Shot glasses can be the tackiest item you own if you're not selective about which ones are allowed to take up precious cabinet space. Certain glasses are fun to bring out during friendly get-togethers, but others are just plain embarrassing. If your souvenir shot glasses are linked to a trip that makes you fondly look back in time, then keep it. There's nothing wrong with a bit of nostalgia.
However, if they don’t spark a fun memory, then it's time to give them to someone else. They’re probably collecting dust on a shelf anyway. Shot glasses shaped like women you picked up from the local gas station? Yeah, get rid of it. Shot glasses your college roommate made for you? Keep it.
This is an easy one. We’re not going to beat around the bush. Bras that don’t fit our way are too painful to justify holding on to. Not even for weird nostalgic reasons. Yes, we're serious. Not only can the underwire possibly poke into your skin, and it’s usually the only thing on your mind when you make the mistake of grabbing it in the morning.
By 40, you should have at least three bras that fit you comfortably. And let's just say that the girls at Victoria's Secret are definitely getting your cup size wrong. How can they possibly know that you're a 36C if they're already measuring your bust on top of your clothes? You should go ahead and trust yourself with this one.
If you’re not a green thumb, accept it. Even the best of us can’t keep a plant alive if our lives depended on it. That doesn’t mean that you should keep a half-dead (or fully-dead) plant sitting in your living room. We know that the newest self-help trend nowadays can mislead women like us into believing that we can do anything we set our minds to.
While that sentiment is generally true, trying to transform yourself into a gardener overnight when you're fully aware that the most time you spend outside is to walk to the market for wine sounds like a waste of time. You have plants for the aesthetic, not passion. Go ahead and get some fake ones and you'll never have to worry about it again.
Wire hangers have a ton of stigma surrounding them and every criticism is completely justified. Their one job is to hang clothes in your closet and they can't even do that right. Don't even attempt to hand a silk blouse with one of these things; we guarantee it'll slip right off.
Many people don’t know that wire hangers can damage your clothing. It pulls in the shoulder areas in an unnatural way which stretches out the fabric. Plastic is a better option, but cloth and wood hangers are the best choices for most — if not all — of your clothing.
Dear lord, fuzzy dice need to go away for good. They always seem like they fade away and then crop up again years later when you least expect them. And even if you hang them from your rearview mirror ironically, they just look horrible and tacky. It's not worth it!
If you absolutely can't live without hanging something from your mirror, there are plenty of other much classier options. From fancy air fresheners to sparkly-dangly things, and light catchers, anything is better than crusty and dusty dice that lack any significance to your life. How to people own these? Are they gifts? How could they possibly splash out cash on it themselves?!
Tights with runs and holes are pretty trashy, but we didn't have to tell you that. The only time you should wear them is when you’re out and can’t change. Even then, you should seriously consider just taking them off if you can. Bare skin isn’t as bad as worn-out tights.
The whole point of wearing tights in the first place is either to be warmer or appear more modest and professional. Rips and runs are literally the complete opposite of "modest" — that is, in the minds of subway passengers who are certainly judging women over 40 for not dressing appropriately. Trashy tights should either go into the trash or get repurposed into something usable.
Ditch any high heels from your collection if you can’t stand wearing them for more than an hour. As we age, we need more support for our feet so that it doesn’t hurt to walk by the time we’re 60 and 70. High heels and shoes without support can exacerbate issues that may not have popped up until you are well into your 80s.
But, honestly, most heels aren't necessary for you to keep in your collection past 40 because they are just that uncomfortable. Only 20-somethings with a death wish are fine wearing stripper heels around the club on a regular basis. Does that sound like you at this point in your life? We hope the answer is no.
You invite your friends over for a little girl time. You have the wine, the perfect movie, and snacks. Now, what do you do next? Pull out your… plastic stemware? Even if you’re a little on the clumsy side, it’s always better to buy real stemware. That's glass, by the way.
Not to mention, you feel a lot fancier with an actual glass wineglass in your hand. Believe it or not, charity shops like Goodwill and the odd flea market have plenty of affordable stemware options. And they tend to have full sets, too! If not, you can always mix and match... Who wants completely uniform glasses anyway? As long as it's not plastic, is fantastic.
