You have to be prepared to defend yourself (and your cart filled with retail treasures) on Black Friday. If that means turning yourself into a defensive player, so be it! You know going out on Black Friday isn't for the faint of heart and you're ready to do what you have to do.
Just remember, you're being DEFENSIVE. Just because you have your elbows up doesn't mean you're out to get anyone or start something. You're just ready to prevent that kind of thing. Everyone has a right to protect what is theirs. So keep those elbows up, and don't be afraid to use them!
Your epitaph can read, “Here lies a brave shopper who gave it all up to save a few bucks.” But that's the spirit of this holiday! You're willing to risk it all just to make sure you don't miss out on the good deals. And it's always worth it.
Looking at the throng of shouting, pushing, prodding people, it may very well seem as though you are going into battle—in a way, you kind of are. Just remember what you're here for and that you can overcome all things. You've decided these deals are worth it, and you're willing to endure it all.
The only rule of Black Friday is no line-cutting. This means there are no rules about harming people who cut in line. Those who cut are just asking for trouble—you just don't do that kind of thing. One might think they can get away with it in a big crowd, but there are plenty of others there keeping an eye out for these rule-breakers.
Chances are, you and those around you have been waiting for hours for that store to open or to be able to check out finally—it doesn't matter who the line-cutter is; they are NOT getting away with that kind of behavior. If you're taking matters into your own hands, chances are you'll receive a round of applause from those around you—they were feeling the same way.
You better hope someone comes to find you because otherwise, you’re screwed. You can be lost for weeks at a time if you lose your friends or family on Black Friday. You might even be purchased by another shopper in all the confusion. There's no telling what could happen to you if you become separated from your people.
Safety in numbers has never been so true—hold hands, tie yourselves together, wear color-coordinated outfits for crying out loud. Just don't lose sight of your group. You'll be swept away with the crowd, never to see them again. It'll be the last thing you do on this crazy, chaotic holiday.
What’s Black Friday without sorghum-thick mobs and the constant smell of body odor? The constant jostling and bumping are what makes this holiday so...authentic. Wouldn't be Black Friday without a few bumps and scrapes. Take five shallow breaths to calm yourself down. If that doesn't work, find a stopping point and take a break!
It's hard to stop in the heat of battle, but once you've checked out at one location, give yourself a chance to recenter. You don't want to show up on the news as one of those shoppers who can't handle things and has a meltdown. Save some face and give yourself some space.
The key word is "almost." When you wake up at midnight and hit the stores while it’s still dark, you have to choose your battles wisely. You may be sleep-deprived and not thinking straight—do you really want to face-off for that last item on the shelf? Or is it on to the next deal?
You can't win every battle, so it helps to go in with a plan. What are your must-haves, and what are your wants? Those must-haves are the hills you're willing to die on—it doesn't matter that you should be asleep right now; you WILL go home with that top if it's the last thing you do.
This is the inevitable question you must face while waiting in the mile-long checkout lines. Did you check the price a few weeks ago? Did they hike up the price just to discount it on Black Friday? Think.....think! Even if you are saving money, is it enough to even make a difference?
This is a sacred holiday filled with nothing but deals—you're here to save all the money. There wouldn't be so many people participating in this thing if it wasn't saving them money. No time to question prices now, or someone may swipe the deals right out of your cart. Remember, elbows up!
... but instead I’m fighting for my life over a coffee maker. All Black Friday shoppers will feel this deep sense of remorse at some point in the madness. The existential "What am I doing here? What's the point?" will float around in the brain as you're jostled around an aisle.
However, that item you wanted will suddenly catch your eye, and you'll remember why you were here in the first place—your true purpose. Your Black Friday spirit will be refreshed, and you'll forget about the serenity you're missing out on at home. Forget the turkey sandwich, winner takes all, baby!
Like when you take a plane, you must always know where the exits are and how you will get to them in the event of an emergency. Otherwise, you may be trampled by the herd. It may sound silly to make an exit plan for your favorite department store, but it's actually the smart thing to do.
If you get overwhelmed or have an emergency, you need to know the quickest, easiest way out of the store. Whether that's a route, a defensive maneuver, or something a little bolder, make sure you have a plan. Because sometimes, you just have to get the heck out of a place!
Say hello to buyer’s remorse while you get acquainted with your swollen feet and new bruises. As you look over your multiple mountains of bags and receipts, you might be doing some quick math. How much would you have needed to save to make your aches and pains worth it?
You might even think to yourself you won't be doing that again next year. You'll try online shopping or have someone pick something up for you. But we all know that when Black Friday rolls around again, you won't be able to help yourself from lining up at midnight to snatch that item right before another shopper. It's the thrill of it!
