Benedict Cumberbatch has become a well-known author, but sadly the emotionless characters he portrays have led the public to think he is equally dry. Well, we don't know him personally, but we imagine he has the following alter-egos. And they're nowhere close to boring.
1. Benadryl Kerplunky
Benadryl hates names that start with “R," owns a collection of every Hardy Boys novel ever written, and his guilty pleasure is macaroons.
2. Blubberwhale Crumplebutt
Occupation: Greenpeace volunteer
Mr. Crumplebutt travels to Jersey City almost every weekend, eats avocado toast for breakfast, and relishes when his plans with friends are canceled.
3. Beandip Crackerjack
Occupation: Grocery store chef
Beandip enjoys tuning guitars to make extra money, cooks vegan food when he’s at home, and finds movies with his girlfriend to be the most important bonding event of all.
4. Benky Cucumberpatch
Occupation: Urban gardener
Benky would rather vacation in Omaha than the beach, programmed Siri to call him “Mr. Mean and Green,” and takes pride in his immaculately clean refridgerator.
5. Blasphemy Chowderpants
Occupation: Ship captain
Captain Chowderpants does not allow anyone to bring limes on his ship, but he does allow lemons. He believes that Sasquatch lives in the swamp behind his uncle’s house, and all he wants is for people to understand the meaning of his tattoos.
6. Buckminster Clickityclack
Bucky (as his charges call him) wears tap shoes so people know he’s there, commonly forgets his own birthday, and gives a calculator to every child he watches to help them with school as they grow older.
7. Billiardball Coggleswort
Mr. Coggleswort refuses to buy shoes with laces, drinks rum in his coffee, and arranges the spices in his cabinet in alphabetical order.
8. Butterscotch McCrumbly
Occupation: Food critic
Sir Buterscotch McCrumbly has been growing asparagus since he was nine, drives a Lamborghini with no license plate because he likes to live on the edge, and enjoys movies starring Scarlett Johansson.
9. Brandenburg Camouflage
Occupation: Military jazz band trumpeter
Private Camouflage drinks a shot of whiskey before he meets with people, builds hummingbird feeders in his free time, and aspires to be like George Costanza.
10. Bandersnatch Curdlesnoot
Occupation: Private detective
Bandersnatch hates eating potatoes, religiously watches cooking shows, and finds true happiness in his chihuahua, Hubert. Also, don't call him detective if you value your life.