Ambrosia
Defined by a mix of jet-puffed marshmallows, shredded coconut, pineapple, mandarin oranges, and topped with whipped cream, ambrosia barely qualifies as a “salad.” After a night of cooling in the freezer, the dish coagulates into a dejected, fruity mess. Despite its sweet ingredients, it’s often served among the main course of Thanksgiving and Christmas meals—rarely as a dessert and often an afterthought.
This 19th-century meal was made with seemingly luxurious ingredients, granting its name after the food of Greek gods. Once marshmallows were introduced to the recipe in the 1920s, ambrosia became a staple holiday meal. Unfortunately, the ingredients now used to make the dish are more unhealthy than they are lavish, which turns away the health-conscious millennial gaze.
Bran Cereal
One of the most boring cereals ever, bran exists to clean out our insides with its high fiber content. It can't even be combined with marshmallows to create a crispy dessert! While it ranks high on lists of healthiest cereals, things get dicey once raisins are introduced in the mix.
Popular raisin bran cereals have an extraordinarily high sugar content, sometimes surpassing that of popular children’s cereals like Lucky Charms. Not to mention gluten-free and diabetic people are advised to stay far, far away from the cereal. Containing a risky mix of high fructose corn syrup and sweeteners, Raisin Bran’s heart-healthy benefits are overshadowed by harmful ingredients.
Vienna Sausage
Just listen to these ingredients: parboiled sausage made of pork and beef encased by sheep intestine and canned in chicken broth. Excuse me? Any sentence that contains both "parboiled" and "sheep intestine" is an instant indicator that we should avoid whatever it's referring to. An unbalanced mix of sodium nitrite and saturated fat, the vienna sausage is among one of the unhealthiest foods.
Fresh from the can (which is problem number one!), vienna sausages are slimy, cold cylinders that require lots of TLC and a slimy sauce bath to become edible. Characteristic bachelor food, we can see the little wieners becoming the food the last remaining humans scavenge for during a zombie apocalypse.
Sardines
Despite their appearance, sardines are packed with heart-healthy and stroke-minimizing benefits that place them on the top of the list of superfoods. Unlike most fish, the sardine has a low mercury content, which makes it safer to eat in larger portions. Doesn't sounds that bad so far, right? Just wait.
Unfortunatley, the canned variety of sardines has a particular gag-inducing quality. From the smell to the slimy contents, if you have a weak stomach, stay far, far away! Consumers with issues regarding uric acid or salt intake should take extra time to consider if eating sardines is really the best option.
Tuna Casserole
Tuna casserole is a classic “welcome to the neighborhood!” dish that’s completely hit-or-miss. Typically made with canned and fattening ingredients, the traditional dish has rounded the corner to old-fashioned territory. Not many young people regularly enjoy a dish packed with tuna, noodles, and peas. Good luck getting your casserole dish back from next door... They'll never want to clean it, much less eat it!
The dish is now primarily a nostalgic guilty pleasure for many boomers who’ve grown used to its adverse effects. Does anyone volunteer fishy, creamy noodles as the Friday night meal of choice? We don't think so! All this to say, tossing egg noodles, fish, condensed soup, and frozen peas all into one dish should be a crime.
Artificial Sweetener
Artificial sweetener, once a revolutionary alternative to calorie-packed sugar, has garnered an infamous reputation in recent decades. Instead of asking, “What sweetener do you use?” the question has turned to, “Which sweetener is the safest to consume?” Take one look at the packaging of the nearest coffee shop's Sweet 'N Low and you'll see the words "hazardous to your health" printed in bold red English.
An abundance of research shows that minimal use of the product can help with weight loss, but a complete substitution of sugar can actually lead to a worsened diet and aversion to healthy foods. Rumors of aspartame and other artificial sweetener’s carcinogenic risk have little support, but their link to heart disease and obesity are nearly undeniable.
Bologna Sandwich
The bologna—AKA “baloney”—sandwich is a staple of the United States and Canada. The sandwich can be whipped up at a moment’s notice, granting it popularity among lazy cooks. In bologna's defense, it's a quick option for those of us who aren't actually lazy, just incredibly busy, which is why it rose to popularity in the first place. But with advancing technology and food research, there's nearly no excuse for resorting to this nasty sandwich.
