymore. People live together before they get married.
That means they probably don’t need another set of towels or cookware. Some couples might feel forced to throw stuff on the registry that they won’t really need like herb scissors or another paper towel holder. Instead, let’s just normalize guests giving the couple money or even Visa gift cards.
“Wedding” Increasing Costs
We wanna begin this one by saying this doesn’t go for vendors that actually use the money for their best equipment and creation time. If it takes any extra time, then an increased price is justified. However, there are plenty of people who charge extra just because you say the word “wedding.”
They might bake the same exact cake they could make on a birthday or not bother editing anything after the pictures are done. This is where looking at reviews comes in handy, because there’s no reason this kind of stuff should cost triple the normal price if there isn’t any extra work put in.
Dollar dance, money dance – whatever you call it, it’s time for it to go. Nothing makes you feel more like a sideshow attraction than to have someone toss money at you. Some of them include using safety pins to pin money to the person. One, that ruins the dress the bride spent thousands on.
Two, the last thing any bride wants near them is a bunch of people who can probably jab her with a pin. That could also stain her dress, which isn’t easy to clean. There are so many more ways to donate money and show your love for the newly wed couple. Try Cash App, Paypal, or Venmo.
As a society, we should normalize having smaller weddings. You don’t need to have 200 people there even if you love and cherish them all. That’s just plain expensive, and we all know weddings can cost thousands of dollars. Nowadays, people almost feel bad if they don’t have everyone they care about at the wedding.
Yes, we do want everyone there, but our bank account is telling us we need to limit our guest list. There’s nothing wrong with having a smaller, intimate wedding with 20 to 50 people. It’s manageable, and if something goes wrong, then it isn’t all-out chaos. Small weddings can be great for some.
Anyone that’s worked a wedding will tell you that the main focus of the day is to make sure everything is perfect – aka, to the brides’ specifications. Those same people will also tell you that it’s likely something will go wrong. Heck, a ton of things will probably go wrong, because that’s the way life is.
That doesn’t mean the day is ruined, though! Life is all about ups and downs, so why should the wedding be any different? It’s time we stop putting so much pressure on the day. That would help out everyone involved and may also create fewer bridezillas (even if they’re entertaining to read about later).
Trash the Dress
A huge trend that’s now become almost tradition is “trash the dress.” Why was this even a trend to begin with? Dresses are stupid expensive. They can be thousands of dollars, so why would you want to trash it immediately after purchasing it? Sure, the bride will have some pent-up stress, but this goes too far.
Then there’s the trash-the-dress trend that is downright dangerous. One of the most popular ways to participate in this tradition is to jump in the beach. A super fluffy dress gets heavy and can swallow a bride whole. One bride nearly drowned after she jumped in the sea in her ultra-puffy dress.
We’re all starting to understand how many of us are introverts. If your best friend isn’t into standing in the spotlight, don’t force it? Plus, some people just aren’t couth enough to talk about their friend for several minutes. It’s a skill that many people even go to college for!
Kudos to the people that can do it naturally, but there’s no reason to force a speech, even if it’s the bride and groom. Considering speeches can also be a huge source of embarrassment for those who are uncomfortable giving them, removing speeches can also decrease the risk of an issue at a wedding.
This is almost going to sound blasphemous, but some people just aren’t into cake. They just don’t really like it, so why force everyone to have a cake at their wedding? A ton of people expect you to have a cake at your wedding, and they get disappointed if you don’t, but isn’t it about the couple?
There’s been a huge shift lately for weddings to feature other desserts like cobbler, and we mean as the main dessert and not just an additional item. There was also a trend not too long ago where people chose donuts instead of a multi-tiered cake. Do whatever you want to!
Planning for Months
Depending on the wedding, it may not take months to actually plan it. For some people, they just want something simple and no-fuss. We can’t blame them for that since many people we know chose to plan their wedding on the fly in a few weeks or less. It doesn’t have to be a big to-do!
Weddings should take however long it’s supposed to take. Some women have planned their weddings long before they were even in a relationship. No judging there! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want. Sometimes weddings take years to plan while others can be accomplished in a few days.
Novelty Cake Toppers
Why on earth did this ever become a trend in the first place? The wedding toppers are kinda cliché to begin with, but the novelty ones? If you aren’t sure what we’re talking about, we mean the ones that are the woman dragging the guy or the ball and chain attached to the groom.
That isn’t how you want to start your marriage, is it? Then there are those that are related to a TV show or movie. Yeah, it can seem cutesy and fun at the time, but look years down the road – will that thing still be popular? We’re betting everyone that did Game of Thrones cake toppers feels pretty dumb about it now.
We get that you want to get people to know each other, but the fact of the matter is that some people just don’t want to. You never know who people are going to hang out with at a wedding, so you shouldn’t force two groups to meet and suddenly get along. The wedding should be just as fun for the guests as it is for the hosts.
If a guest arrives at the party and decides to meet new people, great, but it isn’t a requirement. They may meet some work buddies there and decide they want to sit with them. Seating charts also make it hard to accommodate extra guests. Yes, it is kinda rude to invite people suddenly, but it happens.
Why are themes even a tradition now? We’re sick of seeing burlap everywhere and people having weddings in barn. If it’s what they like, then fine, but a wedding doesn’t have to have a theme. This also goes for “themes” that are basically two colors used everywhere throughout the reception area.
You know what the theme of the wedding should be? Marriage. That’s what weddings are – two people deciding to spend their lives together. It isn’t a four-year-old’s birthday party that love unicorns and mermaids. Let the bride and groom do what they want without pressure to work with some sort of “theme.”
The sweetheart’s table was a good idea originally. It’s a great way for guests to see who their hosts are. It also gives the hosts a great birds-eye view of everything. You know what it also does? Separates the bride and groom from everyone else. In some circumstances, it also separates the bridesmaids and groomsmen from everyone.
Someone may not want to sit at the table with the bride and groom. Maybe they want to sit with some friends off to the side. It makes being involved with the wedding feel more like a job than actually being involved. No one involved in the wedding should feel like they’re at a job (unless they’re vendors or something).
Inviting Extended Family and Borderline Strangers
When did it become a thing that you had to invite everyone in your family? For those with a small family, this isn’t such a big deal, but larger families? Oh, boy. Having to invite all of your cousins, uncles, aunts, and all can be a serious strain on the budget. Plus, you don’t really know any of them!
Some of the people you may not have even met in your entire life, but it’s expected that you invite them to your wedding. They’re practically strangers, and you wouldn’t pull someone in off the street to invite them. We’re going to say that inviting extended family should be one of those traditions that ought to die out.
The best weddings we’ve ever been to are those that aren’t so stuffy and include fancy dinners like salmon or steak or whatever. In fact, hire a food truck! Not only does this give the guests a chance to choose what they want, it also offers much more variety.
That isn’t to say you can’t choose to have something super fancy, but no one should be expected. If anything, it feels a little out-of-character for some people to do fancy. We love taco trucks, we love pizza, and nothing is better than having a potluck for a wedding. The latter also cuts down on costs.
Why do weddings have to cost a ton of money? People talk about how they spend upwards of $250 per person with over 200 people attending! There’s no reason weddings need to cost as much as a down payment on a house! Some people even have to go into debt to afford a wedding.
While it isn’t necessary, people look at you funny if you don’t spend $20,000 on your wedding. Let’s normalize spending less for this fun day. Couples don’t need to be worried about how they’re going to pay for their matrimony on the first day of the rest of their lives.