Along with the farmhouse craze, doilies have resurfaced and found their new place, and we have strong opinions about it. Do NOT bring those grimy dust collectors into your home. People may say otherwise, but they’ve lost their way to “Grandma Chic.”
Doilies are completely useless and just add to the clutter in a home. If you’re considering a sudden doily collection, just don’t and say you did.
Potpourri, those dusty scented wood shavings need to go--all the way in the trash! You may still see them in select stores but look the other way. Potpourri is out, and has been since 1989. Free up that space on your bathroom counter and toilet tanks and maybe wipe them down with some Lysol every now and then.
If you could hold a blacklight to these biohazard cesspools you would never, EVER, bring them into your home again. Throw the potpourri in the garbage and never speak of it again, we promise we won’t either.
Silk Floral Arrangements
Nothing is more grandma chic than dusty, silk floral arrangements. In grandma houses across America this is the one thing that will be in every corner, floating shelf, and coffee table. Keep the silks at bay. If you need an acronym, just remember this M&M: Modern and Minimal.
We know what you’re thinking, and yes, a touch of florals can brighten up any space. However, if those arrangements haven’t been dusted off and refurbished in a year, you’re on the verge of “granny-chic,” and it’s not a good look.
Pioneer Woman Kitchenware
If you’re looking to make SURE that everyone knows you’re a down-home southern “Ma,” be sure to hit up the clearance aisle at your local Walmart for the Pioneer Woman collection. We recommend going before 5am to beat the traffic.
Nothing says “I’m a Grandma” like overbearing floral cookware! I mean really, you might as well start wearing your glasses around your neck and spying on your neighbors through your mini blinds. Those kids aren’t up to anything grandma!
Dust ruffles - it’s all in the name. Dust. Ruffle. These heinous bed skirt accessories have now gone the way of the top sheet. If you’re still rocking the dust ruffle, you may just be someone's grandma.
Many will say that dust ruffles cover the underside of the bed, but to those people we ask – “What secrets are hiding under the bed, grandma?”
Cherry Wood Furniture
If you thought oak furniture was the only hardwood that made our list, you were wrong. Cherry wood is just as bad. Cherry wood is what most grandmas replaced their oak dining set with… in 1982!
If you’re still clinging to these dated pieces, this is your sign to let them go. If not, you may just be featured on the next season of “Hoarders - Buried Alive.”
We’re so tired of farmhouse decor. Seriously, people spent their entire lives from 2015 to 2019 making their homes look like an abandoned barn left stranded in the middle of a Kansas corn field! Unfortunately, the farmhouse fanaticism hit this most vulnerable demographic the hardest - the elderly.
So, if you ripped out your kitchen and crammed in a gigantic sink and hung rusty barn doors all throughout your house, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Just kidding, you made those choices all on your own.
People who praise paisley are delusional from staring at it for too long. This overbearing pattern is so ugly that it convinces people it’s pretty. The only person who still has a place for paisley is your great grandmother. It’s horribly busy and completely overwhelms a room.
From paisley pillows to paisley curtains, you can find this print on just about anything. Just like how there’s always flies on your garbage can outside! Just because it’s out there doesn’t mean you should put it in your home. Leave the paisley at your grandma’s house.
Precious Moments Angels
Oh boy, you already know what we’re talking about! Precious Moments Angels are those tiny granny gremlins that you can’t touch or even stand too close to! These ceramic tchotchkes are so coveted, you may feel prompted to shroud them in a glass cabinet for safe viewing. We’re here to tell you, it’s the angels brain-washing you. They’d be just as safe in the trash.
We’re here to tell you, it’s the angels brainwashing you. They’d be just as safe in the trash, in fact throw them in the trash today before the granny vibes seep any further into your brain.
Oak is a fabulous wood, probably one of the best. However, those dated oak cabinets need to be refinished with a modern color or stain. Until you do, there’s no amount of decor that can cover the grandma underneath it all.
Many decide to forgo a much-needed renovation and just rock the oak look. However, just know everyone is secretly judging you for your bad decisions.