Usually prepared on white bread with ketchup, mayo, or yellow mustard, the sandwich is easy enough to make for boomers to overlook its health risks. And what's with slapping cream cheese between the condensed meat and Wonder Bread? Do Boomers want to make their lives as unenjoyable as humanly possible?
SPAM
SPAM’s popularity dates back to WWII. A nearly thoughtless meal, its leftover grease was used to lubricate guns and boots for the soldiers around the world. Originating in the U.S., the canned pork skyrocketed to stardom in Hawaii. Its incredibly cheap pricing and ability to substitute more expensive meats has granted it a place on the shelf for decades.
While diving straight into a pre-cooked can of slimy spiced pork is entirely possible for someone to do, even SPAM lovers label that act as unforgivable. Sorry, there's no wiggle room with that one. Either stick to cooking the meat for your Saturday brunch or just buy some that isn’t canned.
Twinkies
Snack cakes are an entire category of gross Boomer foods to discuss, but we'll stick with the most iconic treat for now. Any Hostess product is an automatic guilty pleasure, and Twinkies top their all-star list of packaged desserts. Twinkies, with their creamy goodness filling and deep-fried, flaky crust, are an unmatched staple of sugary treats.
There’s no denying that Twinkies are unhealthy, but Boomers don’t seem to care. After shutting its doors in 2012 from bankruptcy, Hostess was bought and revived, allowing the sugary snack cake to live indefinitely in American pantries. What would Boomers do without a stash of them on hand at all times?
Brussels Sprouts
Brussels sprouts get a bad rap for being the worst vegetable, but they’re actually among some of the top superfoods. The tiny cabbage, packed with protein and fiber while low in calories, has gained its place on tables worldwide. The vegetable itself isn't the problem here, but how Boomers prefer to prepare the poor thing.
However, the popularity of Boomers choosing to boil Brussels sprouts actually leaches the vegetable of its flavor and gives off a putrid smell. Not to mention the stomach aches and gas associated with the sprout’s tough carbohydrates. It’s about time they consider the Millennial tactic of tossing them in the oven!
Creamed Corn
Whoever thought of combining the sweetness of corn with the milky residue of its pulped kernels liked corn a little too much. The corn will tend to turn an unappetizing color if cooked improperly, especially if the ingredients come from a can, so you can guarantee Boomers are producing gross creamed dishes left and right.
At least people sensitive to lactose can enjoy something “creamed” without the cramping effects of dairy. Corn is a great food roasted, boiled, on the cob, loose... What's the point of creaming it? We don't care if it taste's nice despite any evidence. The calorie count of corn mixed with cream is astronomically unhealthy.
Fish Sticks
Any form of processed fish should automatically be cause for concern. Battered, breaded, fried, and frozen fish sticks will take you by the hand then lead you down a path straight to heart disease. While the fish used in these quick meals are typically low in mercury, the breading contains harmful trans fats.
We don’t even want to think about eating the sticks undercooked, the results of which would not be pretty. And deeming this unhealthy meal a “kid’s food” is just wrong. Sure, it can look like a tasty mozzerella stick from some angles, but one bite and the disappointment when there's no cheesy center is enough for you to dump the box in the trash.
Liver
Liver is another among a list of nutritional superfoods that can help build up your immune system and strengthen your bones, hair, nails, and skin. Once again, the issue lies in how Boomers treat the food when preparing it. Sensing a trend here? With the right tools and knowledge, the grossest foods can be the best for us!
While the meat isn’t exceptionally flavorful, especially without the addition of the right seasoning or sauce, so it’s hard to see boomers as children eating the toxin-filtering organ. So why does the trend live on into the 2020s? No matter how many vitamins it contains, millennials would be hard-pressed to serve a meal with liver as the main course.
Fruit Cake
An infamous dessert of Victorian origins, the fruitcake has been the butt of jokes since the ‘60s when Johnny Carson quipped that it was “the worst Christmas gift.” Alongside the implication that the cakes were passed around the neighborhood, Carson founded the misconception that fruit cake just tasted horrible.
The dense spice cake filled with fruits and nuts has been routinely neglected and ridiculed by Millennials, for good reason, so most people don’t actually know if it’s any good. Even so, the dessert’s high density of calories and fat outnumber any health benefits it may provide, ultimately dooming its popularity.
