a man trying to kiss a woman on new years eve

New Year's Probs: The 10 Guys Who Will Try to Kiss You

New Year’s is fast approaching, so if you don’t have a boyfriend now, I hate to tell you that you probably won’t by then either. This means you’ll be single when that glittery ball drops. While you party it up with your friends, keep an eye out for these 10 guys (some good, some bad) who will be coming for you at the countdown.

  1. The Creep Who Can’t Take a Hint
    He’ll keep sidling up to you, and you’ll keep fending him off, but no matter who you’re around and where you’re standing he will follow. He will absolutely be right next to you wagging his eyebrows at you when the countdown starts. Run, girl!
  2. The Guy Who Gets Cuter the More You Drink
    He’ll be okay when you first spot him while you wait on your first drink, but the more alcohol you suck down, the more he will resemble a young Brad Pitt. This will become your exaggerated-but-still-legendary tale of the night you kissed Brad Pitt’s doppelganger.
  3. The Sloppy Drunk You’ve Never Met
    He’ll be falling all around the bar, the bouncers won’t be able to decide if they should throw him out, and he’ll think everyone in the room is an old friend. Before the countdown, he’ll toss a heavy arm around your shoulders and “seductively” slur into your ear that he wants to kiss you at the magical moment. Luckily, he’ll also be sweaty, so you can easily slip away.
  4. The Shy Guy From Across the Room
    You’ll spend all night glancing around with the feeling someone is watching you. You’ll never lock eyes with him, but you’ll catch a few seconds of him watching you here and there. He’ll be intriguing in his silence, but that’s him trying to make a move. That New Year’s kiss won’t really happen.
  5. The Best Guy Friend (Who Is Also Single)
    The countdown will start, and you’ll both be looking around for someone to kiss. You’ll both come up short, look at each other, and shrug because whatever. It’s better to kiss your strictly platonic besti than be one of the only kiss-less people at midnight. Don’t worry. It probably won’t change your friendship that much.
  6. The Friend Who “Forgets” You Don’t Like Him Like That
    Without fail, he always forgets the two of you are not romantically connected when he’s a few drinks passed buzzing. So he’ll flirt all night long in hopes of stealing a New Year’s kiss, and you’ll do your best to be “one of the guys” again. He won’t remember the exchange, but he will hear about it from everyone else and then apologize to you in a jokey manner that doesn’t help at all.
  7. The Guy You Hooked up With Months Ago (and Ditched)
    He’ll just naturally pop up on the one night that you need a person to kiss. It’ll be uncomfortable and awkward, but unless you find someone else to smooch, you’ll kiss him. This will subsequently reopen the can of worms you already hammered shut. The next day will be a lot of fun.
  8. The Rando You Met at the Bar
    You’ll patiently be waiting on some attention from the bartender when he takes the spot next to you. He won’t be anything particularly special, and you won’t even get his name, but he’ll try to kiss you because being at the bar at the same time just has to be kismet, right? Wrong.
  9. The Old Man Who Shouldn’t Be in the Club
    All you’ll be able to think while he tries to put the moves on you is “YUCK!” He’ll be graying, sipping something more mature than a Budlight, and smelling of Old Spice. As soon as you come up with a half-plausible excuse, you’ll run away, but he will absolutely keep an eye on you the rest of the night and watch you kiss some other lucky fella.
  10. The Kind-of-Hot Stranger You Meet on the Dance Floor
    A spur-of-the-moment dance will lead to a wordless connection. You’ll spend all night dancing with him without once getting his name or a really good look at him. When everyone begins yelling “Ten, nine, eight ... ”, the two of you will keep the dance-floor attraction going and seal it with a New Year’s kiss.
Last Updated: December 30, 2015