The strong silhouette of a 1980s-era businesswoman’s favorite jacket might have been cool then, but like the geometric prints and baggy overalls of the decade, shoulder pads are so out of style it’s ridiculous. If you see a pair, run as fast as you can to save your fashion reputation.
Aside from the waist-trimming shape and fun swing of a poodle skirt, this 1950s staple is all wrong. Whoever decided babydoll pink and poodle outlines were a good pair was seriously deranged.
Parachute pants might be comfy, but they’re only acceptable for teenage boys in the ‘80s. This synthetic material does not belong in today’s world, so do us all a favor and let parachute pants remain a fond memory.
Dresses Over Jeans
At the time, this trend was perfect, especially for teens or young-adult starlets. That being said, it would look terrible nowadays. We’ve moved past dresses and skirts over jeans.
Denim jumpers are trying to make a comeback. Let’s just face the music, though. They looked adorable on young Mary Kate and Ashley back in the '80s and '90s, but adult MK&A aren’t wearing them, and neither should we.
Thick Eyeglasses from the '80s
No one is hipster or retro enough to make these thick-framed glasses work in 2015. They don’t make anyone look cool. In fact, wearers simply appear to be stuck in a 30-year-old fashion rut.
Popcorn shirts weren’t popular for a very long time, and that makes them easy to forget. We didn’t forget. They were crinkly and uncomfortable. Plus, you had to stretch them out before wearing them!
For some reason, corsets just keep popping back up despite the fact they should have been abandoned centuries ago. Corsets are not comfortable, and even though the Kardashians are fans of waist training, there’s no reason to wear these in public.
The days of decorating your hair with a plethora of barrettes in wild colors and designs are long gone. There might have been a few dotting the runways, but don’t try to bring barrettes to the street if you value your adult reputation.
Scrunchies are the denim jumper’s BFF, but let’s leave them together in the past. Thick hair ties in various colors, patterns, and fabrics don’t have a place among today’s skinny jeans, batwing sweaters, and OTK boots.
Embroidered Vests, Sweaters, and Cardigans
Your grandma’s beloved holiday garments are not something you should try to wear. There’s nothing sleek, modern, or attractive about something dotted in beads and little Christmas-celebrating figures.
Stirrup pants have had a few moments in history, but most people remember them from the ’80s. Unless you’re doing something athletic, don’t wear them. They look horrible with heels and even worse with flats.
Tube dresses, in general, require a very specific figure. Mohair defeats the purpose of that. They’re soft and fuzzy, but it makes anyone wearing it look like they put on a giant sock. Thankfully, this one is too impractical to pop back up in this day and age.
Jelly sandals were neither stylish nor comfortable. Sweating in them was terrible, and the blisters—oh, God, the blisters were the worst. Plastic shoes tried to make a comeback, but thankfully, it was shot down pretty quick.
Bullet bras popped up in the ’50s but disappeared when the ’60s rolled around. Madonna brought it back in the ’80s for a moment, and it didn’t last long then either (and for good reason). Bullet bras aren’t attractive. Chests just aren’t cone-shaped.
Puffy ’80s Sleeves
What were these puffy sleeves? They exaggerated your figure in the worst possible way. Since ’80s fashion is trying to make a comeback (please don’t), we’re hoping that these stay dead and gone.
Real fur just isn’t comfortable. Plus, there are so many alternatives that are better for the environment and animals. Synthetic fabrics have come a long way since the early decades, so why even bother with real fur anymore?
Sweater vests have a way of making any woman look matronly. If that’s your goal, then go for it, but most of us don’t want to look older than we actually are. This ’70s trend should stay in the grave where it belongs.
Even we have to admit that velour is crazy comfortable to wear, but tracksuits were a terrible trend. These ones, especially. Don’t worry, Juicy Couture was equally as bad. These paired with a Von Dutch hat created a mess of an outfit.
Nothing says attractive like showing off your pelvic bones and underwear, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. Low-rise jeans were another trashy trend from the 2000s that shouldn’t ever come back.
Acid Wash Denim
Here’s the secret about acid wash: it doesn’t look good on anyone. Thanks to the ’80s, acid wash blew up in popularity, but the trend looks terrible. Unless you’re wearing it during painting or something, leave them in the closet.
Visor hats were so ugly that they were a crime against fashion. “Cool dudes” wore them early in the 2000s, and we were all breathing a sigh of relief when they disappeared. Never come back, please.
Why, why, why? That’s the only question we have with shutter shades. They popped up in the ’80s, but Kayne West couldn’t leave well enough alone. He brought them back in the early 2000s. They don’t act as sunglasses. In fact, they just block your field of vision. What’s trendy about that?
Unless it’s freezing outside, let’s not bring this one back? Athletic wear was fashionable in the ’80s, but a lot of style choices during this decade was highly questionable. This and stirrup pants should stay dead and buried.
Bikini Tops as Actual Tops
Unless your name is Lil Mama, you can’t pull this look off. Save the bikini tops for the pool, lake, and beach, and let this '90s fashion trend rest in peace.
Designer Trucker Hats
No one will forget the Von Dutch trucker hat era. They were super expensive, and honestly, we don’t get why. Looking back, it’s hard not to be embarrassed about this trashy trend. Hats? Fine. Designer trucker hats? Nah.
This trend looked great in the ’60s, alright? Now, not so much. Things were tough in the ’60s, but now it isn’t difficult to find enough fabric for a skirt. The whole pieced-yourself-together look won’t fly today.
First of all, bustles are totally impractical. A woman wearing one can’t sit down, and it’s just all this extra fabric to haul around. We get wanting to have a big backside, but this layer upon layer of fabric will never work out today.
Crocs. Just…crocs. We had to put this on the list. It doesn’t matter if they’re comfortable. There are other comfortable shoes on the market. These shoes don’t go with anything, so it’s time to spend a little more and get real shoes.
Ed Hardy, who? That’s something we want to hear in the coming future. We all love graphic tees, but since everyone and their mom wore Ed Hardy, it lost a lot of its pizzazz. It looked cheap in the early 2000s, and it would look cheap if it ever came back.