Chicken Pot Pie
The chicken pot pie resurfaces horror-filled memories of the stop-motion film Chicken Run, and it’s never been the same since. The subpar mixture of peas, carrots, gravy, and chicken creates a soupy, unappetizing mess. Even when the flaky crust appears appetizing, the one-dimensional flavor and lumpy texture makes it entirely forgettable.
Don’t even get us started on the frozen version of this mess. We realize that growing up with certain meal can make people love them as a comfort food, but some things are better left in the past. Overall, chicken pot pie is a sad excuse for pie that has no place in the 21st-century unless you're prepared for a nasty stomach ache.
Egg Salad
Eggs alone are good. Eggs on sandwiches are great. Scrambled, fried, and sunny side up, eggs are the best breakfast companion. But eggs in a salad? You've got to be kidding. It’s not even a salad! It’s literally just eggs with a dash of mayo (knowing Boomers, it would be Miracle Whip) to drown the veggies.
The main issue with the egg salad, aside from the taste, is the unparalleled stench. Normal salads are tasty, healthy, and defined by the clean aroma of a thin dressing. Mayo, unfortunately, cancels out any of the benefits that the veggies would have. Paired with high-calorie content and saturated fats, it’s about time we switched to healthier alternatives (you know, like real salad).
Processed Cheese
Most processed cheese come in questionable brick or single slice plastic packaging, which automatically clues the buyer in on something fishy. These "cheese products" aren't really cheese at all. They just barely pass the test to be labeled as "basically cheese" on their packaging, but we know the real truth.
No cheese needs to be individually wrapped in single plastic pieces. Nothing could be more wasteful than that! Have Boomers forgotten about cheese boards or, we don't know, knives to cut up real cheese into slices? Search around the grocery store for real cheese slices that aren't suffocating in plastic. The planet is begging you.
SpaghettiOs
The classic kid’s meal SpaghettiOs looks so unappetizing in any form it comes in that it’s hard to believe its popularity. While the saucy lunch isn’t as unhealthy as you might assume given its... interesting appearance, the meal is barely less messy than the dish the canned version is trying to mimic.
Reheating the can of charmingly shaped pasta in the microwave is a valid option, but cause for increased distaste in flavor, smell, and appearance. Basically, SpaghettiOs are an shock on the five senses. Plus, the slivers of flavor that existed in the original can is surely decimated after a nuke.
Ice Milk
On first glance, “ice milk” just looks like a weird typo for ice cream. And that’s basically what it is. Ice milk is a cheaply produced spinoff of the beloved dessert. Since it’s characterized by a lower fat content, ice milk was packaged as a “low-fat” ice cream but has since disappeared from store shelves.
The comparison to ice cream is valid, but it’s clear that ice milk is the inferior variety. There's no fighting with us on that fact. With an abundance of sugar that hardly masks the low-fat milk powder used to make it, ice milk’s creamy texture is its lone redeeming factor.
Cream of Wheat
Cream of wheat is just a glorified porridge with a questionable name. And if you're so defensive about it, try and take a good picture of it the next time you make it. We're talking Instagram worthy. If that picture isn't bad enough, nothing is worse for the morning spirits than a tasteless, goopy breakfast.
To distract from the plain flavor, maple syrup or sugar can be added to the mix, or more savory additions such as cheese, butter, or salt. However, the overall health of the meal decreases once all these additives are mixed in. Is it even worth trying to eat the goop for the health benefits it at that point? Just have some oatmeal.
Grits
Like cream of wheat, grits are a mushy staple of the classic American breakfast. People must have had extremely weak teeth back in the day if everything they loved to eat was slimy, squishy, or creamed. Even worse, the mild flavoring calls for an addition of cheesy additives alongside toast and bacon, perfect for those lacking teeth to chew with.
We refuse to believe that anyone eats these plain, so the health benefits are questionable. Just admit it, grits are only enjoyable once tons of salt and butter supplement it. No amount of Cracker Barrell advertising or trips to grandpa's farm will convince Millennials that they should stick around over their nutritious avocado wheat toast.
Prunes
Prunes are dried plums that are celebrated for it's digestive benefits and used widely for its juice by those with digestive issues. While the fruit has a slew of health benefits—including natural potassium, iron, and vitamins—many Millennials can’t see past its laxative-like effects. There's no need to buy the gimmicky "slimming tea" from Instagram influencers if you have some prune juice laying around.
