Animal Mailboxes
There are plenty of ways to make your house stand out from the rest of your street, but do you really need the funky animal mailbox? Maybe try landscaping or a cute picket fence instead. Trust us, an animal mailbox isn't what you need.
Mailboxes like these are practically asking to end up on the receiving end of a teenager's baseball bat. You can put one up, but you're bound to need a replacement before you know it.
Pink Flamingos
Is there anything tackier than a pink flamingo? You either love them or you hate them. Pink flamingos in the front yard have been considered old fashioned and tacky since the 1960s, but yet people are still decorating their yards with them.
Flamingos are certainly the most played out of all the mistakes we're listing here. If you're going to be tacky, at least try to be original. We'll appreciate the new and exciting ways to resent you and your yard.
Re-purposed Tires
Gnomes
It's time to ditch the garden gnomes. Decorative gnomes date back to the 1800s, but in today's world they are mass-produced and cheap looking. While you may think it's funny and cute to add these odd little gnomes throughout your garden, we are here to tell you it's honestly pretty tacky.
We can all agree that the notorious gnomes had their time, but they've simply gone too far. You can find versions decked out in Harley-Davidson threads or made to look like Minions. Enough is enough.
Giant Inflatables
What's the fuss with these giant inflatables? It seems like they are everywhere you look these days, especially at Christmas time. Do we really need to tell you that these are incredibly tacky?
Stick with some lights around the holidays; you don't need to take up your whole yard just to hear the hum of the fans that keep these afloat all hours of the night. Your neighbors deserve better.
Toilet Planters
Surely we are all on the same page on this one. Toilet planters, really? Come on. We will give it to you for using your creativity, but this is just tacky. Keep your toilets inside the house.
Let's just say these planters draw too many questions that you won't want associated with your yard, or you for that matter.
Porch Geese with Outfits
For some reason, porch geese seemed to start popping up on everyone's porches in the 90's, and somewhere along the way people started dressing them. At first it was probably funny, but if you're still dressing your geese it's time to quit.
Geese don't ask a lot of us. Maybe a few bread crumbs here and there, and I'm sure they'd be happier not to have their likeness displayed this way.
Face Decorations on Trees
Those talking trees in "The Wizard of Oz" are hilarious, but that's no reason to plaster faces all over the trees in your yard. Trees are beautiful and full of personality on their own. They don't need you to gimmick them up.
This has to rank pretty high among the creepiest ways to decorate your yard. Please, spare us the nightmares.
Garden Yeti
Can you honestly imagine looking out your front window and seeing this guy stomping all over your pristine yard? Yeah, no thank you.
We're not saying for sure that this could invite a real sasquatch onto your property, but why take the risk?
Wooden Peeping Neighbor Art
Ok, really?! If you put this peeping neighbor fence art up, you are sure to win the "worst neighbor of the year" award.
If you point these eyes out, you're sure to get some troubling looks back at you.
Humpty Dumpty Statues
All we can do now is seriously hope that this Humpty Dumpty Statue takes a great fall and cannot be put together again.
If you want your yard to look ugly, that's your business, but leave our childhood fairytales out of it. Some of us are trying to stay sane.
Zombie Yard Art
Over the years, zombies have all of a sudden become the new garden gnome. Zombies coming out of the grass are sure to add some humor to your front yard, but man they are a sight for sore eyes! Is this the look you are really going for? Surely not.
These are okay around Halloween, and even then it's a bit of a stretch. The scariest part of this decor is how bad your tastes are.
Tiki Torches
If you aren't living in the tropics, it's time to get rid of the tiki torches. Lighting can truly enhance your outdoor space, so burn those tiki torches and invest in some new modern lighting.
If you like the firelight, put in a firepit. You'll have more fun sitting around it with the added bonus of not making your yard so unappealing.
Giant Fake Rocks
Did you really buy a massive faux rock to hide an ugly septic or utility box? Well we hate to burst your bubble, but you just made it even worse! Try covering the ugly necessities with bushes or landscaping. Please don't opt for the giant fake rocks.
