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30 Pumpkin Spice Products No One Asked For

Spam

Spam

This is a 2019 concoction, but we don’t get why. Even worse, it sold out in less than seven hours. Who bought all the Spam? Did they buy it to burn it? We hope so.

{ (Image via Spam) }

Hummus

Hummus

When we eat hummus—the garlicky chickpea mash—we can’t help but wonder what it would be like with pumpkin spice. Actually, no. We’ve never thought that because it’s a disgusting combination.

{ (Image via Walmart) }

Poo-Pourri

Poo-Pourri

That’s exactly what we want our bathrooms to smell like—poop and pumpkin spice. It has high ratings, but that doesn’t mean we think it deserves to exist.

{ (Image via Poo-Pourri) }

Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter

Okay, hold up with this one. It really could be good, but that doesn’t mean it was necessary. With Nutella being so popular, it was only a matter of time before the pumpkin spice people got a little of their spice in our peanut butter.  

{ (Image via ILovePeanutbutter) }

Hot Sauce

Hot Sauce

It takes a lot to make a delicious hot sauce. That’s something aficionados know too well. Aficionados also know that adding pumpkin spice to it would ruin your mixture.

{ (Image via Dog Gone Sauce) }

CBD Oil

CBD Oil

Guess you can’t hate on something when you’re so relaxed and anxiety-free. Actually, wait. Yes, you can. CBD already tastes horrible, so don’t add pumpkin spice to it to try and mask the flavor.

{ (Image via Diamond CBD) }

Peeps

Peeps

Pumpkin spice Peeps? No. They’re gross. Regular Peeps? Just as bad. Let’s just get rid of all marshmallow-shaped birds, altogether.  

{ (Image via Amazon) }

Popcorn

Popcorn

Most people don’t want sweet popcorn. The only exception is the caramel popcorn, but we all know that it’s the last one eaten from the trio-tin. Pumpkin spice popcorn? The last popcorn eaten on Earth.

{ (Image via Target) }

Water

Water

We saw this one coming from a mile away. Some sparkling water is delicious, but pumpkin spice water isn’t. Don’t bother trying it.

{ (Image via Pinterest) }

Pringles

Pringles

Usually, we’re on board with new Pringles flavors, but pumpkin pie spice? Stop. Get some help, Pringles. Thankfully, it was limited time only, so we only had to suffer for a little bit.

{ (Image via Amazon) }

Sparkling Juice

Sparkling Juice

We’ve personally tried this one, and we’ll say this: it is neither refreshing nor good. It’s terrible, and honestly, it’s our fault for having tasted it in the first place.

{ (Image via Walmart) }

Protein Powder

Protein Powder

Not gonna lie, this one could be good. The only problem is that we can’t imagine how you would use it with fruit or any kind of other food. It strictly makes fraps—protein fraps.

{ (Image via Walmart) }

M&Ms

M&Ms

We all saw this one coming, and no one asked for it. Worse yet, they’re disgusting. Not only did M&Ms make pumpkin spice white chocolate, but they also made pumpkin spice latte. When in doubt, double down!

{ (Image via Target) }

Bone Broth

Bone Broth

Thanks to keto, bone broth has become pretty trendy. Let’s combine two trends in one! Beef bone broth plus pumpkin spice has to be good, right? Right?  

{ (Image via NHC) }

Dog Cologne

Dog Cologne

Don’t douse your dog in pumpkin spice cologne. For those that do, the ASPCA is already on their way. Dogs are a gift from Heaven and to hurt them in such a way is inexplicable.  

{ (Image via Espree) }

Tortilla Chips

Tortilla Chips

Trader Joe’s! What are you doing? Get these pumpkin tortilla chips out of here. Apparently, they’re made with real pumpkin puree and pumpkin seeds. Exactly what you need for your pumpkin salsa.

{ (Image via Amazon) }

Salmon

Salmon

There are so many recipes for salmon, so there’s no reason to create this abomination. We guess this is for those that want to serve a “delicious meal” with their PSL. Fish and coffee always go together (sarcasm)!

{ (Image via Reddit) }

Dish Soap

Dish Soap

Don’t clean your dishes with pumpkin spice dish soap. There are plenty of other options on the market that actually smell like clean dishes.

{ (Image via HEB) }

Multi-Surface Cleaner

Multi-Surface Cleaner

Pumpkin spice hand soaps were a novelty when they came out, but now there’s a whole line of cleaners. Correct us if we’re wrong, but pumpkin spice isn’t the scent of clean.

{ (Image via Amazon) }

Dog Treats

Dog Treats

The poor dogs have to suffer through pumpkin spice treats. We’re about to rip off a scary Band-Aid so be ready: dogs don’t like pumpkin spice.  

{ (Image via Chewy) }

Gum

Gum

Let’s drop a truth-bomb real quick. Most flavored gums don’t make your breath smell better. They taste good, but that’s about it. Pumpkin spice gum is going to do the same, except the taste good part won’t even be there.

{ (Image via Amazon) }

Marshmallows

Marshmallows

Alright, alright. Maybe dropping a few pumpkin spice marshmallows into some hot chocolate sounds pretty dang good. Eating them any other time? Not so much.

{ (Image via Campfire Marshmallows) }

Fish Bait

Fish Bait

Pumpkin spice fish bait? For fish that want to get a little taste of fall, we guess. In all honesty, this would probably just chase the fish away.

{ (Image via Walmart) }

Salsa

Salsa

Salsa is perfect on its own, so the addition of pumpkin is absolutely unnecessary. Furthermore, salsa is zesty while pumpkin…is not.

{ (Image via Hot Sauce) }

Kombucha

Kombucha

Kombucha tastes like it’s trying to be the new O’Doul’s, so it’s already not that great. On top of that, some companies have tried to be trendy by adding pumpkin spice in their fermented tea.

{ (Image via Pinterest) }

Kale Chips

Kale Chips

Kale chips are pretty nasty to begin with, so why bother trying to improve on garbage? Also, if you’re going to try and improve on it, don’t hop on that pumpkin spice train.

{ (Image via Pinterest) }

Sauce

Sauce

Instead of perfectly delicious spaghetti with marinara sauce, add some pumpkin sauce to your noodles! You read that right, but we’re also hoping you read the sarcasm in it, too.

{ (Image via Williams-Sonoma) }

Chicken Sausage

Chicken Sausage

Chicken sausage is already kinda gross. Chicken isn’t meant to be a sausage. To make matters worse, some companies have put pumpkin spice in it. Yeah, that’s the last thing we want in our sausage—chicken and pumpkin spice.  

{ (Image via Pinterest) }

Cigarellos

Cigarellos

There’s no reason these should exist. Anyone that actually uses this product isn’t seeking out a pumpkin spice version.

{ (Image via Twitter) }

Milk

Milk

The only possible reason we could see pumpkin spice milk existing is to be poured into coffee. Anything else? No. Drinking it plain would be disgusting, and you couldn’t use it in hardly anything. Get outta here!

{ (Image via Walmart) }