Florida Man Bites Neighbor's Ear Off Over a Cigarette
A Florida man decided to emulate Mike Tyson when his neighbor refused to give him a cigarette. According to Boca police, the victim was missing a substantial chunk of his ear. In fact, a thin piece of cartilage is the only thing that kept the whole ear from being ripped off. The man, Alberto Felipe, was arrested on battery with a $3,000 bond.
Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Down His Pants in Shoplifting Case
A Florida man was caught on tape as he shoved a chainsaw down his pants and tried to leave the store nonchalantly. Employees chased the criminal, Anthony Ballard, who decided to ditch the chainsaw in a wooded lot. Later, he came back to fetch it, only to be spotted by the same employees, who had called the police. He was arrested on grand theft charges.
Florida City Sends Out “Zombie” Alert During Power Outage
What would you do if the zombie apocalypse happened? Lake Worth citizens were forced to think about that question when they got an alert at 1:45 a.m. that warned of a zombie alert for “Lake Worth and Terminus.” Around 7,380 people got this alert, and the police had to issue an official statement that told everyone the world wasn’t going to turn into a real-life Walking Dead episode.
Hologram-Wielding Intruders Abducted Woman, Man Claims
A Florida man claimed that intruders had kidnapped his wife with the assistance of holograms. When police arrived, he was wielding a baseball bat and declared that “the men” had used “holograms to project signals on the walls” to get him to do what they wanted and to “communicate with each other.” Since there was no criminal activity, no one was arrested. His wife was actually at his aunt’s home.
Florida Man Arrested for Smoking Pot in Maternity Ward After Delivery
Having a baby is pretty nerve-wracking, so one man decided to smoke a little pot just to get through the stress. A nurse caught the scent of it and called the police. That’s when police found the Jupiter resident smoking while his girlfriend was in labor. The father-to-be was charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.
Florida Man Charged After Asking Deputies to Test Meth’s Quality
Local law enforcement in Palatka had a hilarious call when a man complained to deputies that he may have been sold the wrong drug. Douglas Peter Kelly was arrested and charged with possession after he requested for deputies to test the quality of his meth. The law enforcement office then posted a message on their Twitter account offering to check anyone’s meth!
Plane Hits, Kills 500-Pound Alligator at Orlando Executive Airport
A flight in Orlando Executive Airport didn’t go as planned when a massive 11-foot alligator crossed the runway and jumped into the plane as it was landing. The gator died instantly. Apparently, this isn’t an uncommon occurrence. This story is from 2017, but there’s a similar incident in 2013 and 2012.
Jurors May Get an Eyeful if Defendant Shows Sex Tape in Court
No one wants to see this Florida man’s sex tape and illicit photos, but he won’t let it go. Rogerio Scotton of Fort Lauderdale was accused of operating a multimillion-dollar mail fraud, something that has nothing to do with intimacy between him and his wife, but he genuinely won't stop asking for it to be shown. We hope the jurors didn’t have to look at the tape or photos.
Drunk Man Called 911 to See if Tax Return had Come In
Everyone wants to know when their tax return will come in, and one Florida man figured 911 was the best way to find out. James Mahoney called 911 and said he was “messed up,” but wanted to check on his tax return. Deputies didn’t care that he was drunk when they charged him with making a false 911 call. He was sentenced to two days in jail and ordered to pay $450.
Naked Florida Man Runs Through Woman's Home, Tries on Clothing
Poor Sylvia Garmon was shocked one day when she found a naked man running through her home. She claims the man came through her garage door. When she discovered him, she fled to her stepson's home. Police arrived and found Joseph Vaglica trying on her clothing. After banging on windows, he decided to roll around in the grass. He was eventually captured and taken to jail.
Fire Breaks Out at Hospital After Florida Man Smoked Crack in ICU
This all happened at the North Okaloosa Medical Center. A patient somehow obtained crack cocaine and a homemade smoking device from his friend on Christmas Eve. Well, turns out the patient was on oxygen. Naturally, this caused a small fire, which damaged the linens, gown, and the face mask. What’s worse is that he also somehow obtained a loaded firearm from the same friend. Yikes!
Drunk Florida Man Brought Alligator on Beer Run
When you need a beer, you can’t leave your gator at home! A man walked into a gas station with a live, five-foot alligator. Hilariously enough, you can find footage of Robert Timothy Barr chasing someone in the gas station with the animal under his arm. He was arrested and charged with illegal possession of an alligator, illegal exhibition of dangerous wildlife, and cruelty to animals.
Florida Church Changes Sign After Message Misinterpreted
A Baptist church decided to put up a sign that read, “Forgiveness is swallowing when you want to spit.” Naturally, people began to talk about how it could be misconstrued. The church swore up and down it was an innocent mistake. Maybe it was talking about communion wine, but Baptists don’t use communion wine. Hmmm.