Here's a general rule: decorations meant to look like something real usually end up only changing the way others see you, and not for the better.
Random Figurines
License Plate Art
Incorporating art in your garden has become all the rage, but we hate to break it to you. License plates aren't considered art. Keep your rusty, old license plates out of your gardens.
Decorative schemes used in dive bars generally don't transfer well to, well, anything else.
Wishing Wells
Who was the first person to think it was a good idea to put a fake wishing well in the front yard? These giant structures serve no purpose. What's the point? It's certainly not cute.
The only reason you should have a well in your yard is if it's your sole source of water. They should be considered off limits for anyone with plumbing.
Bathtub Planters
Bird Baths
Unless you're an avid birdwatcher it's time to say goodbye to the birdbaths. If you have a birdbath in your front yard, we are going to assume you are 100 years old.
These may even be outdated for birds. Stick with seeds for your feathered friends, and you won't have to worry about whatever is growing in the water...
Lighthouses
Lighthouses are a novel thing that people totally love to see while they’re on vacation. And like most beach décor, they really should just stay at the beach. Lighthouses aren’t just something to look at, they serve an important purpose for sailors! So, unless you’re ushering in pirate ships to your driveway in the dead of night, you probably don’t need a lighthouse.
Real lighthouses are used for communication. The only thing these lighthouses communicate is your acute lack of taste.
Old Cars Used as Planters
People are desperate to use anything and everything as a planter. These DIY disasters are nifty at best. Maybe it’s better than your yard just looking like a junkyard littered with rusted out cars, but at the end of the day you can’t put lipstick on a pig. Don’t leave old rusty cars in your yard, and definitely don’t try to pass them off like a flowerpot.
Tow away these eyesores for your own good. Just think of the damage they're doing to your yard.
Garden Frog Statues
Frog statues have become the new garden gnomes over the last decade. We aren't really sure the reason why, but we do know that you shouldn't jump onboard with the trend.
Another animal themed disaster, but this may be the worst of them all. Can we agree to let frogs be frogs and leave out the mockery before we croak.
Tacky Water Features
A water feature might sound like a great idea - the sound of moving water is relaxing afterall. But not all water features are created equal. We've seen some decent ones, but we've also seen some really terrible ones. Why not play it safe though and just steer clear of them.
If you must try out some water, let's say the more natural the better. But nothing is less natural than water moved by a motor.
Pinwheels
Looking for somehting to spice up your garden or your front yard? Well let us be the ones to tell you, pinwheels are not the answer. Pinwheels look cheap and take away from your pristine lawn.
Aren't these supposed to be children's toys? From like a hundred years ago? How did they end up in the flowers?
Cow Statues
Alright, what's the deal with the giant painted cow statues? They aren't funny and they certainly aren't cute, but for some reason this trend has picked up all across America.
Aren't your flowers pretty enough? Stick with something we all can enjoy. No one wants to get gawked at by some bovine while they walk by.
Lawn Jockeys
Lawn jockeys have been around for decades, but that doesn't mean you should have on in your yard. They actually symbolize a bygone era, and are not just outdated, but they are also offensive to many people.
To have something like this in your lawn just signals to your neighbors that you've been living under a rock for who knows how long. Come and join us in this century please.
Fake Flowers
Displaying faux flowers in your home is fine, not everyone has a green thumb. However, they should never be outside your home. You aren't fooling anyone by "planting" plastic flowers in your landscaping or putting them in your window boxes. Not only will the sun fade them quite quickly, but they'll also never die!
Fraudulent foliage will suffer sun damage pretty soon, and they'll only evoke one thing: cemeteries. Make your yard the land of the living.
Tacky Fence Sign
Those "Beware of Dog" signs really don't serve a purpose. Do you really think it's going to stop someone from jumping your fence or prowling around? No, it's not and to be honest, they just don't look very good.
If you've got a canine companion around who's really putting people in danger, you're going to need more than a sign to stay safe.