Unless you can alter it or wear it again, get rid of it. Most of the bridesmaid dresses we’ve accumulated can’t be worn again because they’re frankly hideous. It sounds cliche, but it's true. Try wearing a bridesmaid dress anywhere outside of a wedding venue and tell us how it went. We bet you were supremely uncomfortable the entire time.
Unfortunately, we’ve all been there, and if you have a lot of friends, you probably have more than one bridesmaid dress stuffed in your closet because you can't seem to sell it for both nostalgia reasons and the fact that you probably had to pay for it on your own.
Scrunchies went out of style in the 1990s after women wore them to death the previous decade, and that’s where they should stay — in the grave of the '80s. Yeah, they look cute, but that's why children are still allowed to wear them, not mature women with plenty of other options.
Ever heard of Bobbi pins? Hair scarves? Or, better yet, an actual hair tie? Not only are scrunchies terrible at keeping your hair tied up (which is the entire point), but they make you look like you’re trying to get in touch with your childhood... in a bad way.
College was a special time where you could decorate your place with anything you happened to accumulate but there’s no reason to keep your home looking like a college dorm. Back in university, you had no money to invest in nice decor for a room that you'd move out of in a semester or two.
But now, unframed posters and photos taped to the wall signal to anyone visiting your home that you never moved on from your college years. Please take them down. What's wrong with frames? New and custom frames are expensive, we know, but that's not your only option. Scrounge through Walmart or Goodwill and we guarantee you'll find the size you're looking for. Doing anything less is just lazy.
No more plastic furniture, especially if it’s the type that requires an air pump to inflate. Aside from air mattresses (although we'd suggest a guest room for your friends and family in the best-case scenario), you shouldn’t own any plastic furniture. It’s cheap, but it breaks pretty quickly and looks tacky.
Overall, it's a lose-lose situation. Even its affordability is a con because you don't feel accomplished from buying it because you already know it will look run down as soon as you set it on your porch. But if this is really your only option, for the love of all things holy, take off any stickers. Your home isn't a Walmart and shouldn't be treated like one.
In all honesty, no one looks great in tube tops — not even most girls in their 20s who routinely base their fashion choices on teen popstars and Forever 21. That being said, a woman in their 40s should never wear a tube top. Even so, there are so many better options that make tube tops pale in comparison.
The downfall of tube tops is that many lack straps, which are a vital aspect of any shirt that you don't want sliding right off of your body. Nothing's more annoying during a night out than tugging on a tube of fuchsia fabric every five minutes. It's not cute. It's not classy. It's just tacky.
Uggs are basically slippers, and most people don’t wear house slippers outside. At least, most people with a sliver of self-respect. They also don’t really provide much support for your feet. By the time you’re 60, you’re going to wish that you had that arch support in your 40s.
Uggs are already considered "cheugy" among Gen Z, which basically translates to "ugly," so why do you think you're any different? Wearing Uggs will only give the younger generations more ammo to fire against you and it's not worth sacrificing your sanity for this glorified space boot.
Phone cases come in a wide variety of styles, including tacky and kitschy. There’s no reason a grown woman needs to have bows, glitter, and ice cream cones on her phone case. Instead, get one that’s actually useful for holding cards or propping itself up. Even a Pop Socket would be better.
If you didn't already know, Oxford Languages defines "kitsch" as "art, objects, or design considered to be in poor taste because of excessive garishness or sentimentality, but sometimes appreciated in an ironic or knowing way." As an adjective, it's "considered to be in poor taste but appreciated in an ironic or knowing way." Enough said.
We’re not telling you that you should wear high-waisted jeans instead, but you should probably toss out any low-rise jeans that are left in your closet. Not probably — definitely. They’re pretty tacky in an “I-went-to-Mardi-Gras-and-got-tons-of-beads” kind of way if you catch our drift. Needless to say, nobody looks respectable in this style.
To be fair, women over 40 aren't the only people who should avoid this terrible style. We think it never should've been invented in the first place. These pants were made with those women with abnormally flat stomachs in mind, yet things still look off when they wear them, too.
