BYOP (Bring Your Own Plate)
Who needs plates when you ARE the plate? You know this is some crazy expensive restaurant because the health department would be beating down the door of a normal place if they did this.
And pardon my ignorance, but what is this even? It looks like a glob of jelly decorated with cilantro. Pretty sure my kid could make something more appetizing than that and he's only six years old. Is this a keto peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I have many questions.
I don't care if that thing has been sanitized like an operating table, I'm complaining if I see one single hair in my food.
Nothing says appetizers better than a dead beaver stuffed with a baguette. And what is that off to the side? Cinnamon sticks. If there was a restaurant award for complete randomness, we are sure this one would take the cake. We'd hate to see what that cake looked like though.
Chairs are 86'ed
If you prop up that pipe, it would make the perfect seat for the guy who thought this was a good idea. Don't you just love eating in a stressful position? If you want to feel like you are eating at a construction site, this is apparently the place to be.
We get the vibes this restaurant is going for, but just because we get it - doesn't make it a good idea. This is just an accident and a lawsuit waiting to happen. We're guessing the turnover at this place is pretty quick, because ain't nobody comfortable sitting like that for too long.
Shaken, Not Poured
I really hope this BBQ restaurant was out of bottles because there's literally no other excuse for sauce in a shaker. Whoever came up with this was definitely a sociopath.
See the sauce just oozing from the top, collecting bacteria. Yummy! Yeah, I wouldn't put that a foot away from my food, to be honest, let alone put it on my food. The audacity of this restaurant owner is astounding. I mean, does that even work?
A Sticky Situation
If these menus taped to sticks make you angry, you're in luck! They've already given you the weapon you need to take out all your aggression.
Seriously what is the design idea supposed to be here? Is it a menu or a scroll? Do they reuse it? It seems like a lot more work for the employees and the customers alike, because we all know you're gonna feel like rolling it up again.
An Abacus Would Have Been Funnier
If you ate a meal at a restaurant, it's only fair that you pay. But if they bring your bill out in an old-fashioned typewriter, I'll look the other way if you want to steal it out of spite.
This typewriter is so old looking it is hard to tell whether not it was deliberately made to look like that or its owner just refused to refinish it. At least it looks like the keys were repainted. So that's something!
What a Bunch of Stoners
Does that baked potato look a little off to you? That's because it's a rock. I can't tell if these people were too good for a butter dish or too poor for one.
Hopefully, nobody picks this up and takes a bite into it. To make matters worse, we aren't even sure it's butter. It looks more like margarine. So, apparently, they may not have been able to afford real butter and went with something that's worse for you.
The Space From Farm to Table Just Got A Lot Smaller
This might seem like a crazy idea, but if you're looking to re-sod your lawn or just need a little extra fiber in your diet, grass tables are actually pretty smart.
But let's be real, most people having a picnic don't eat directly off the grass; they put a blanket down because they don't want to eat grass with their meal. Doesn't this violate some kind of health code? They are literally putting dirt on their tables.
Actual Food at Restaurants is Just a Myth
Exactly two of the things in that bowl are edible. Hope you're a good guesser! Or at the very least, I hope you have good dental insurance.
Seriously what is going on with this centerpiece? Why are there restaurants decorating their tables with dirt? Why not a vase of fresh cut flowers or even a vase full of synthetic flowers would be better than this. Look everyone a bunch of random stuff from outside shoved in a bowl and placed on a white table cloth. So fancy...
Hope They Stocked Up on Forks
So what exactly is this? Because it might be an appetizer, but it also might be the heads of your enemies on stakes.
Looks like some kind of seafood wrapped in pork or something - like prosciutto maybe - an odd mix of flavors in my opinion. But what do I know? I would think that having forks sticking up in the air like that would be dangerous but apparently, it's a first-class dining experience.
Bear With Us
Now, I'm no panda expert, but something about this sign seems off. I feel like if I walk in that restaurant I'm much more likely to find a shrimp on the barbie than lo mein.
Apparently, someone wasn't quite familiar with their animals. Guess they should have collected all of those animal fact sheets from the '90s. You don't remember those? Sorry, I'm just old. Come to this restaurant to eat your fresh koala fried rice.
Just kidding. They don't serve koalas here. We hope.
Reinventing the Cob
Not only did someone have to de-cob that corn, they then had to skewer it. If only corn came with some sort of built-in mechanism that would make it naturally easy to hold and eat...
This is corn on the cobs but for babies who can't hold the cob. Wait, on second though, maybe babies shouldn't be holding sharp metal skewers...or perhaps anyone for that matter. Seriously, who the heck is going through all this effort to skewer individual kernels? What a waste of time.
Epic, Menu, or Epic Menu?
This is definitely not going to be one of those restaurants where you grab a quick meal. Reading the menu alone is going to take half the day.
This menu is a real eye sore. And quite frankly too difficult for people with reading disabilities. What does this restaurant have against spacing? Why is it so freakin' wordy? You have to have a college degree to read this menu. Its like all the ingredients are listed for every sandwich except the hamburger for some reason. There's just no logic.
There may be leagues of water between Mexico and Ireland, but apparently their flags are close enough to mix up. Or perhaps some restaurateur finally listened to all my raving about cabbage tacos.
Can you make a taco with corned beef? There's only one way to find out and it's by going to this restaurant. We jest of course. Taco Bell makes potato tacos to be fair and those are delicious so maybe there is something to the idea of an Irish/Mexican fusion restaurant...