There’s a whole world of juices out there and prunes should stick to being grandma’s humble bellyache remedy, not the one size fits all solution to every ache, pain, or ailment. You know what? It doesn't even taste that good. The novelty and health benefits blinds you all from it's mediocre, medicinal flavor and we'll stand by that.
Lima Beans
This gross Boomer food harkens back to our discussion of the mistreated Brussels sprouts. Unfortunatley, lima beans don't get first class treatment either. Lima beans are one of the worst varieties of bean to exist even without the Boomer-style preparation. The Boomer’s go-to cooking style is boiling, which gives an unsettling texture that’s simultaneously grainy, bitter, and soft.
Don’t even get us started on the smell, which is vile at best. Throw them in with Brussels sprouts and you might as well just burn the whole house down. Here's a heads-up if you want to avoid boiling the beans: creaming them is not a better alternative. We know what you Boomers are up to.
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Biting into an oatmeal raisin cookie expecting chocolate chips is a tragedy unmatched in this universe. Everyone has had this experience and rarely anyone is happy that they tasted a crusty grape instead of chocolate. And why are these cookies all so terribly dry? The texture is reminiscent of a dog treat, but we can’t even pass the buck to our pets due to the toxicity of raisins.
We know there are some harsh defenders of the cookie out there, espeically when it comes to oatmeal. It's probably healthier than a triple-chocolate chunk cookie, but definitely unmatched in flavor. All we’ll say is this: there’s a reason these cookies are the last left on the plate at parties.
Tapioca Pudding
Does anyone even know what tapioca is? Boomers seem to enjoy it, because they voluntarily mix it with milk to make a pudding suitable for the toothless people among them, and even then it’s hard to swallow. Tapioca should be reserved to boba teas in cute bubble shapes and not much else.
While the taste of the pudding isn’t entirely disagreeable, its chunky texture kills the dish entirely. If you're going to cream something, take the extra couple of minutes to make sure everything is actually blended. Cutting corners is not an option here, people! You know what? Just add it to the list of foods we never wanted creamed and move on.
Cornbread
The South’s favorite addition for any meal, cornbread is a recipe for crumbly disaster. Popularized during the Civil War for its affordability and flexibility, Boomers today will argue endlessly over the “right” way to make cornbread. Throw in a glass of sparkling sweet tea to the mix and you have a country family reunion waiting to happen.
Cornbread doesn't taste all bad, but we have to wonder why it's so beloved. It's literally just a fluffed up side dish that typically goes ignored or, at best, half eaten when enjoying a sizeable family meal. Whether fluffy, fried, or sweet, cornbread is cornbread—nothing worth starting another civil war over.
Limburger Cheese
It’s a wonder that limburger cheese still has Boomers rooting for it given its nauseating aroma. The bacteria that causes the odor is likened to that of stinky feet. Sounds appetizing, right? This cheese is one creation that the gods would turn their backs upon as an abomination against humanity.
Fine, that was a little dramatic. But who truly likes this cheese? If Boomer stomachs aren't strong enough to digest foods in their non-pudding form, we have no clue how they bear the smell of this cheese. While Millennials will try any version of fermented tea as a “detox,” their low-smell tolerance just isn’t up for this cheesy task.
Shepherd's Pie
We're getting chicken pot pie flashbacks...Whoever thought of using ground meat as a base for pie is just plain evil. The lone ingredients of the dish—veggies, cheese, mashed potatoes, sauce, and beef—are undeniably flavourful. Yet sticking them into a broth and giving it a good mix somehow sucks out all the substance of the food.
Perhaps the individual foods of this "pie" are best left as sole dishes if we're unable to make out the ingredients of the dish upon inspection. Not everything needs to be slopped together, blended, and baked. Some things are sacred and actually taste much better when they're given special attention during the cooking process.
Cracker Barrel
As every Boomer’s go-to chain restaurant on Sunday mornings, we’re hard-pressed to find a place so dedicated to tradition as Cracker Barrel. Entering any of their stores is like taking a ride through a wormhole and transporting yourself into a dimension of cornbread, country CDs, rocking chairs, potatoes, and novelty toys.