Hoarding expired makeup isn’t just immature — it’s dangerous. Expired makeup can give you acne and eye infections. You can sanitize some types of makeup, like powders and eye shadow palettes, but it’s still best to toss anything that's crumbling into dust or just so happens to be older than your firstborn child.
We understand that it's hard to beloved makeup products go. You spent so much time and hard-earned money on that NARS palette, and now you just have to throw it away for "sanitary" reasons? What about your nostalgia? While we do understand, you have to suck it up and let it go or the last thing you see will be your eyelids swelling shut from ten-year-old powder.
Keep your childhood stuffed animals but don’t display them for the world to see. Stuffed animals are one of those things that you probably shouldn’t have by the time you’re an adult, much less in your 40s. At least, it's not something you should be actively purchasing for yourself on the regular.
Children and grandchildren are different, obviously. But Squishmallows and Pillowpets might look cute and spark some nostalgia inside for the "good 'ole days" but you live in reality now. There's no place for a giant beaver stuffed animal in your master bedroom. Leave that to the kids and edgy teenagers.
Jewelry that is blatantly cheap won’t ever look good with an outfit. If it’s turning your skin green, then it isn’t good for you. Spend a little more and get something that won’t hurt you or your skin. We're not saying you have to spend a fortune on every piece of jewelry, but invest in what you can.
Plus, there are ways to obtain nice pieces without maxing out your credit card. Thrift stores, consignment shops, and vintage boutiques collect jewelry from all stages of history, ensure it's of good quality and condition, and resell for a lower price than retail. Buying brand new doesn't mean you're "all that" — in fact, it's usually the dumber option.
Your college days are well over, so it’s time to put away those sorority shirts. While you’re at it, tuck away anything else that screams sorority. Don’t toss mementos in the trash but just stop wearing them during evenings out and displaying letters that nobody cares about anymore. There are better achievements you can show off.
If you just can't bear to let go of these shirts, try repurposing them instead. Harness your inner Renee from Twilight and ship them off to be transformed into a T-Shirt quilt. Let's face it, no one is going to buy these shirts from Goodwill, so they're as good as trash. At the very least, you can have a new blanket. It transforms at least 30 memories into one piece! Perfect for middle-aged ladies who can't let go of the past.
Slightly distressed clothing is alright, but a button-up is so torn that looks like a bear attacked you? That is a big no. Not even kids in their 20s look good wearing something that looks like they went hiking in the wrong place, got their jeans snagged on a bush, and rolled down a thorny hill for who-knows-how-many yards.
We're trying to think of any place where this type of clothing is appropriate, and there are only two options. The first is the local dive bat where everyone already dresses like this. The second option is a Halloween party and you are dressed as a zombie from The Walking Dead. There's no in-between.
Halter tops aren't objectively bad yet there isn’t really any situation where a halter top is necessary for someone over 40 to wear. Outdoor music concerts? Maybe, but even then, a sleeveless blouse looks a lot better than a halter top, especially because most of these tops are cropped these days.
Let's be clear — we're not coming after your elegant halter dresses. That's different. We're merely trying to save you the embarrassment of going out into public wearing an ill-fitting shirt designed for a sixteen-year-old studying for her high school biology midterms. You've experienced way too much in your life to be reduced to that.
If you’re having a party, then stock up on red solo cups. Doing anything and everything to ensure there's less clean-up on your part is A-Okay in our book. However, if you use red solo cups as your usual glassware in everyday life, then it’s definitely time for an upgrade. Not only does it help the environment, but it helps your reputation.
You don't seriously believe that red solo cups are appropriate glassware for your in-laws to drink out of while they're in town? Or for birthday and holiday dinners? A house party is one thing; a real event is something else entirely. If you're so concerned about saving money, pick up some glassware from Goodwill. You'll be surprised how many matching sets they carry.
"Cute" hair ties are just like scrunchies. They're made for girls under 21 so match their trendy and wholly impractical aesthetic of the month. Usually, they're terrible for the integrity of your hair and are terrible at doing the one job they were specifically designed for... holding up a ponytail.
