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9 Thoughts Everyone Has While Playing 'Kim Kardashian: Hollywood'

"I would make out with Chad Dylan Parker."

Sure, he spends most of the game conspiring to ruin your career, but there’s no denying that Chad Dylan Parker is a capital-H Hottie.

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"I am a grown adult. I won't buy K-stars with real money."

Playing KKH is one thing, but paying to play is just ridiculous. Your highly developed adult brain is much too sophisticated to fall for these freemium tricks.

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"I am a grown adult. I will buy K-stars if I want to."

On second thought, maybe buying K-stars proves just how much of an adult you really are. You work hard for a paycheck, and you’re entitled to waste it as you see fit.

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"Why do these birds carry so much cash?"

Most of the birds in KKH are carrying at least five bucks at all times. It may be wrong to rob them, but what were they going to do with that cash anyways?

"These flight costs are suspiciously low. Just how safe is this airline?"

$75 for a flight from Los Angeles to Dubai? This airline is clearly cutting corners somewhere, and you sure hope it’s not in their safety inspections.

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"I wish I could bribe my social superiors into being friends with me in real life."

In the game, all you’ve got to do is toss a few K-stars their way, and boomyou’re a D-lister befriending an A-lister. However, in the real world, Rihanna won’t return your calls despite all those money orders you sent. 

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"Where can I get a restraining order against Willow Pape?"

No matter how civil you are to Willow Pape, that persistent hussie remains the thorn in your side as you rise to the top. Between her cyberbullying and real-life bullying, you’d think a judge would award you a restraining order.

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"Kim Kardashian is way nicer and more well-adjusted in this game."

In the game, Kim Kardashian is basically a saint. She’s constantly putting you in touch with the movers and shakers of the world and never asks for a thing in return. In the real world, Kim yells at her family on television for money.

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"Simon’s family should consider an assisted living facility."

Simon is supposedly a great agent, but he always seems to scatterbrained and disoriented. You suspect it’s the early stages of dementia, and you’re worried for his wellbeing.

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