When you find yourself caring for elderly parents, it can difficult to balance your own life with the care of your loved one. Here are five tips to get you started on the journey.
- Practice Open Communication
Don’t be afraid to discuss your parent’s wishes. Talk openly about wills, living wills, and powers of attorney so there is no confusion about who should make healthcare decisions should the parent become incapacitated. Attend doctor and therapy visits, meet providers, and learn routines. Admit your own limitations and consider the possibility of hiring someone to help should the need arise.
- Get Everyone Involved
Those who will take part in elder care should gather together and discuss its duties and responsibilities. Plans and routines that take into account the needs of the elderly parent and the needs of all who will pitch in to help should be established. Caregivers must make time for their own personal relationships so that they do not neglect their spouses and children. Definite arrangements should be made for respite care. This means that relatives and friends will schedule times when they can be available to take over the constant care so that the primary caregiver is allowed some personal time off.
- Organize Important Documents
The parent’s personal documents should be collected, organized, and filed. These might include bank records; Social Security numbers and tax records; Medicare information and insurance policies; wills, deeds, and car titles; important logins and passwords for electronic accounts; lists of assets and debts; and contact information for lawyers, bankers, accountants, insurance agents, etc. You should arrive at a plan to guarantee the parent’s financial responsibilities will be handled. In addition, the parent’s medical history should be documented so it will be available for future office calls and hospitalizations. This should include the names and contact information of doctors along with currently prescribed medications and dosages and the dates and results of recent medical procedures. If the elderly parent is uncomfortable discussing personal and financial issues, you might suggest a lawyer or financial planner to help.
- Ensure
When a decision is made about where your parent will live, make necessary remodels or repairs to accommodate his or her physical limitations. Remove obstacles which might cause a trip or a fall and install hand rails where needed. Consider creating a room or suite which will give your parent some physical space and allow him or her to be independent as long as possible.
- Exercise Consideration and Respect
Be sensitive to and forgiving of each other. Work through difficulties peacefully. Respect physical and emotional boundaries, and avoid controlling behaviors. Look for the positive and try to laugh as much as possible. Admit that living and dying are inescapable realities. Accept the challenges that are presented and look toward the future, always striving to accomplish what is best for your parent, for you, and for your family.
