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An image of chopping cart wheels to demonstrate what Black Friday does to humanity

What Black Friday Can Teach Us About Humanity

Black Friday is chaos defined. Masses of people wake up before dawn, line up (or sometimes camp out) outside of the big box retailer of their choice, and then rush the doors just to get the day-after Thanksgiving deals.  For the retail world, this is approximately equal to all of their worst nightmares rolled into one, annual day, at least in part because of the terrible, terrible things that they learn about their neighbors and humanity as a whole.

Sales rob people of their good sense.

Normally savvy shoppers see the Black Friday sales and go nuts. Stores do this on purpose—they block the doors, change their store hours, and spread their bottom dollar items around the store in the shape of a track all to generate excitement and near hysteria. The shoppers who usually read every review are blinded by the $200 price tag on a cheaply made LCD TV, even if they were planning to hold out for an LED model. That is the power of Black Friday.

People will do terrible things…

And say that it’s for Christmas. Or to get the best prices without the hand cramps they get from couponing. Who knows, really? But how many people are trampled when the doors open every year? Even if they skip the trampling of an elderly woman, shoppers are 125% more likely to yell at an innocent sales associate on Black Friday than on a normal day. It’s a day full of questions like “Why are you out of this already?” and “Why isn’t this one the same price?” that are followed with accusations like, “Because of you, my granddaughter will never have the digital camera that would have made her the next Ansel Adams!”

People only care about their own holidays.

Our holidays are near and dear to us. In the US, we go especially nuts for Thanksgiving. We’re off work, we’re celebrating the pilgrim’s first party, and we’re going around the table, recounting our gratitudes, all after spending at least half the day cooking more food than any normal family can consume at once. While most people enjoy the holiday, there are countless people working to set up for Black Friday instead of spending time with their loved ones, especially as Black Friday starts earlier and earlier (6pm on Thanksgiving ring a bell?), yet shoppers keep on shopping.

This Black Friday, maybe take a minute to get some space from the craze and get in touch with your rational side. Don’t fall into the adrenaline rush, you’re better than that. If you aren’t, well, enjoy your $3 DVD’s and try again next year.

Last Updated: October 15, 2015