Florida Man Indicted in Pizza, Wings Theft
When you’re hungry, what do you do? A Florida man decided that it was best to steal pizza and wings from a delivery driver. Maximilliam Xavier Mack was promptly arrested in Palatka, Florida for armed robbery, two counts of aggravated assault, and possession of a firearm early 2014. The unfortunate delivery driver wasn’t physically harmed, thankfully.
Man Arrested for Offering Pot for Food at Store
Late 2018, police were called to a Circle K gas station to investigate illegal drug activity. When they arrived, they discovered a man was trying to “purchase” marijuana with a hot dog. The man in question, Danny DeJesus, put it in a cup and then gave it to the cashier in exchange for the food. The employee took the cup and called 911.
Ice Cream Man Attacked by Gunmen at Ocala Park
Marion County police were called when three armed men tried to rob an ice cream store. Originally, the three men attempted to pay for their pickled sausage with a counterfeit $20 bill. The ice cream man questioned the validity of the money, and they pulled out a gun. The ice cream man wrestled it away, and the men fled.
Florida Man Pokes Girlfriend in Eye After She Brings Him Wrong Birthday Breakfast
A fight ensued between a man and his girlfriend after she brought him waffles instead of pancakes on his birthday. How dare she?! Upset by his surprise, James Irving poked his girlfriend in the eye. This landed him a misdemeanor battery charge and a $5,000 bond.
(Mugshot via Local10)
Urination Incident at Thanksgiving Gathering Leads to Arrest
Thanksgiving can be rough for some families, but it was a particularly difficult time for a Florida family. While visiting his girlfriend’s family, a man was arrested after he urinated on the living room floor. Willie B. Norfolk Jr. began shouting at officers when they arrived but was soon escorted out following the urination.
Police Drive Up to Dispute Blaring Soul Music
Usually, police blast sirens when they arrive at a crime scene – not in Jacksonville. The police were called when a neighbor began berating another neighbor in a dispute over pictures uploaded to Facebook. As the police roll up, you can hear “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” blasting in place of sirens. After stopping, the music ceased, and an officer asked calmly, “What are y’all arguing about?”
Man Offered $3 and Chicken Dinner for Sex
This headline comes thanks to a prostitution sting in Seminole County. Seven men were arrested, one of whom had offered a chicken dinner and $3 in exchange for “services.” Naturally, the chicken man, Steven Torres, was arrested and charged.
Florida Man Breaks into Home, Steals Alcohol, Falls Asleep on Couch
Late one night, a Florida couple woke up to find that someone had broken into their home. The criminal left their prized possessions alone but targeted their alcohol. The man, Brettan Houldin, drank a full bottle of champagne, a whole bottle of wine, and three beers. Houldin also took off his pants, defecated throughout the house, and fell asleep on the couch. Police were called, and he was escorted to prison with some shiny new bracelets.
Florida Man Reportedly Attempts to Rob Convenience Store Armed with a Finger
Early one morning in 2018, a Lee County man attempted to rob a 7-Eleven clerk using only his finger. The man walked into the store with a red shirt covering his face. He approached the clerk with a pointed finger, demanding all the cash from the register. The clerk refused, and the man left.
Florida Man Breaks into Stranger's Garage, Makes Coffee
A Florida man was arrested in 2018 after police were called for a reported break-in. When they arrived, they found the door frame had been broken, and the criminal had made himself a good cup ‘o Joe. When the police caught up with Raymond E. Furr, the burglar, they found a pair of scissors in his front pocket and upped the charge to armed burglary, criminal mischief, and petit theft.
(Mugshot via ABC Action News)
Florida Teacher Accused of Filing False Police Report as Cover for Being Late for Work
Karter Clark, a Port Charlotte teacher, was arrested and accused of filing a false police report. The report claimed that two men were posing as deputies, driving around in an unmarked car with a gun. Once it was discovered to be false, officials claimed that the teacher called the police because he was running late for work.
Florida Store Owner: Don't Warm Urine in My Microwave
Have you ever seen a sign and wondered “what prompted that?” Well, a Florida store owner has an issue that required him to hang a sign that ordered people not to warm their urine in his microwave. Apparently, it was a major issue. People walk in off the street to warm their containers prior to a drug test.
South Florida Teacher Fired for Throwing Party in Classroom
A South Florida teacher was fired after she threw an adult surprise party for a former student in her classroom. The party was complete with candles, hats, and lollipops in the shape of a particular male organ. When parents found out, they were outraged because it happened in front of students as young as 11 years old.
Florida Politician Says Aliens Took Her on a Spaceship
Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, a Republican politician that ran for Congress, released an unusual statement about her past in 2018. She claimed that when she was seven years old, she was taken aboard a spaceship by blond extraterrestrials who resembled the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. They told her that the “center of the world’s energy is Africa” and a few other things that are pretty questionable.
Florida Man Arrested After Yelling About How Terrible Florida Is
You’re more than welcome to express how much you hate something, as long as it isn’t Florida while you’re in Florida. A man was arrested the day after Thanksgiving because he yelled in the streets at people how terrible the state is. He claimed that “Florida was an inferior state” and “every state was better.” He also told police that he would kill them if they arrested him.
