ADVERTISEMENT
a young adopted girl and her mother read a book together

Adopting an Older Child

It's never too late to adopt a child. Adopting an older child, in fact, can sometimes be an easier process. While considerations for going through adoption proceedings vary from family to family, these situations are wonderful opportunities for both parent and child.

The Adoption Process

The adoption process is initiated by working with an outside agency that coordinates and prepares families and assists with legal considerations along the way. Once an agency has been selected, families will complete a home study, which is typically a series of meetings with the adoptive parents and the agency's social worker. Once it has been determined that a family is capable of caring for a child, networking begins to find your child.

Once a family and child are selected, the child's original parents will have their rights legally terminated to allow for adoption proceedings. The adoption is then approved by a judge after meetings with the child and after he or she arrives to live with the adoptive family.

Older Children

Older children offer the benefit of being able to get to know them. Since their interests and personalities are already established, it is easier to determine a successful fit in most instances. Older children can care for themselves, though their tendency for independence may sometimes be at odds with your desire for them to come to terms with a new parental figure. Adopting an older child also allows parents to often wait shorter periods of time to adopt.

Considerations

The financial aspects of adoption are among the topics of things to consider. In addition to fees pertaining to the adoption itself, other costs like medical expenses, post-adoption counseling, time-off from work, and parental preparation training must also be incorporated into such commitment. Fortunately, there are many resources available to those interested in adopting an older child, including:

  • Military Reimbursements
  • Employee Benefits
  • Tax Credits

Challenges

Bonding with an older child is a common challenge, yet like any adoption, adjusting will take time. Kids, regardless of age need to grieve the loss of their birth parents, develop trust with their new family, and test boundaries that guarantee unconditional love. Since older children have endured more, it may take them significantly longer to attach to their new parents. Understanding these challenges upfront allows adoptive parents to have realistic expectations and determine where their adoptive child stands emotionally.

Adoption Myths

Common myths about adoption are that it's easier to adopt internationally, that you have to make considerable income and own a house, or even that all children awaiting adoption require special attention. Exploring the truths about adoption can help you determine whether adopting an older child is the right decision.

Altogether, adopting an older child is extremely worthwhile. For parents, enjoying an older child means not having to change diapers or staying up throughout the night. Older children offer many advantages like being able to participate in fun and rewarding activities, demonstrating appreciation for their adoptive parents, and being able to become uniquely close because of their ability to verbally discuss and emotionally assess their feelings as opposed to younger children.

Last Updated: August 14, 2014