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Tacky '70s Fashion Trends We’re Still Trying to Recover From

The ‘70s were a wild time from start to finish. Not only did this decade have some pretty weird movies, but it also had strange food like ham-wrapped bananas. The thought of eating one of these monstrosities makes my hair stand up on end. That doesn’t even begin to look at the strangest stuff from the ‘70s – fashion! Out of any decade, the ‘70s definitely had some bizarre stuff. The ‘60s were just starting to break out while the ’80s were all about color, but the ‘70s? It was all about weird. The weirder, the better.

One of the strangest fads of the ‘70s was making clothing out of strange fabrics. Whoever thought about wearing vinyl as a jumpsuit? Not a good idea. Regardless, they became super popular, and we’re still recovering from it. Not only do our eyes burn looking at ads from this decade, some people decide to wear some pieces as “vintage.”

We have to stop this ‘70s mayhem. It’s time to get some help. These are some things from the ‘70s that started in the decade and should stay there. Our eyes can handle looking at this fashion again, and honestly, our eyes still burn from seeing them the first time.

Vinyl Jumpsuits

Vinyl Jumpsuits

Who decided that vinyl jumpsuits were okay? They look incredibly uncomfortable since the wearer will burn up inside and be unable to move. Going to the bathroom is also an impossibility.

Maybe it made the wearer feel like they’re from the future, but there’s a reason they didn’t last into the future.

Michael Ochs Archives/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Bellbottoms

Bellbottoms

Bellbottoms are coming back, and there’s no clear explanation of why. In all honesty, they weren’t that great in the ‘70s. Sure, they started in the ‘60s but didn’t reach full popularity until the 1970s, so we’re counting them as a ‘70s trend. 

 

To make things worse, the ‘90s brought bellbottoms with tons of embellishments that burned our eyes.

Quinn Dombrowski/Out by the pool/CC BY SA 2.0/Flickr

Shiny Shirts

Shiny Shirts

Women occasionally wear shiny shirts to the club or for a night on the town, but men, under no circumstances, should wear a shiny shirt. 

 

They look ridiculous on most people, and that’s alright. Some people can’t pull it off. Just put it in the fireplace where it belongs.

Tim Boxer/Archive Photos/Getty Images

“Space” Dresses

“Space” Dresses

No, we don’t mean dresses that feature space. Those are pretty cool. We mean the ones that make the wearer look like an alien that’s trying to pretend to be human.

There’s a reason they look like that – they look weird. Weird isn’t always a good thing, and in this case, it’s a really bad thing. I need bleach for my eyes.

(Image via Midjourney)

Studded Belts

Studded Belts

Studded belts were alright when you’re a teenager in the ‘70s or the ‘90s (another time they were popular), but not now. We’ve moved on, and the metal is more inconvenient than anything.

Eventually, they stick out and thread gets caught in them. God forbid you scratch yourself because that’s a scar that will last the rest of your life.

(Image via Midjourney)

Ultra-Wide-Leg Pants

Ultra-Wide-Leg Pants

Wide leg pants can look pretty stylish, depending on what they’re paired with. On the other hand, ultra-wide leg pants make the wearer look like they couldn’t decide between a dress and pants.

For goodness sakes, just choose one. They’re flowy, but a small toddler could hide in a single pant leg.

(Image via Midjourney)

Authentic Fur

Authentic Fur

Aren’t we beyond real fur? There are plenty of other options on the market that don’t hurt animals. Looking beyond what PETA claims, other reports have shown that fur farmers do hurt their animals because there are few regulations – National Geographic being just one of those sources. 

 

Plus, the synthetic stuff is cheaper and easier to clean.

Express/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Terry Cloth Outfits

Terry Cloth Outfits

Terry cloth is reserved for towels and robes. It should never cross over into real, outside clothing.

Most of all, the fabric should never be used as a leisure suit to be worn in public. It’s not cute, and it makes the wearer look like a creep. Wearing at home? Yes. Outside? No.

Susan Wood/Getty Images/Archive Photos/Getty Images

Ascots

Ascots

Unless you’re in Scooby-Doo or Three’s Company, you shouldn’t wear an ascot. Coincidentally, the original cartoon was set to take place from 1969 to 1970. Other than those great shows, humans shouldn’t wear ascots. 

 

They hung around from the ‘60s, and we’re happy to announce that they disappeared after the ‘70s.

Michael Ochs Archives/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

His and Hers Outfits

His and Hers Outfits

Matching shirts or something with your partner is already a little risqué, but complete matching outfits? That’s getting into dangerous territory.

 

It screams “quirky couple that does everything together,” and something about utter happiness makes people turn away in disgust.

(Image via Midjourney)

Massive Collars

Massive Collars

The massive colors in the 1970s were insane. They were stereotypical of the ‘70s and were usually paired with flared pants.

In all honesty, they were so big that Dumbo would be a little envious of the size. Thankfully, they fell out of style in favor of normal, convenient sized collars. 

Hulton Archive/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Patchwork Skirts

Patchwork Skirts

Only a few people can pull off patchwork skirts. It’s like someone took a quilt and decided “this would make a perfect skirt.” Actually – that was exactly what happened, wasn’t it?

They may have been comfortable, but they were just as comfortable as normal skirts without the whole “patchwork” thing. 

Teresa Trimm/Multi color patchwork skirt/CC BY SA 2.0/Flickr

Men’s Jumpsuits

Men’s Jumpsuits

Jumpsuits are inconvenient for women, mostly because it’s impossible to use the restroom. On top of this, it hugs the body and doesn’t allow you to stretch. 

 

Whoever decided men’s jumpsuits were a good idea never thought about what it’d look like. Modern ones have more fabric and aren’t horrible, but the ones from the ‘70s were tight and hugged everything – and we mean every thing.

Michael Ochs Archives/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Safety Pin Face Jewelry

Safety Pin Face Jewelry

“Punks” all over the world have decided that safety pins make fantastic jewelry, but in the ‘70s, they wore safety pins on their face. 

 

They often went through their nose or their cheek. The nose looked painful enough, but the cheek safety pin piercing? Yikes. Looking at it makes my cheek hurt. 

Mike Goren/Safety Pin Jewelry/CC BY 2.0/Flickr

Short Shorts

Short Shorts

For women, short shorts are a thing, and it’s debatable whether they’re alright or not. Some people find them alright while others think they’re trashy. What isn’t alright is short shorts on men.

The ‘70s created the shortest of shorts, including some that looked like a guy forgot to wear a pair of pants. This can never become a thing again because my eyes still burn.

(Image via Midjourney)