Boomers cling to Cracker Barrel’s familiarity like they do the rest of the foods on this list, and it's easy to get used to the establishment as it can be found along the highway in over 40 U.S. states. Talk about consistency. Rocking chairs lining the walls outside and wallpaer decorated by old-America paraphernalia acts as a second home to Boomers who long for the “good ‘ole days.”
Rice Pudding
Oh, look, another pudding! We've never been so surprised -- not!The flexibility of rice pudding as an entree or dessert is intrinsically unsettling. The dish may be extrememly cheap and easy to preapare, but adding a dash of artificial sugar to something doesn’t make it a worthwhile investment or dessert.
Because Millennials are set on cutting down sugar with Whole-30 diets, they’re much more likely to reach for a flavorful smoothie bowl than another flavorless porridge. But Boomers are content on ignoring their tastebuds entirely at this point. We wouldn't be shocked if a research study came out that pointed out genetic differences of taste buds between generations.
Condensed Soup
There's nothing wrong with longing for a nice hot meal at the end of the work day, espeically during the chilly winter months. Not only is soup a top-tier comfort food because of how it produces feelings of nostalgia for the "good 'ole days," but there are countless ways of preparing the dish. Feeling like classic chicken noodle? Easy. Tomato soup with grilled cheese? Nothing to worry about!
But of course any good thing has been mutilated in some fashion by Boomer inventions. The soulless and flavorless concoction that is condensed soup drains the fun out of the whole process. Homemade soups take minutes to prepare at very little cost, so why are we still stocking our cabinets with these cans?
Meat Loaf
There are countless ways to transform plain ground beef into a hearty meal for the entire family. From taco night to chili on a Sunday afternoon to tasty burgers, there's not a lot of ways to go wrong as long as the meat is properly cooked. At least, that's usually true...
Meat loaf is exactly as it sounds, and we doubt we truly have to spell it out for you. Someone couldn't even come up with a clever name to disguise the fact that it's literally just meat slapped into a square mold. No matter how you try to season it or bury it in cheese, meat loaf will always be cheap ground beef.
Watergate Salad
Somebody needs to tell these people that just because you slap some ingredients together and mix them in a salad bowl doesn't make you a salad afficianado. Think back to dear old ambrosia, the most cursed variety of fruit salad that nobody asked for. Well, watergate salad is here to pick up where ambrosia left off.
The name came from the infamous political scandal of the same name, and we think that neither are really all that good. This goopy mint green mixture triggers a nasty gag reflex once you realize it's a combo of pistachio pudding, whipped cream topping, canned pineapple, nuts, and -- you guessed it -- the ambrosia staple that is marshmallows.
Fruit Cocktail
The fruit cocktail has a long lasting reputation as a classic addition to old recipes and potluck dinners. We think it's more of a recipe for a slimy, slightly bitter disaster. We all should know by now that soaking fruit in water turns the beautiful berries into unrecognizable, tasteless mush.
All that to say, the "fruit cocktail" is merely another cover up for Boomers mutilating the perfectly enjoyable side dish that is fruit salad. If you want to enjoy a real fruit cocktail, stock up on Angry Orchard or stick a lemon in your whiskey. Otherwise, leave the fruits alone.
Werther's Original
No other treat is more characteristic of boomers than the hard, candied caramel of Werther’s Original. Constantly tossed, passed, and traded, the treat is a token of the older generation. Even though it's probably one of the worst candies to ever exist, everyone seems to recognize the package and remember their grandmother pressuring them to take one from her crystal bowl.
Unfortunately, the hard candies are terrible for dental health. You probably saw that one coming. On top of an increased chance for gum disease if there's already a lack of dental hygiene, the prolonged dissolving process is sure to lodge that tasty sugar directly between the teeth and burrow through the enamel to form painful cavities.
Margarine
Vegetable oils and animal fats. That's all we really need to say. This so-called "butter substitute" is literally just vegetable oils and animal fats mixed together into a buttery texture and labeled things like "There's No Way This Ain't Butter!" You know what we're talking about. We're looking at you, Upfield, Co.
A basic understanding of saturated versus unsaturated fats will nominate margarine as the winner in terms of long-term heart health, but that shouldn't be the only criteria we're measuring. Because margarine tries to mimic the tasty qualities of butter, it includes incredibly damaging trans fats that contribute to an increased risk of heart disease and other chronic issues.