Are Brain Teasers Getting Easier or Am I Just a Genius?
I have a hard time believing this was a mere oversight. This is clearly a kids menu designed by someone that hates children.
This maze might be difficult if you were super drunk so maybe that's who it's intended for. We just hope whoever has trouble with this has someone to take them home afterward regardless of their sobriety or their lack of it.
Whatever You Do, Don't Order the Fish
Why not kill two birds with one stone? Granted, these were two pretty strange birds to kill at once...
Unless it's a restaurant designed exclusively for the gynecologists that only they can eat at. Perhaps, the gynecologists, oncologists, and the dermatologists all have their own cliques going on in the building, and won't eat with each other. So then they created separated restaurants for them to prevent fights from breaking out. Sorry, just thinking out loud.
Not Quite From the Mouths of Babes
Hey, so they've invented these things called bathrooms. Have you heard? They're actually perfect for this kind of thing.
But, nah, this mom thought it would be appropriate to change their baby's diaper on a table that's supposed to be clean enough to eat off of. Not everyone is that empathetic though it seems.
Patience is a Virtue
Hey, they might be setting the bar pretty low, but I imagine they're almost always good on their "guarantee."
Generally, we like to be able to get the food we order it but when you are really hungry, sometimes it doesn't feel like it's going to happen. We are sure this semi-classy eating establishment is sure to keep you relatively satisfied.
Plant-Based Dining at Its Finest
This may be the only place on earth where the vegetarian options actually taste good. Here's hoping you're not a diabetic vegan!
Are these options vegan though? It is difficult to say. Generally, you would think so but you never know what could be in that iced tea.
You Won't Believe Your Eyes
Are the employees bad at their jobs or is this some sort of Orwellian nightmare restaurant? Either way, if you go for the salt, you're gonna be disappointed.
Clearly, someone is playing mid-games here and if the person who did this is really mischievous, the shaker that appears to have salt in it actually has sugar instead. Gawd, I hope they put mustard in the ketchup bottle.
Employees Going Above and Beyond
If you thought being a bathroom attendant was disgusting before, just wait til you're washing strangers' hands. At least we know everyone is germ free, though!
Is this like the restaurant's version of a spa treatment? Do they also wash hair or does that cost extra? A manicure might be nice too. I'll just take the whole experience.
Okay sure, you might ruin your life but can you really put a price on a free meal? And after this date, you'll never have to take anyone out again!
We're guessing relationship drama is the restaurant's main gimmick. Of course, maybe it's everyone's gimmick...sorry, this is getting too existential. Anyway, sociopaths eat free. Okay, maybe they are consenting adults. Who knows? But enjoy!
This Counts as Going to Gym, Right?
I hate to break it to whomever made this sign, but you can't pun your way out of alcholism. Turns out your liver couldn't care less how clever you are.
Excellent, though. I don't work out much when I drink but sometimes I work when I drink. Oh wait, my boss might read this. I mean, I drink coffee...and water...of course. Ahem* Byeee
How is This a Selling Point?
Are you brave enough to try the worst table in the restaurant? The discount is nice, but it's clearly all about the bragging rights.
You really can't beat 10 percent off though. That pretty much covers the tax. It just doesn't cover the fact that this is the table all of the servers will miss. But don't worry, you'll get that water eventually.
Lemons into Lemonade
This is so good that it should be illegal for people NOT to do this. And no use crying over a B--it's almost an A!
With enough drinks, you won't even notice the roaches crawling on your feet or the fact that the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in the last month. It's all part of the experience.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Salad
I'm not sure how a top-heavy goblet is supposed a salad more enjoyable, but imagine the people whose salad goblets have actually toppled are probably even more confused than me.
What is this salad even supposed to be? Is this all squash or are those french fries? That probably isn't easy to eat. I don't know if this restaurant realizes it, but they actually invented bowls for a reason.
A Comic Menu
This is not a fail--this is wholesome. Whoever designed this menu was completely unaware of the cultural baggage surrounding the comic sans font, and I for one am jealous of their ignorance.
If you want your restaurant to look as unprofessional as possible, this is definitely the way to go. But to be fair, whoever designed this clearly had no idea what they are doing. Why is there so much negative space? Put something there, gawd!
It's A Real Interesting Direction to Take This Brand...
Harriet Beecher Stowe might have thought she was doing her part to end slavery and racism when she published Uncle Tom's Cabin, but when was the last time an American read a book? BBQ is definitely the way to go in terms of race relations.
We aren't exactly sure how appropriate this is but if it draws in customers...whatever works out for him. We will say he forgot the apostrophe and that's a pretty big error.
Don't Knock It Til You Try It
If everything else under the sun has a pumpkin spice version, why not tacos? I bet they would sell like crazy until people realized they tasted terrible.
I mean, you can make pretty much anything with pumpkin spice, even if you shouldn't. You could probably spice the meat with it and maybe the tortillas. Maybe you could put actual pumpkins in the tortillas too. Okay, we are giving people a lot of bad ideas and we'll stop now.
What's In a Name?
"Actually it's pronounced..." Nope. Shut up and take this blessed pun that has fallen into our laps.
It, pho shizzle, is the best pho you can get at this particular location. And they also have bubble tea for you to wash it all down with. Does Snoop Dogg serve you? Probably not.