God Bless Football
Aside from baseball, there's not a sport that's more uniquely American than football...and of course, we're talking about REAL football and not that international nonsense with fancy footwork and goalies guarding nets. If someone isn't breaking a bone or getting a concussion, we Americans aren't interested in the least!
While America boasts many football fans, clearly some of us love the game (and our home team) more than others, and these fans at an Indianapolis Colts game prove just that! Could they look any more ridiculous? Nope, and that's just how we like our sports fans in the United States!
Even Pros Love the Holidays
Once again, we have another photo that combines some of the best things that are uniquely American—football and Thanksgiving. Sure, Canadians might like to claim that they celebrate the holiday too, but they just can't get the date right and they seem bizarrely averse to eating to the point of pain.
Here, we have some stars that play for the New England Patriots (including former member Tom Brady) chowing down on a post-game turkey leg. While most of us were enjoying the big Thanksgiving game from the comfort of our couches, these guys had to get creative to celebrate. That's American ingenuity for you!
All-American Burger
Is there anything better than a cookout on the Fourth of July? While many of these patriotic celebrations contain foods decked out in their best red, white, and blue, you rarely see a hamburger getting in on the fun. It's about time they let loose and showed us their true colors!
While it looks very American, something tells us that this is probably the product of some fancy Photoshop work and not the work of some super patriotic baker. And honestly, that's probably for the best. As cool as American flag bread looks, we imagine that all that dye would make it actually taste terrible!
Just Another Day in the Midwest
If you're from the Midwest or the South, you know just how deadly bad weather (especially tornadoes) can be—it's definitely something to take seriously. However, if you live in these areas, you also know what a large chunk of the year you're under the threat of severe weather. If you shut down every time a storm came, you'd never get anything done!
This is one guy who clearly got that message loud and clear. Sure, a giant twister might be wreaking havoc just down the road, that lawn isn't going to mow itself! Is there anything more American than elevating the need for a pristine lawn above your own physical safety?
Born on the 4th of July
Face painting is definitely not something that only Americans do, but it's become something of a tradition to have face painting booths at fairs, carnivals, and other festivals in the United States. And one of the most common requests you'll find at these booths is for something American-themed.
While most people might opt for something a little less over-the-top, like a single star or some red, white, and blue stripes, this kid went all in like the American patriot he really is. However, let's take a moment to think some positive thoughts for his poor parents because you know this is going to end up as a mess somehow!
Tom Hanks is an American Institution
These days, coming down with a case of COVID is nothing to alert the press about, but in March of 2020, it was a new, unique experience. And here, we have a photo that encapsulates not only that but also two VERY American things: gambling in Las Vegas and worshipping celebrities.
Like many businesses, this casino in Las Vegas was forced to shut down during the early days of the pandemic. However, instead of just alerting customers that they'll re-open when things calm down, they went with this hilarious message about shutting down until Tom Hanks is safe and sound (he had recently announced coming down with COVID).
A Doggone American
While it's no surprise that many people let their patriotism shine loud and proud, we aren't the only ones who can get in on the fun! Sometimes our four-legged friends like to show off their American pride too. And who can blame them? Animals look adorable in Uncle Sam attire.
This adorable beagle is clearly all set to celebrate the 4th of July or Flag Day or whatever patriotic occasion might be headed his way! Judging from all the clutter in the background, though, we might need to teach this little guy the proper way to display and American flag!
An All-American Meal
Americans are great at being over-the-top, and that includes when food is involved as well. There have been so many crazy culinary concoctions invented in the United States that it would be impossible to list them all. However, this one has to be one of the most delicious we've ever come up with!
Is it good for your health to eat a bacon cheeseburger that uses doughnuts as buns? Probably not, but since when has being American meant being healthy? As much as we hate to admit it, this burger looks almost too good to pass up. It's an American tradition to ruin your diet!
A Long, Patriotic Ride
Limousines aren't a uniquely American form of transportation, but we see them pop up pretty frequently in the United States. Whether you're going to prom or getting married, there's always a good reason to take a comically long car to your destination! However, some people know how to take things really over the top.
What we have here isn't just your average limo—it's a Hummer that's been stretched out to limousine proportions! We don't even want to imagine just how much gas it takes for this thing to get down the street. But there's no denying that you can't find a more American way to get from point A to point B!
These Boots Weren't Made for Walking
If there's one thing that Americans do better than anyone else in the world, it's inventing ridiculous modes of transportation. If you've got a vehicle that is unnecessarily huge and unnecessarily flashy, there's a good chance that you've got something American-made! What can we say? We love pulling focus on the road!
However, most American vehicles pale in comparison to the size and ridiculousness of this boot car—affectionately known as the "Bootmobile" by its creators, LL Bean. This thing looks like it would be an absolute nightmare to actually drive, but we're still tempted to go out for a spin in it!
Nothing More American Than a Ford
If you're looking for the pinnacle of American manufacturing, you can't do much better than a Ford truck. These vehicles have become synonymous with car culture in the United States, and they're the perfect choice, even if you don't have anything heavy to haul. But what if you're so American that you need something more?
Luckily, you have options like this! For some people, the standard floor model just won't do—they want the power of a Ford truck combined with the power of a jet engine. While it sounds like madness, we can't help but admit that this heavily-modified truck looks absolutely awesome.
I Want to Believe
The United States is a giant country, with much of our land being taken up by lush, beautiful forests. Because America can be so vast and remote, plenty of legends about mysterious cryptids have popped up over the years, with none being more famous than Bigfoot and his many regional variants.
In Florida, they have stories of the skunk ape, which is basically just a Bigfoot that smells terrible. And if you know where to look, you'll find outposts like this where you can find all sorts of campy memorabilia...and maybe even get a glimpse of the fearsome skunk ape himself! Funny, ridiculous tourist traps like these have become something of an American tradition.
A Gentle, American Breeze
The United States is no stranger to severe weather, and it's definitely no stranger to people acting like a fool when that bad weather does roll around. We don't know what it is about the American quest for the perfect idiotic photo, but it just seems to be in our nature.
This guy was clearly not going to let something as pesky and insignificant as a hurricane stop him from showing off his true patriot colors. However, we promise that Uncle Sam won't be mad at you if you just safely store your flag away the next time that life-threatening weather blows through!
The Golden Arches
Most people would say that the stars and stripes on the American flag are the most recognizable symbols of the United States, but we think you could make an argument that McDonald's golden arches are just as popular a choice for representing and encapsulating all that is America...for better or worse!
McDonald's is such a big deal in the country that you can still draw a crowd when a new one opens, despite the fact that there are thousands of them in the United States and abroad! We're not exactly sure what happens at a "McDonald's Inauguration," but it looks like there's plenty of pomp for such a "momentous" occasion.