Well, excuuuuuuse me.
He wasn't allowed to electrocute himself.
Guess what? We won't let you next time either.
Licking doormats are NOT welcome.
"I wouldn't let him lick the doormat."
We wonder if it said "welcome" and he took it the wrong way.
The AUDACITY!
Obviously, nothing can be done.
"He has a cereal bar in his left hand, but he wants the cereal bar in his RIGHT hand."
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.
At least he's taking responsibility, I guess?
Could things get any worse??
"Microwave ate his lunch."
Just wait until he hears that ear-splitting timer go off.
More muffins -- STAT!
"Someone ate all the muffins (it was him)."
Okay, we can't lie. We've been there.
Guess he's all right.
This is entirely my fault, of course. Whoops.
It IS super high, to be fair.
Maybe the next game will be better...or worse? I don't know.
What was I supposed to do with it?
"I planted a flower in the pot he gave me."
Appreciate it for what it is! A perfectly good--empty--pot.
It's a personal thing for her.
"I picked up the cat poop off the floor without her."
True love is being there for the good, the bad, and the ugly.
That's just uncalled for.
Just wait until he looks in a mirror!
"He thinks the letters on his shirt are upside down."
Listen, letters are confusing.
How could it be blue? Fix it!
It was the holy grail of receipts.
"She dropped a receipt we got from the gas station."
Irreplaceable and devestating.
They're basically the same person.
Forever and always mom.
"She found out that I have a name other than 'Mum'."
What do you mean you're a person outside of motherhood?!?
Oh, so I'm the bad guy?
He made it just for you!
What a startling discovery.
"There was a hot dog hidden in his cornbread."
It is pretty weird if you think about it.
Same, though.
I would probably do the same.
It's called personal space, honey.
This means less work for dinner in the future.
They're just not the same chicken nuggets!
"He finished his chicken nuggets. I offered to get him more."
No, he doesn't want more! He just wants there to be more!
Ice cream is off the menu.
"Her ice cream cake was cold."
We can't lie, ice cream cake is pretty confusing.
There's no win situation here.
"She started crying because I wouldn't buy her the "dolly" movie..."
We think this choice is a lot less traumatizing than buying the "dolly" movie.