Poorly Shade-matched Makeup
Sure, your wife probably loves her makeup, but she doesn’t love makeup that doesn’t match her skin tone. Makeup is one of those things that you should only buy if you know exactly the type she would want. Instead of buying her makeup, buy her a beauty box subscription. The box people will probably curate a better selection of products than the rest of us can.
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Socks
You may be the person who asks for socks every Christmas, but she doesn’t want them. She probably already has great socks. You can put some fuzzy or cute socks in her stocking, but since they’re a small item that you could buy for her any other time of the year, don’t think that they count as a significant gift.
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Cleaning Supplies
Buying someone cleaning supplies is just insulting. Buying cleaning supplies is a necessary evil, not something you should do to show affection. Plus, you should be helping with the cleaning. Giving her cleaning supplies implies that she is the one in charge of cleaning and that she’s doing a bad job. If you’re buying her cleaning supplies, she’s not the one doing a bad job.
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Clothes That Are the Wrong Size
Lingerie
Buying someone lingerie is just cringey. It’s the equivalent of saying, “You’re not sexy in what you’ve already got, but you’ll be sexier in this.” Plus, lingerie stores will often try to sell you clothes that will make your wife uncomfortable. Even holiday-themed lingerie is a bad idea.
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Grill
A grill, firepit, or any other outdoor fire contraption is really just a gift for you. Even if you say it’s “for the family,” your wife knows you didn’t get it for her. Plus, if you want to get a “gift for the family” (or for yourself), just write that on the label and get your wife something she’d actually like.
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Lawn Mower
Mommy Coupon Books
Sure, it’s neat when you (or the kids) give your wife a handmade coupon book with kitschy coupons for taking out the trash or free hugs, but that stuff is a given. You should already be doing that stuff. Don’t offer to do something that you should already be doing.
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Exercise Clothes
If your wife loves running marathons or going to CrossFit, buy her some cute exercise clothes she’ll wear. If you guys’ New Year’s resolution is to get in shape, don’t buy her exercise clothes. If you want your wife to get in shape but you haven’t talked to her about it yet, definitely don’t buy her exercise clothes!
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Diet Anything
Buying your wife some new diet product is just insulting. Dieting is not her passion; it’s a necessary evil that’s uncomfortable to talk about. Making her unwrap anything that calls attention to her weight in front of friends and family is the best possible way to embarrass her this Christmas.
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Gift Cards
Let’s be honest: you buy gift cards when you don’t know somebody well enough to buy them a gift. (Or if they’re a picky teenager.) You know your wife well enough to get her an actual gift.
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Skin Care
Fancy lotion and smell-good soaps are great gifts, but it’s a fine line that most husbands often don’t know how to walk. If you buy the wrong product, you could accidentally insult your wife in front of everybody you love. Nobody wants that.
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Tacky Jewelry
The world of jewelry has intricacies that most men don’t know about, much less understand. Buying your wife jewelry is a difficult thing. You could accidentally buy her tacky pieces your mom would wear or trendy teenage items that she wouldn’t want. The worst part? She might still wear it so she doesn’t hurt your feelings. If you opt to buy your wife jewelry, take a hard look at what she wears every day.
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The Same Bottle of Perfume You Got Her Last Year
Sure, that perfume you just bought smells good, but your wife will know if you got her the same bottle last year — even if you don’t. Keep a list in your phone if you have to, but make sure you don’t buy her anything you’ve already gotten her.
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A Toolkit
Even if it’s pink, your wife doesn’t want a toolkit. If she needs it, buy her one, but don’t wrap it up and call it a “gift.” That’s just something you need to go out and buy.
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A Fancy Scale
The scale may be sleek, decked out with smart features, and rocking a hefty price tag, but don’t give it to your wife. It’s still a scale. There’s no better way to insult anyone, especially your wife.
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Exercise Equipment
No Gift at All
Sporting Tickets
Unless your wife gets updates on her phone about the Cowboys, don’t buy her tickets. That’s a gift for you, not for her.
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A Pet
Something Homemade
If you’re a carpenter, sure, make her a chair. If you like to occasionally tinker around in the garage, it’s probably best not to make your wife anything by hand. Most importantly, if you never paint, do not paint her something.
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Offering Intimacy
Premade Gift Boxes
Something Close to What She Wanted
A Picture of Yourself
A Late Gift
Ugly Clothes
Unless you follow the latest trends in women’s clothes, don’t buy your wife clothes you think she’d like. She’s probably pickier than you are.
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Anything That Doesn’t Fit in the House
If you buy your wife a chair, a bulky kitchen appliance, or anything else that will always be out, make sure you have room for it.
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