A basic rule of thumb is to invest in hair ties that match your hair color. Even if your color changes often, you can’t go wrong with black hair ties. If you want one that doesn’t crimp the hair, they make no-crease ties that keep your hair looking good when you let it back down.
Furniture is expensive, we get it. So we understand that it's tempting to hold onto pieces no matter how much damage has been done to them. We're not against repair or repurposing at all, but when pieces are beyond your expertise or have crossed the lines of usability completely, just bite the bullet.
We guarantee you will be so much happier after investing in whole pieces of furniture, and it'll make your home look better, too, because broken furniture can be pretty bad. A broken couch can give you horrible back pain, as can a crappy mattress. Upgrade and get something that’s high quality.
Face it. No one likes sleeping on a futon, and an adult shouldn’t own one. They were a college staple out of necessity, not functionality. Even if you don’t have a guest room, get an extremely comfortable couch with deep seats. It’s basically a bed when you get down to it, and it’s a lot comfier than a pseudo-bed with no support.
The more we talk about futons the angrier we get. Why do so many people own them? Are they all leftovers from our first post-college apartments? Why are they such a staple of living room decor? We won't stop raising our concerns about these back-breaking seats until we see every last one of them in a doctor's office rather than your office-slash-guest bedroom.
As hard as it is to upgrade to better silverware, it must be done. And you've had plenty of time to do so. We understand that finding and investing in a complete collection takes a while, but you've run out of excuses during the past 40+ years of being alive.
You want most — if not all — of your silverware to match by the time you’re 40. As for the old stuff, you can give it away to Goodwill or another organization. But at the very least, make sure your cutlery is not plastic. A matching set of plastic forks, knives, and spoons is criminal at that point, both for your reputation and the environment.
Twinkle lights are for literal children or fresh-faced teenagers that are going off to college and just have to decorate their dorm room like that one girl on Pinterest. When you’re an adult, you can afford to get really nice lighting that’s actually useful for your home and isn't a fire hazard. Imagine that.
Despite believing that twinkle lights shouldn't serve as decoration anywhere in your home outside of your daughter's room, we will make one exception. Outdoor twinkle lights actually upgrade the look of your patio for evening events. So don't toss those lights lighting your yard because those lights — and only those— are objectively classy.
Do we seriously have to spell this one out? Not only are they childish, but there's absolutely no reason to buy one of these as a grown woman. Who owns bean bag chairs anymore besides teenage boys unhealthily obsessed with video games? Hopefully not anyone in their 40s...
Yes, we're talking about you. Unfortunately, bean bag chairs were way too profitable when they first were invented and are still being produced. They can still be found here and there, but that doesn’t mean they’re the ideal furniture for someone’s home.
Unless it’s for a child, ditch the cartoon figures. If you love Hello Kitty, and you can’t imagine a life without her, then so be it. Keep one or two, or force that love onto your child so they can take all your stuff. Otherwise, find original pieces that add character to your home.
Don't let your home be defined by some billionaire's cartoon creation. You have enough personality to make your home actually yours without transforming it into one giant free advertisement for Spongebob. By the way, Spongebob should never be in your decor. That was just an example.
First of all, dolls are extremely creepy. Ever seen Annabelle? If not, you should and that will change your mind. Second of all, dolls are EXTREMELY creepy. Yes, so creepy we had to list that twice. Dolls scare pretty much anyone that enters your home, and those that aren’t scared are definitely suspicious characters.
There are hundreds of doll collectors out there who — no matter how suspicious — would love to take your (definitely haunted) dolls off of your hands. They'll take great care of them and you won't have to worry about demon possession ever again. Hopefully.
You can show off your personality without decorating your living room with a pillow that says, “I love tacos.” Choose patterns, colors, and shapes that you love instead of statements that make zero sense. These pillows are specifically made for preteens who love Justice and Claires. That's really it.
Now, some pillows are just too specific to your personality to resist. Those finds are 1 in every 1,000,000 tacky novelty pillows out there. You're only allowed one of these pillows per person per household, so choose wisely. Although, we're still skeptical if anyone over 40 really needs a pillow with a unicorn cat fairy embroidered with color-changing sequins.