Canned Pasta
SpaghettiOs, a favorite among kids until this day, were invented in 1965, which probably contributes to the nostalgia factor of canned pasta products for Boomers. You would think that they would have outgrown the taste of this sad excuse for real pasta, yet here we are! More processed does not mean better!
Most of these disgusting foods have one thing in common: the mush factor. As long as something's mushy, Boomers will love it. Fortunately for the rest of us, we know that simple homemade spaghetti and meatballs knocks canned ravioli out of the water any day. Don't be mad just because it's true.
Miracle Whip
Before we jump into the slew of issues associated with Miracle Whip, we have to start with the basics. Traditional mayonnaise is a popular sauce condiment used on everything from burgers to subs, but it's notorious for its unhealthy ingredients and high fat content, which ultimately results in high cholesterol levels.
Miracle Whip was invented in the 1930s as a more affordable alternative version of the classic mayo sauce. The produce may be a lower fat and lower calorie substitute for mayo, but that doesn't count out the risk for health issues. From the inclusion of high-fructose corn syrup to the soybean oil, several health issues can arise with this "miracle" product.
Jell-O Salad
Oh, wow! We wonder what the Boomers will think up this time! Hopefully it's not another faux salad filled with marshmallows... Ha! Of course it is. They couldn't stand that their fruity, sticky salads were reserved to a loose form, so why not stick them in a gelatin mold? Sounds fun enough.
Jello salads are now considered a retro staple, but there's nothing trendy about bringing this nasty food back to the table. Listen here, it's a mix of flavored gelatin, fruit, grated carrots and veggies. Sometimes they throw in some cottage cheese, cream cheese, marshmallows, nuts, or pretzels to make things interesting. We can see how it was cool in the '60s, but lets lay off the Jell-O for a while.
Aspics
Hey! What did we say about Jell-O? There's just no winning with these people! Aspics is basically the same as Jell-O salad because it uses a gelatin base to encase ingredients that never should be paired together. This clear gelatin stuffed with everything from fish to eggs was supposed to show off your dinner in a "fancy" way, but it's plain disgusting to look at.
If anything, we never want to hear the words "savory" and "gelatin" used in the same sentence ever again. When gelatin doesn't automatically make you think of everything sweet, sugary, and nice, there's an issue. Stuffing eggs in the clear mixture might not be the absolute worst, but we draw the line at stringy fish and meat pieces.
Bud Light
Craft brewing and beer tasting has taken the world by storm in the past few years, as evidenced by all of the new Millennial beer connoisseurs walking around. You won't catch these folks with a Bud Light in hand because they have an appreciation for the finer things in life.
Because Bud Light has "light" in its name, it's automatically assumed to be better than most other cheap beers. That might be true in terms of health, but my goodness, the taste. They might as well slap "flavored with pool water" on the packaging because that's what it tastes like. On top of its flavor, most light beers are stupidly overpriced, and because it takes more drinks to get you tipsy, you're you're not really saving that many calories in the long run. Doesn't sound like it's worth the sacrifice!
Blue Cheese
Cheese should not be blue. Point blank period. There's a reason cheese is always either yellow or orange. Blue? No! Blue cheese is one of the most divisive foods out there, and we think that the line is drawn between Boomers and Millennials. Unfortunately, the appearance isn't the only disgusting part of blue cheese.
This stinky cheese is exactly that: stinky. If you're able to get past the discoloration caused by literal mold infesting the cheese, try toughing it through the smell. Also, its sharp flavor can instantly turn people away if they're used to smoother cheeses paired with lightly salted crackers. This food is truly gross.
Fat-Free Whipped Cream
Fat free this, fat free that. When did this fat-free epidemic begin? In the 1970s, the government began promoting a low-fat diet in order to prevent serious cardiac issues, such as heart disease. Because of this federal encouragement, food corporations began producing low-fat products and poured millions into advertising.
Whipped cream is only one food that suffered the blow of the fat-free culture. The process of making something fat free typically requires sucking the life out of the product. Whipped cream, usually a deliciously flavorful dessert topping, turned fat-free ensures that it's overly processed, loaded with alternative sugars and chemicals, and a flavorless shell of what it once was.
