A group of moms with their babies.

Mean Moms: How to Handle Them

Being a mother is a wonderful experience, and a large part of that experience is sharing it with other moms. Whether they’re fellow mothers who are volunteering in the classroom or moms in your child’s playgroup, you’ll likely encounter at least one mom with whom you don’t get along. Some mothers may be bossy, catty, or act like their child is perfect, and while you may have the urge to tell them how you really feel, there are better, more mature ways to handle these types of mothers.

The Mom-Bully

If there is a mom in your child’s playgroup who does not treat you and other parents with the respect you deserve, she is probably acting out of insecurity. If she excludes you, acts catty towards you, or you hear about things she’s said behind your back, try not to take it to heart. Most adults have grown out of this type of behavior, but if this mom perceives you as a “threat,” she may start trying to put you down to make herself feel better. You can’t really do anything to alter her behavior, but if she makes you uncomfortable, it may be best to avoid that situation altogether. You can always find another group that does not have that kind of toxic environment. 

The Bossy Mom

If both of you are volunteering in your children’s classroom and you find that this mom likes things to go her way or the highway, it can cause some tension between you two. If you both don’t agree on certain issues in the classroom, first try to reason with her and come up with an acceptable compromise. If she cannot be reasoned with, perhaps you should have a discussion with her and the teacher to see if you can volunteer on separate days. You obviously don’t want to stop spending time in your kid’s classroom, but you want it to be a positive experience. This may also mean volunteering less, but the time you spend there will be more enjoyable.

The Mom You Don’t Like, But Your Children Are Friends

This is a tough one. Even if you don’t like the personality of the mother of one of your child’s friends, your child should still be able to see his/her friend. Arrange activities where you and the other mother do not have to interact much, such as her dropping her child off at your home to play, then picking her up in a few hours, or vice versa. However, if you do not agree with this other mom’s parenting techniques and you don’t want to send your child to her house, it can be slightly more complicated. You don’t want to offend this person so you should suggest activities that are outside the home and have a firm end time, like going to the movies or the zoo. You will probably have to put up with her for a few hours, but at least you’ll know your kid is being properly looked after.

The Mom Whose Child Can Do No Wrong

It can be incredibly difficult to get along with these types of moms. No matter what you tell her about your child, she always has to one-up you. Oh, your daughter won second place in the school spelling bee? Well, her daughter won first place at the state science fair last year. Or, if you happen to catch her child bullying your child, she will likely become very defensive and not listen to you and your child’s side of the story. You probably want to avoid this mom and her child altogether because, chances are, she is not going to change. Her child may also start to pick up on these behaviors and start treating your child the same way.

Last Updated: August 26, 2015