Vinyl Jumpsuits
Who decided that vinyl jumpsuits were okay? They look incredibly uncomfortable since the wearer will burn up inside and be unable to move. Going to the bathroom is also an impossibility.
Maybe it made the wearer feel like they’re from the future, but there’s a reason they didn’t last into the future.
Bellbottoms
Bellbottoms are coming back, and there’s no clear explanation of why. In all honesty, they weren’t that great in the ‘70s. Sure, they started in the ‘60s but didn’t reach full popularity until the 1970s, so we’re counting them as a ‘70s trend.
To make things worse, the ‘90s brought bellbottoms with tons of embellishments that burned our eyes.
Shiny Shirts
Women occasionally wear shiny shirts to the club or for a night on the town, but men, under no circumstances, should wear a shiny shirt.
They look ridiculous on most people, and that’s alright. Some people can’t pull it off. Just put it in the fireplace where it belongs.
“Space” Dresses
No, we don’t mean dresses that feature space. Those are pretty cool. We mean the ones that make the wearer look like an alien that’s trying to pretend to be human.
There’s a reason they look like that – they look weird. Weird isn’t always a good thing, and in this case, it’s a really bad thing. I need bleach for my eyes.
Studded Belts
Studded belts were alright when you’re a teenager in the ‘70s or the ‘90s (another time they were popular), but not now. We’ve moved on, and the metal is more inconvenient than anything.
Eventually, they stick out and thread gets caught in them. God forbid you scratch yourself because that’s a scar that will last the rest of your life.
Ultra-Wide-Leg Pants
Wide leg pants can look pretty stylish, depending on what they’re paired with. On the other hand, ultra-wide leg pants make the wearer look like they couldn’t decide between a dress and pants.
For goodness sakes, just choose one. They’re flowy, but a small toddler could hide in a single pant leg.
Authentic Fur
Aren’t we beyond real fur? There are plenty of other options on the market that don’t hurt animals. Looking beyond what PETA claims, other reports have shown that fur farmers do hurt their animals because there are few regulations – National Geographic being just one of those sources.
Plus, the synthetic stuff is cheaper and easier to clean.
Terry Cloth Outfits
Terry cloth is reserved for towels and robes. It should never cross over into real, outside clothing.
Most of all, the fabric should never be used as a leisure suit to be worn in public. It’s not cute, and it makes the wearer look like a creep. Wearing at home? Yes. Outside? No.
Ascots
Unless you’re in Scooby-Doo or Three’s Company, you shouldn’t wear an ascot. Coincidentally, the original cartoon was set to take place from 1969 to 1970. Other than those great shows, humans shouldn’t wear ascots.
They hung around from the ‘60s, and we’re happy to announce that they disappeared after the ‘70s.
His and Hers Outfits
Matching shirts or something with your partner is already a little risqué, but complete matching outfits? That’s getting into dangerous territory.
It screams “quirky couple that does everything together,” and something about utter happiness makes people turn away in disgust.
Massive Collars
The massive colors in the 1970s were insane. They were stereotypical of the ‘70s and were usually paired with flared pants.
In all honesty, they were so big that Dumbo would be a little envious of the size. Thankfully, they fell out of style in favor of normal, convenient sized collars.
Patchwork Skirts
Only a few people can pull off patchwork skirts. It’s like someone took a quilt and decided “this would make a perfect skirt.” Actually – that was exactly what happened, wasn’t it?
They may have been comfortable, but they were just as comfortable as normal skirts without the whole “patchwork” thing.
Men’s Jumpsuits
Jumpsuits are inconvenient for women, mostly because it’s impossible to use the restroom. On top of this, it hugs the body and doesn’t allow you to stretch.
Whoever decided men’s jumpsuits were a good idea never thought about what it’d look like. Modern ones have more fabric and aren’t horrible, but the ones from the ‘70s were tight and hugged everything – and we mean every thing.
Safety Pin Face Jewelry
“Punks” all over the world have decided that safety pins make fantastic jewelry, but in the ‘70s, they wore safety pins on their face.
They often went through their nose or their cheek. The nose looked painful enough, but the cheek safety pin piercing? Yikes. Looking at it makes my cheek hurt.
Short Shorts
For women, short shorts are a thing, and it’s debatable whether they’re alright or not. Some people find them alright while others think they’re trashy. What isn’t alright is short shorts on men.
The ‘70s created the shortest of shorts, including some that looked like a guy forgot to wear a pair of pants. This can never become a thing again because my eyes still burn.