Plain Toast
There's something to be said about refusing to add on a bunch of sugary toppings to your food in favor of of enjoying the product for what it is, but plain toast shouldn't be part of that narrative. If you love the taste of plain toast and are able to reap the benefits of a jamless breakfast, more power to you. But... why?
We're not sure if we can comfortably classify plain toast as a hearty breakfast. Perhaps it's better than the British trend of pouring beans on toast, but at least there's something more going on there. If you're a fan of chomping on a crusty excuse for a heart-healthy breakfast, are you sure you have a soul at all? Cutting out all fun in your life doesn't typically solve many problems.
Wonder Bread
Show of hands for those who saw this product coming. If you know anything about Boomers, you should've expected it since the first slide. What's more "good 'ole days" than the time when people thought Wonder Bread was the epitome of bread products? Classified as one of the unhealthiest brands on the planet, Wonder Bread isn't doing you any favors.
Think back to your high school biology class. We're sure you know a little about simple and complex carbohydrates. Well, Wonder Bread is the simplest of simple carbs, meaning your body has no problem breaking it down quickly. This quick breakdown leaves you hungry, loaded with sugar, and craving for more calories.
Mrs. Dash
"From the first taste of flavor on your favorite meal, Dash brings your taste buds to life!" That's the tagline for the infamous Boomer spice that they just can't let go of. We can't deny the spicy mixture is flavorful, but there's always a risk with salt substitutes for some unwanted health problems.
Take a gander at these ingredients: onion, black pepper, parsley, celery seed, basil, bay marjoram, oregano, savory, thyme, cayenne pepper, coriander, cumin, mustard, rosemary, garlic, carrot, orange peel, tomato, lemon juisce powder, citric acid, and oil of lemon. Seems a bit overkill, if you ask us... Make sure to talk with your doctor before resorting to these salt substitutes, which can be dangerous if you suffer from kidney disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, liver disease or diabetes.
Buffets
Why has it taken us so long to realize just how disgusting buffets are? And we're not talking exclusively about the low-quality food, but the very principle of the thing. Luckily most buffets require you to grap a new plate every time you peruse the selection, but there's always someone who runs their grubby hands all over the food.
On top of the germs and bacteria breeding in the bins, food that sits out for long periods of time at the wrong temperature can be equally hazardous. Food safety experts don't recommend buffets to the masses, but if you have to go, avoid the wilted lettuce and raw seafood at all costs.
Soda
Whether you call it soda, Coke, or pop, sugary carbonated drinks are never going to be healthy. Variety soda products ranging from diet to zero calories try to trick Boomers into thinking that their soda intake is manageable, but boy have they been misled! According to the CDC, Americans have a major soda addiction.
Soda is notorious for it's insane levels of added sugars, which cause dopamine releases in your brain that stimulate pleasure centers. Thus, soda can become addictive for the sugary taste and the feeling it gives you. Unfortunately, this unhealthy habit can lead to unwanted side effects such as diabetes, weight gain, and heart disease.
Buttermints
Buttermints are a candy similar to Werther's Original in that they are constantly hid beneath the pockets of your grandpa's coat and at the bottom of your mom's purse as a "little treat" for being a good kid for the day. Kids had to grin and pretend that this candy was anywhere near tasty while silently wishing that their family would have some other candy to offer in the future.
We wouldn't be surprised if Boomers were the only people keeping the buttermint business afloat because you won't see these on the shelves of Millennial households. They're too scarred from a childhood of choking them down. They'd rather invest in artisanal chocolates than a weirdly textured combination of butter, salt, peppermint oil, and powdered sugar.
Meat Pâté
We think we've saved the best for last! Or worst, depending how you look at it. Meat pâté really isn't anything special compared to the other abominations on this list, but it's still worth discussing due to its heavy gross-out factor. Essentially just a paste stuffed with meat, this food is a Boomer specialty during special holiday cookouts.
Fortunately for them but unfortunately for the family, this dish typically goes untouched by anyone below the age of 45. There are ways to make pâté delicious when cooked by the right chef, but this pasty loaf needs special attention paid to the forcemeats stuffing it and how often it's served, otherwise be met with an overabundance of Vitamin A in your system, which can cause liver damage, brain pressure, and changes to your skin, vision, and bones.