Fake Deer
If you live in the country, you may find a deer or two strolling across your lawn. It can be pretty cool to drive up on deer wandering around. But you know what's not cool? People putting fake deer in the yards. That's just tacky.
Who are you trying to fool? The deer know it's a fake and so do we. Let's leave the lame animals out of our yards and make room for the real ones.
Large Yard Rocks
Landscaping with rocks and stones can improve the look of your outdoor space if it's done right. But typically, large yard rocks aren't the best choice. We hate to break it to you, but throwing a few medium to large sized boulders around your pond or your garden isn't considered landscaping.
Boulders are the lawn ornament of choice for Shrek, but unless you're an ogre, keep your stones a modest size.
Mix Matched Landscaping Mulch
Mulch is one of those things that are here today and gone tomorrow. You throw that stuff down and it looks glorious for all of two weeks before it fades and ultimately disappears to God knows where! It’s super frustrating to spend all that money just for some bags of twigs and wood chips, especially when it seems it’s not made to last.
As tempting as it is to just buy a couple bags here and there, take a walk around the block and look at the flower beds of your neighbors who made that same choice. Notice anything? How about mix matched mulch and patchy spots? Save your money over the winter and buy enough mulch to cover your beds all at once, so you can avoid this same mistake.
Rubber Mulch
If magic disappearing natural mulch isn’t your cup of tea you may try out this nifty thing called rubber mulch. This recycled sack of literal tires is something that seemed to solve the world's problems, however it proved to be great in theory...but not in practice. It looks pretty good from far away, but up close, it looks like exactly what it is - crumbled pieces of tire.
All that rubber put off a pretty substantial odor, not to mention the crazy chemicals in the dye used to color the rubber! This just isn’t a good look and it’s also ridiculously expensive. If you’re up to spend that kind of money on your beds, just spring for some reasonably priced landscaping rocks. It’s timeless and doesn’t smell like a mechanic’s garage.
Iron Star Art
Twinkle, twinkle little star, oh how ugly you totally are. This southern favorite is totally dumb. Hanging an iron star on the outside of your house only says one thing. That you live in texas, or you desperately wished you lived in Texas. Either way you cut it, it’s not cute and you shouldn’t do it.
These metal cut-outs also can leave rust stains your brick that will probably never come off. So, make sure you’re really happy with that star shape because you’ll be stuck with it indefinitely. If we still haven’t convinced you to ditch this trend, what if we told you, it’s super outdated? Would you ditch it then?
Garden Statues
Garden statues can range from creepy, tacky and all out ugly. Everyone’s taste in art and sculpture is different, so don’t torture your neighbors with your bad taste. Your front yard should be generally appealing to most people. So, your creepy angles or dog statues may not make the cut. It’s a small price to pay for peace in the neighborhood.
If you’re the neighbor that has countless statues crammed in their yard, just know your neighbors wish they could take a baseball bat to your prized possessions. Your front yard should be clean and simple. Anything overly complex can come off as cluttered or unkempt. Keep the statues in your backyard for your own personal enjoyment.
Gazing Balls
These corny glass balls seem to pop up everywhere and anywhere. There’s nothing worse than overused and underwhelming home decor and that pretty much sums up these things. These things have been around for literally hundreds of years, so they’ve had their moment and it’s time to put them to rest.
Not to mention, one bad hailstorm and they’re absolutely shattered! Ditch these tired chunks of glass for a lighting accent. You’ll be much more on trend, and it’ll be visible at night! We’re not sure why you would ever need crystal balls floating around your yard, unless you believe in the folklore around them. If that’s the case, you may have bigger problems than bad taste.
Junky Windchimes
There’s nothing more serene and peaceful than well-tuned chimes ringing in the wind. But not all windchimes were created equal. Unfortunately, all too often people land themselves with a bad set that literally sound like a toddler banging pots and pans. Make sure to give these a good test in the store before buying. Then you can be THAT person annoying all the other customers.
Equally as terrible are those bamboo or shell chimes that really don’t serve a purpose other than clanking some junk together. Maybe these things have a cultural significance to people living on islands, but if you’re in a land-locked state there’s absolutely no reason you need these. NONE! Leave the island vibes on the island.