Reason #1 why glitter makeup is the worst: it gets everywhere, and you can’t get it off no matter how hard you try. That being said, we think the more low-key shimmer is a great idea for anyone that wants to shine bright like a diamond. Sorry, but past 40 is not the time to shine bright.
Reason #2 glitter makeup is the worst: it's incredibly harmful to the environment. Any woman over 40 should know by now that being environmentally aware is incredibly important for the sake of humanity. It sounds dramatic, but it's (unfortunately) true. What can you wear instead? Stick with a subtle highlighter and even some smokey eyes for dramatic looks.
Do you own a store? Or a nightclub? Then neon signs are perfect. It's great marketing for your business. But here's the kicker: if your neon signs aren't an open sign hung outside of your shop, then they don’t really belong anywhere else. Including your home. And your woman cave.
For some reason we'll never be able to know, men think that neon signs will elevate their man caves into a legendary realm. These poor, clueless men can't be more mistaken. So if your partner is begging for a neon sign to hand above his La-Z-Boy recliner and crusty carpet, stay strong.
Butterfly chairs can be comfortable, but you have to move heaven and earth to get out of them. At 40, you’ll probably appreciate furniture that actually supports your body better than a butterfly chair. And needing the bathroom but not being able to haul yourself out of these things is not a good combination.
This picture of a butterfly chair is probably the exact one you had in your childhood bedroom but in a variety of different colors. There's nothing wrong with appreciating their memory, but there's a fine line between nostalgia and trying to live in the past. Don't be that person. Invest in your retirement fund instead.
Even if you collect them, it’s time to upgrade to actual salt and pepper shakers. Rather than the shake-and-go version, purchase grinders. Nothing is better than fresh salt and pepper; plus, the feeling of grinding up your spices is so satisfying. We guarantee that you'll never regret switching this up.
Of course, we're always partial to pieces that you're emotionally invested in for one reason or another, so keep one or two for safekeeping and passing down to your children, like a weirdly salty family heirloom. but allow those to be displayed (in the cabinet) until that time comes.
Peasant skirts will never come back into style, and they rarely look good paired with modern pieces of clothing. It’s time to upgrade to pieces that flatter your body. Peasant fashion literally dates your body back to the 1500s. That's way too old for our taste, especially when you have so many modern options to choose from.
Renaissance fairs are one thing, but everyday living is another. You have a rockin' bod and there's no point in pretending that you should have to hide your assets for the sake of an outdated trend. Do us a favor and download any social media app. You'll quickly realize the endless possibilities of post-40s fashion.
Mardi Gras beads say one thing and one thing only. We're 99% sure that you know what that "thing" is, and it's definitely not flattering for a woman in her 40s. Not only do they say something about you that isn't appropriate, but they also look pretty tacky any way you slice it.
There aren’t many times where plastic beads look great on your body or are displayed in your home. You purchase them for one day a year, throw them at random people in a parade, then store your collection in a drawer for the rest of the year. More than anything, they're a waste of precious storage space.
Blacklights have pretty much gone out of style unless you’re in a certain culture. And that culture includes teenaged gamers, 20-something ravers, and that's pretty much it. By 40, you don’t really need a blacklight in your home. There's no harm in owning one because there always seems to be a need for one when parties or get-togethers roll around, especially if you have kids in high school.
If you want different types of light, install a dimmer or purchase bulbs that create a warm or cool environment — whichever suits you better. There are awesome bulbs you can install anywhere in your home that you can control with your phone! How amazing is technology these days?!
Gladiator sandals are bad for two reasons. First of all, these sandals literally don’t provide any support for your feet. Before long, you’ll notice pain in your arches, and you’ll regret your footwear choices. The second reason is that they just look bad. That's literally it. Don't make us dive into the reasons...
Okay, you convinced us. Gladiator sandals looked good on gladiators. No one else. Modern women — no matter how old — typically don't have calved so muscular that the straps of these sandals don't crush your skin. This isn't a diss, but we hate the feeling of our skin bulging through the cracks. It sounds bad because it is that bad.