Florida Man Likes to do Yard Work in the Nude
Some Florida neighbors were pretty upset at their neighbor who loved to do yard work and other chores in the nude. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much the police could do unless he crossed his property line or touched himself inappropriately. Not all neighbors were upset about it, though. One was quoted as saying, “Literally they are the nicest people you’ll ever meet. They would give you their clothes if they had them on to give them to you.”
Florida Woman High on Meth Ran Around Naked in Park
A Florida woman was arrested in St. Petersburg after she’d been running through the park in the nude. The arrest report claimed that she was “acting erratically and rubbing her hair while screaming and running between two trees.” Well, the woman was using drugs and believed a giant spider was on her. She was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.
Florida Woman Farts “Loudly,” Pulls Knife on Man
A Florida woman faced aggravated assault charges after she passed gas at a dollar store and pulled a knife on the guy who complained about it. The report says that the two got in an argument “in reference to the defendant farting loudly.” Then, the woman pulled a knife from her purse and claimed she was going to stab him in the “gut.”
Nude Florida Man Accused of Starting a Fight
A Jacksonville, Florida man was arrested in 2018 because he chased a man who was riding a bike and challenged him to a fight outside of a Chick-Fil-A. Cory Hatzi reportedly took off his clothes and began yelling at nearby people, telling them to look at his nether region. He was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting officers.
Man Running for Mayor Once Arrested for Fighting a Drag Queen with a Tiki Torch
Boyd Corbin was arrested in 2012 for donning a KKK costume, grabbing a Tiki Torch, and getting in a fight with a drag queen. The scuffle landed him in court with felony aggravated assault charges with a deadly weapon. Two years later, Corbin decided to run for mayor. Despite his past, Corbin was very confident he would win. Spoiler alert: he did not.
Florida Man Clears a Jail Courtroom by Claiming He Has Ebola
Ebola is a pretty serious illness, so when an inmate claimed he had Ebola, the judge was forced to take the whole thing very seriously. The judge had everyone clear the courtroom, and Joseph Britton, the inmate with Ebola, claimed the comment was “taken out of context.” The Sheriff’s Office later released a statement saying that they “do not believe the inmate has Ebola” but are “taking precautions.”
Truck Stolen with 36,000 Pounds of Crisco Inside
Remember those weird test questions where a guy had 30 watermelons? Well, a Florida man must have been the inspiration. In 2014, a truck carrying approximately 36,000 pounds of Crisco sticks was stolen. The truck was later found with Crisco still inside, but police didn’t measure to make sure it was the full amount. The suspect was never found.
911 Pocket Dial Leads Police to Meth Lab in Florida
Three Floridians were arrested after an accidental butt-dial to 911. Authorities overheard the three talking about an alleged drug operation and decided to investigate. After tracing the call, they arrived at the home to find a meth lab. The three suspects were charged with manufacturing meth and possession of meth with intent to sell.
Port Orange Man Punched 80-Year-Old in Restaurant
A 26-year-old Port Orange man decided it was completely fine to assault an 80-year-old man, who had asked him to stop cursing and talking about women’s privates. This all went down in an Applebee’s around 9:30 at night. Sawyer claimed that the older man was “going at him” in a “threatening manner,” but several witness statements refute this claim.
Florida Driver Calls 911 to Complain about Traffic Ticket
A Florida man, Judes Exantus, was pulled over after running a stop sign during a turn. Naturally, he denied running the stop sign and began to argue with the police officer about it. Well, while the deputy was writing up the ticket, Exantus called 911 to complain about how long it was taking the officer. The deputy admitted there was a delay, but the 911 call landed Exantus in jail for an additional charge.
Human Remains Mistaken for Mannequin Brought to Florida Landfill
Two Florida men were hired to clean out a vacant house in Tampa Bay. As they were cleaning, they found a mannequin hanging in the garage. They took it down and threw it in the trash. They also found lots of garbage and rats, which made the place awfully smelly. Well, it turns out that the mannequin was an extremely decomposed body, something that was discovered when they reached the waste dump station. The smell had been the body, but the rats and trash probably didn't help much.
Florida Man Arrested Outside Olive Garden After Eating Pasta Belligerently
If you're going to eat pasta, don't ask for money and yell at them. One Florida man got some pasta at an Olive Garden and began eating it "in an inappropriate manner" while asking patrons for money and yelling expletives at them. Police arrived to find 32-year-old Ben Padgett sitting shirtless outside of the restaurant, shoving spaghetti into his mouth with his hands. He was arrested after resisting the officers.
Elderly Man Caught Masturbating in McDonald’s Parking Lot
When you masturbate in public, you lose all right to privacy. Well, Spencer Toner decided that wasn’t the case. He was discovered in his car at a McDonald’s in Bonita Springs, looking at porn while going at himself. A deputy asked him what he was doing, and he said he was there to “get a bite to eat.” Now, he’s claiming that the deputy invaded his privacy.