Butterfly Figurines
Butterflies in the wild are entrancing and beautiful. But those gigantic butterfly garden figurines just look phony and tacky. There’s one thing always true in life and it’s this: Nothing beats the real thing. Real butterflies drift through the wind and gracefully charm us all. However, trying to bring the same feeling through cheap sculpture is just wrong.
Not to mention, these clutter up your flower beds and look super tacky. There’s nothing better than the real thing, so maybe plant some flowers that attract butterflies. Several species need more places to land and pollinate, so while you’re enhancing the beauty of your space, you’re also helping save them!
Metal Flowers
Several years ago, this trend of giant metal flower garden stakes started cropping up out of nowhere. Sure, ONE of these could be super cute next to your front door in a flowerpot, but these can quickly become overbearing and just too much. Like other garden trinkets these can quickly take your overall look to “Granny Garden.”
This is one of those instances where moderation is key. So just keep in mind that too much of a good thing can leave you with something really ugly. Keep these minimal and in an accessible spot that can be switched out seasonally. These probably shouldn’t stay past spring or summer, so make sure you can put them away when they’re out of season.
Sun Faded Cushions
Those cushions seem to always be on the brink of losing their color. Even the ones that are marked sun-fade resistant seem to always lose their vibrancy. You would think that manufacturers would take initiative to solve this problem, but apparently not. There’s nothing worse than off-colored cushions, so make sure to at least switch these out.
While there are some expensive sun resistant fabrics out there, after a few years even they start to get a little off. There’s even several sprays you can put on the fabric to help, but at the end of it all, nature will always have it’s way. Just keep this in mind summer to summer, and don’t get too attached to the ones you have. They’ll always need to be replaced.
Empty Flower Beds
We usually notice this flower bed faux pas in home remodels. For some reason, people are very motivated by ripping out established landscaping and going very minimal when they replace it. We understand that not everyone can afford to replace existing landscaping with new mature shrubs and such, but at least put enough filler plants in to fill the space.
There are several flowering bushes and other pieces that grow quickly that can be used to bide your time. Or you can splurge a bit for some bigger shrubs that are at least a little further along in their growth. It can seriously take years for some main plants to grow to the size you’d need them to be, so just keep that in mind when you’re ripping everything out.
Bamboo Fencing
People are always fascinated with the resourceful things islanders and beach dwellers come up with to fight the elements of the seaside. For some reason they think they need to bring the beach to Kansas! We get it, it’s a novel idea to continue the vacation when you come back home, but don’t try to make your home something it’s not.
Bamboo fencing looks great by a beach shack, but next to a brick home in a land-locked state just looks odd. Like TLC says, “Stick to the rivers and streams that you’re used to.” Chasing waterfalls can land you in trouble. Like tacky yard decor trouble! In all reality, it’s just not a look that can be pulled off anywhere else, so don’t even try.
Flagpoles
Flag poles are for government buildings, car lots and schools. There’s nothing more obnoxious than a massive flagpole in the middle of a residential neighborhood. It just looks out of place and overbearing. Not to mention, most single-story homes are not tall enough to pull off a full-sized flagpole, so it will make your home look smaller and squatty.
Owning a flagpole also means following the regulation rules associated with flags and their uses. There are many rules one should follow when showing their patriotism. Respect for the flag is a serious thing, so make sure you’re informed and always following protocol. If not, just save your patriotism for the fourth of July.
Seasonal Yard Flags
Yard flags do exactly what baby-boomers love to do - state the obvious. Yes, spring is in the air. You can feel it every time you walk outside, and the pollen punches you in the face. Thanks for the reminder, Nancy. Not all of us love when spring has sprung. For most of us it just makes our allergies go crazy!
If the seasonal reminders weren’t bad enough you could also go for the inspirational saying variety of yard flag. Or you could not and spare us all the external display of your internal monologue. These tired flags are nothing but tacky, so leave them at the dollar store and spare us all your thoughts on the weather. Thanks!
