Playgroups, or mommy meetups, are almost as much about moms making friends as it is about your children playing with Legos and paper dolls together. As mothers, some of whom may also be juggling full-time jobs, it can be incredibly difficult to find the time to make new friends. One of the easiest ways to do just that is through mommy meetups because you have the built-in opportunity to socialize with other mothers in the group while your kids are busy playing. These kinds of play groups can be great if you enjoy spending time with the other moms, but it can also be a negative experience if dramatic issues arise between any of you.
Pros:
- It’s convenient and fun for both mom and child.
One of the most obvious benefits of playgroups is the convenience. You don’t have to worry about finding a babysitter for your children because they’ll be in the same room as you so that saves you both anxiety and money. Since you’ll want your children to participate in play dates quite often, you’ll have more built-in opportunities to develop friendships with other moms. These play dates are probably a weekly or bi-weekly event already in your schedule so you won’t have to worry about shuffling your agenda around to have some girl time. - Other moms will understand.
Another plus of making friends through mommy meetups is that you know each of you have similar interests and schedules because of your families. No one will get offended if you turn them down night after night because you have to take care of your sick toddler, and they will appreciate the times you are able to hang out because they are aware of how precious your time is. When you are together, you’ll be able to relate to each other and won’t have to face the struggles of motherhood alone. You can laugh about them together and get helpful advice for situations you aren’t sure how to handle, like your child being bullied at school. - You become well-versed in each other’s children.
Hanging out with the mothers of your child’s friends allows you all to know each other's children as well. Through that, you’ll know that if you and your husband want to go on a spontaneous weekend getaway to Branson, you’ll have a friend you feel comfortable asking to watch your children. She won’t accidentally feed your kid trail mix if your little one is allergic to peanuts, and she’ll already know what kind of games your child likes to play.
Cons:
- The risk of drama.
Your play group probably consists of four or five moms and their similarly-aged children, and you know what sometimes happens when you stick that many women in a room together? Drama. Stacy said something to Darlene about how your child looks overweight, or Kate left you and your kid out of the trip to the local water park. Or, maybe you can’t stand one of the other moms, but don’t want to exclude her because the other women like her. You’ll probably grow closer to some of the moms and not others, so it may cause tension and gossiping within your group if several of you do not get along. - Your kids might not get along.
It’s ideal if both you and another mom become friends and both of your children get along very well, but if your children don’t like each other, it will be difficult for your own friendship to flourish. Each of you will obviously take the side of your own child, especially if your kids get into an argument or fight, and that can cause a rift in your friendship. Other friendships aren’t based on whether your kids get along, but friendships in playgroups definitely are. - You might have child-centric friendships.
Lastly, your adult friendships with other moms should be about more than discussing different organic diaper brands and how difficult it is to deal with picky eaters, but that can be hard if you mostly see your mom-friends at these mommy meetups. If you only hang out with these moms when your children are there, you may get stuck in a rut just talking about your children all of the time. After all, that is how your friendships were formed, so you may not ever branch out and talk about other things, like the new Pitch Perfect movie you want to see, for example, or a vineyard you’ve been dying to visit.