Out of Season Seasonal Decor
Nothing says “I’m the lazy neighbor” like Christmas lights left up till Spring and scarecrows left out until Christmas. Seasonal decor in general is hit or miss, but out of season decor is never, EVER, okay. If you’re going to go there with the seasonal decor, keep it current or your neighbors will judge you.
Seasonal decor is one of those things that are just there to fuel the economy. You feel all the pressure to deck out your home every season with new decor year over year, but we’re here to spread the good news! You absolutely do not need to feel the need to waste your money every season on yard decor. It’s unnecessary and completely cluttery.
Christmas Lights in July
Every neighborhood has the neighbor that leaves their crusty Christmas lights up way past the holidays. If you’re not home enough to commit to placing and removing your lights, just opt for something a little more simple, like string lights on your bushes or somewhere a little more accessible. That way you can still enjoy the season without the hard work.
We totally understand that it takes a full day to take those lights down and organize them back to their storage places but leaving these up for months after the holidays is just as bad as an old mattress in the front yard. It’s tacky, lazy and absolutely not okay. You could even pay someone to remove them if you can’t find the time!
Lamp Poles
Those vintage lamp posts sure have charm, but unless your house also has the charm to back them up, they’re just out of place. Dressing up your lawn and gardens can be a task, and many people’s first instinct is to go with something classic they’ve seen look nice somewhere else. But it’s very important to maintain the character of your home.
Unless you’re committing to a full-scale facelift, changing a home's visuals from one look to a completely different one is just really hard. It’s definitely fighting an up-hill battle. In the end, a few big changes would be more impactful than something like a lamp pole. Unless they’re solar powered, you will also need an electrician to run power to it.
Fake Flame Bulbs
Gas lanterns on the exterior of a home is a timeless and stately look that really makes a home stand out. Recently, many people are trying to replicate this look with LED “flame” bulbs that mimic real fire, but ultimately just look like cheap ‘90s graphics. There’s nothing better than the real thing, so if you don’t have real gas-lit lanterns, don’t even try.
At nighttime, these bulbs look a little convincing. However, in the daylight, they’re clunky and ridiculous looking. Stick with standard clear bulbs on the exterior, you can’t go wrong with those! In this case it’s better to be plain than look like you’re trying too hard. These are definitely a quick fad that will fall out of favor before next year.
Crafty Pavers
Craft time is a blast! A fun one to do with kids is to make diy concrete pavers for the garden, and as endearing as those little pavers are… they just look tacky at the end of the day. Now, we’re not telling you to abandon your little artists’ works, but maybe put these in a less noticeable place. It really is just for you after all!
Anything that is visibly done yourself will usually come off as cheap to passersby. In the front yard, it’s best to keep everything as simple and clean as possible. Unless you hire a professional landscaper that knows that they’re doing! But in most cases, it’s probably best you leave those little projects somewhere behind a fence.
Cheap Pathway Lighting
Pathway lighting is a cornerstone to every exterior design. A well-lit path lets guests know exactly where they’re going, and it adds to the ambience of your welcoming home. However, cheap lighting can make your home look a little dinky. And that’s definitely not the look anybody is going for!
Oftentimes cheap pathway lights aren’t bright enough to light the path, so you’re really just wasting money. Professional lighting is best, but there are some nice lighting kits at big-box stores that can also do the trick. On the box, there will be diagrams of the wattage and distance each light shines. Give those a look before you buy!
Beach Decor (Not on the Beach)
People absolutely love to bring their vacations home with them, but what happens at the beach should just stay at the beach. Beach decor (of any kind) shouldn’t be anywhere but the beach! Seashells, teak wood, all of it should only be in coastal areas. Otherwise, you’re just trying to be something you’re not.
If you’re that into the beach vibes, you realize moving there is an option, right? Sure, it would take some planning, but the world is your oyster! Pack up your family and live the life you really want. If it’s not worth all that, just keep your beach life in your photo album and book a few more vacations a year.